3-D Printing Machines. WTF? Obama’s Birth Certificate No Longer “Off the Rack.”

A 3-D printing machine, WTF? Seriously: this could Win the Future for Big Guy. Just when everyone around here was preparing for the end of the American Century, someone from Cornell comes along with this: A machine that fabricates any object in 3 dimension! How cool is that?

The Economist went so far as to say it could revolutionize the industrial revolution. They’re talking about making ears, and skin, and kidneys! And cakes with your initial embedded right in the middle – in dulce de leche! Or any other flavor of your choice. You’ll be able to get them right at Costco.

3-D cakes, a bit small, butt they come by the gross at Costco

Butt Wow! We have so got to get one of those printers. Think of all the potential applications around here. No more ill-fitting clothes, evah! We could print Lady M’s wardrobe to order:

• Specially printed skirts and slacks that are made to order for our unique J-Lo profile:

 

…in order to avoid that unfortunate optical illusion effect.  

Lady Gaga’s a big fan of custom 3-d butt fittings.

• Also, we could print our own shoes to fit our “unique feet” perfectly.

 Cripes world-famous photo of Lady M’s world-famous “Oprah” toe: custom  shoes are a must with a foot like this.

That way we wouldn’t have to wear that one comfortable pair, whether they go with the outfit or not.

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Or worse, no shoes at all:

• Plus, we could custom print our jackets to fit smoothly over our well turned curves so that this doesn’t happen again:

  

• In fact, we could probably just go ahead and print up our own custom falsies as long as we’re at it,

in order to enhance our boob belts:

We could’ve used a little extra “lift” here.

For a complete list of rack options, visit Gerard’s Side Bar and scroll down to Thursday/Wednesday.

(Just between you and me, I think Sarah’s rack is larger)

Wow, this is fun! How about custom printed eyelashes,

to match our favorite outfits:

Lady M’s world famous peacock harvest

 

…and lips, for those days when we just can’t muster up the real deal:

Best of all, if we can get one of these machines up and running, I know exactly what I’m going to fabricate for Big Guy’s next birthday:

  Hawaiian Certificate-Lite

Real Hawaiian Birth Certificate, brought to you by Fabricate Yourself