UPDATED: with an actual picture of Big Guy’s frown turned upside down!
I have no idea what Lady M’s up to, but since the paparazzi have been held firmly at bay, I was free to hang at the Big White yesterday to witness history in action.
And what a historical day it was!
First, Big Guy met with the oil slicksters and - just like he said the night before - extracted a promise from BP’s Chairman to put $20 billion in escrow to pay people for damages in the Gulf. After the Copenhagen fiasco, Big Guy’s handlers have finally figured out its best to extort promises before the photo ops.
Shortly thereafter, BP’s Chairman Carl-Hendric Svanberg declared to the press that he “cares about small people,” which is good news for our mysteriously shrinking President O.
So “when all was said and done,” (which always means more was said then done) we pocketed 20 billion BP dollars for an escrow account that Big Guy said will be administered by an independent party – who, as it turns out, is our very own pay czar Karl Feinberg! “Independent” is always a confusing concept around here. Apparently it wasn’t something covered on the final exam at Harvard Law School. But around here it means ABB: Anyone But Barry.
Meanwhile, despite naming a new Spill czar (we’re up to a nifty 50!) and a brand new commission to “look into” everything, Big Guy is stunned that his loyal left guard is still criticizing his handling of this crisis! What do they expect from him! He can’t swim down and plug the damn hole; he can’t suck it up with a straw! You small people are really out of line here. Our new Spill Czar is now responsible for deflecting all criticism related to this mess.
Besides, we’ve already moved on. We are now transparently focusing on bigger fish: a New World Order through our New Energy Policy. "The tragedy unfolding on our coast is the most painful and powerful reminder yet that the time to embrace a clean energy future is now," Big Guy told us all Tuesday night. So far that includes a complete halt to drilling in the continental USA and paying reparations to all third world nations.
So I thought it was safe to take the evening off and play a little 3-D chess with Raj. Bad call, and I’m afraid Lady M is going to be really mad at me when she sees these photos from Big Guy’s appearance at the Nurses Association meeting last night.
How was I supposed to know that he was so exhausted that he couldn’t even hold his jowls up? He looked OK when he left.
UPDATE: After reading bettyann’s comment about actually turning Big Guy’s frown upside down on her computer, I decided to try it for myself. OMG, I almost wet my pants (except of course I don’t wear pants). He does look like Mr. Potato Head!!! If by ‘Mr. Potato Head’ you mean an evil Ninja mutant Buddha head!
I think we’re going to have to switch back from the ‘warm and fuzzy’ cycle to ‘cold’- it appears that Big Guy’s not only shrinking, but wrinkling up pretty badly too.
Maybe Big Guy’s working on a transition to RoboCop:
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