For those of you who follow the Big White schedule, you’ve probably noted that we changed our original departure date for Copenhagen from today, December 9th, to next week. No, we’re not boycotting the conference, are you kidding? And even if we had been planning to, now that Sarah said we should, we’re planning on staying an extra day. Besides, as Team-Obama biggie Larry Summers asked, what do girls know about science and economics any way? And need I remind you? We Won.
There have been more rumored reasons for our change of plans than Tiger has paramours. Let me waive off all the silly rumors, and let you in on the real reason for the delay.
First, it’s not because Big Guy got “wind'” of Joey B’s scheme to pack “fart cushions” in TOTUS’ travel case for a reprise of the joke he played on Al Gore when he gave his big Global Warming speech in the Senate. (Although it was rather funny when Al sat down on the whoopie cushion, and Joey goes “Whoa! What was that? A barking spider? Did someone squeeze a mouse!” It really brought down the House.)
Second, it’s not due to FOX’s (we hate them) illegally obtained emails from the CRU team at East Anglia University demonstrating data manipulation, lies and fraud with respect to the so-called global warming data. Facts seldom inform our positions anyway.
Third: It’s not because celebrity chef Marcus Samuelsson (Indian State Dinner chef!)spilled the beans on the Copenhagen menus when he was here (I told him not to mention anything about stinky little fish to Lady M. Did he listen? )
Marcus Samuelsson and wife Maya Hailes
Fourth: There is no concern that BO is going to bow to royals again. As you can see, we dodged that bullet the last time we met with Danish Queen Margrethe and her husband. No one caught it on camera. Besides, Big Guy can’t think of one thing to apologize to Queen Margrethe for. On the contrary, he thinks she might owe him an apology: he’s not suffered rejection in any other world capital .
The actual reason for the change of plans is because today is Raj’s birthday. And believe me, Big Guy owes him big time for keeping TOTUS’ hard drives and monitors in peak operating condition for all the Big Reads and off-the-cuff remarks. So BO really didn’t want to miss the celebration, even though we’re just having leftover curry from the Indian State dinner. (The only thing worse than the organic food from Lady M’s garden are the recycled leftovers.) But Big Guy will probably just show up to fist bump Raj and tell him how fortunate he is to be participating in BO’s extraordinary, historic presidency. After seeing if Raj wants any autographs for his family back in Gujarat, and thanking him for his small contributions to his unprecedented first year, BO will bug out: so the staff can party without being intimidated by his presence. Lady M and BO will dine in the private quarters on a simple dinner of little Kobe beef sliders and truffled fries. They need to keep up their strength: Health care, recession, global warming – there’s still a whole world out there that needs to be created or saved.
But happy birthday Raj! We couldn’t pull this off without you.
Raj Rajaroni, Chief Tech Support, MOTUS and TOTUS
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