Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Suck It Up, Suck It Down

Wow, is Lady M ever going to let Big Guy have it when he gets back! I know he’s been under a lot of pressure lately, but really, drinking on the job? Not a good idea.

I’d like to be more like the supportive media, but look, this is wrong on so many levels I don’t know where to begin my critique. Let’s start with the fact that the President of the USA ought not be drinking in the middle of the day in the first place, but if you’re going to have a snort with the good ‘ole boys down South, it better be Black Jack, not some girly drink.  Next, don’t get sucked (no pun intended) into ordering a drink with political connotations like “Bushwacker.”  And if you blow points 1 and 2, at least ask them to hold the whipped cream and cherry, and when it arrives, chuck the straw. Sheeze, I shouldn’t have to be telling Big Guy this stuff.

“Big Guy practices sucking it up with a straw”

bushwacker

So here we get a photo of of the leader of the (presently) free world getting a girly buzz on. Big Guy: sucking down a "Bushwacker"  made with dark rum, coconut cream, creme de cacao, half and half and coffee liqueur at Tacky Jack's, a restaurant, in Orange Beach, Ala. I don’t know, but I think he might have lost track of the concept: he’s supposed to be making the folks in Alabama feel better, not the other way around.

Even before he enjoyed his Bushwacker, Big Guy seemed to be having trouble grasping concepts. Here he is at a plant in Theodore, AL where they clean and repair oil booms to be re-deployed. As you see, the whole hard hat concept seems to have eluded him,

nohardhat hard head

although not quite as completely as it has escaped this dude:

ass hattery photo via American Digest’s KACHING! filed under ass-hattery

Today Big Guy heads to Pensacola's Naval Air Station Technical Training Center to make a few remarks to our military personnel stationed there. I think maybe he can score some points by telling them about Lady M’s plan to let them send CARE packages to themselves.

Thank goodness he’ll be off those hot, sticky beaches. TOTUS isn’t allowed to set up there because the salt spray damages his operating system. I’m not saying that explains the girly drink, but I do know that TOTUS sometimes provides BO with - in addition to the words that helped make him famous - helpful little hints regarding proper behavior. He’ll be back on prompter today, to everyone’s considerable relief. Especially for tonight’s big address from the Oval where he’ll be telling y’all why we need to pass Crap and Tax. Because of evil corporations.

For the after glow, Big Guy has already called ahead for a pitcher of those Bushwackers. Extra whipped cream and cherries.

Oh, and by the way: I forgot to tell you about our birthday dinner at Lucques in West Hollywood Sunday night before winging back to the Big White. Lady M and the girls were celebrating Sasaha’s 9th birthday a bit belatedly. It was delicious, but that’s why Lady M was still a little “under the weather” yesterday and apparently again today. I guess those little green olives didn’t agree with her delicate digestion system.

But the dinner was fabulous: an appetizer of apricots and prosciutto with burrata, roasted dates, cardamom and marcona almonds; a choice of either market fish with sweet corn and fresh garbanzos, with lamb's quarters and chili-cumin butter or slow-roasted Colorado lamb over fava tartine with preserved lemon, black olives and purslane salad. Sasha had macaroni and cheese. For dessert: Bing cherry clafoutis with crème fraîche and hazelnut praline ice cream. 

Oh, and we also enjoyed the optional side order of a dozen Kobe sliders with foie gras. I think it was complimentary.