DATELINE: BIG WHITE ORGANIC GARDEN. WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 20, 2010, 4:12 PM. filed by Little MO.
Disaster struck the Big White Organic Garden yesterday, shortly after 4:00 PM, EST.
Unconfirmed as yet, it appears that a windy city storm, dubbed “Hurricane LaVaughn, blew through the Big White organic garden yesterday, decimating the harvest. The sweet potatoes appeared to be hardest hit:
Also among the victims; broccoli,
turnips, still so small they could have been mistaken for icicle radishes,
“maybe they’d taste better with a little Malden sea salt”
and pumpkins - that never stood a chance of reaching Jack-O-Lantern size.
“we’ll just bury it right here and let it rest in peace”
(with this year’s disappointing pumpkin harvest, maybe there is something to Vanderleun’s charge of “pumpkin smuggling” – in THINKING RIGHT)
The atmospheric disturbance, undoubtedly caused by Global Warming Climate Change, which appears to have originated in a deep and rapidly growing West Wing depression, also caused the Big White bees to fly the coop. It’s unclear as of yet if they will consider returning to sweeten the Big White’s mood in the lame duck session.
“the bees were last seen buzzing over the Capital Building before heading off in all different directions”
World famous chefs were immediately air lifted in to honor and comfort what few vegetables survived Hurricane LaVaughn. The surviving legumes and roots were served for dinner to local school children who were bussed in to help clean up the aftermath.
Lady M consoles a young volunteer: “sorry, babe, none of the broccoli made it. Would you like a turnip?”
Big White spokesman, Tim “Caveman” Burton, was dismissive and at times derisive in dodging questions from this reporter regarding the Administration’s inadequate garden safeguards and slow response to mitigating the damage. President Obama, who was reportedly “shooting hoops” when “LaVaughn” struck has yet to comment publically on the crisis. Critics charged that the President, currently campaigning for fellow Dems in Seattle, “just doesn’t care about vegetables” claiming that “if it had been meat, he’d have been there.”
Reporting from the White House organic garden, this is Little Mo.
Back to you MOTUS.