Friday, April 8, 2011

Hemlines, Economics, Budgets and Endorsements. This Really is the Pits.

Ladies, I’m here to tell you that there are always dangers lurking under the klieg lights, especially when you choose to wear sleeveless. Harsh lights cast harsh shadows.

military child of the year

Butt I do have some positive news to report: in keeping with the newest fashion trend away from short-short skirts, we’ve lowered our hemline to a more ladylike length.

militarychild

So we’ve got that going for us.

Unfortunately, falling hemlines historically track with a bad stock market, so while this is good news for FLOTUS watchers, it’s bad news for the economy. So let’s move on.

Here we are at a meet and greet with military spouses on Wednesday, looking all lemon chiffony in our Rachel Roy breath of spring dress with it’s quilty metallic skirty. A lovely, and slightly surprising, selection for a morning tea.

P040611CK-0221

The skirt’s a bit shorter than current fashion trends warrant, butt that’s because it’s from way back last June, when we wore it to the  G-8/20 in Toronto. I rather liked the jacket and pearls: they seemed to make the dress look like it was…intended.

mo and joannie

Butt enough frivolity. We have some real critical issues going on around the Big White this week.

You’re probably thinking: ah yes, the budget crisis and impending government shutdown. Well no, that’s not it. Actually, no one around here seems all that worried about the shutdown since the plan’s been in place since last year, and we’re pretty sure we can completely blame it on the R-words – they’re so unreasonable: “Deficit, deficit, deficit! Cut, cut, cut!” Whack jobs.

Our only problem in that department is that our “political advisors” are now carping that the optics of our family spring break weekend getaway to Colonial Williamsburg might look bad if the government is shut down. Hey, it’s not like Big Guy can do anything with the government on moth balls anyway!

Butt what really seems to have people agitated around here is Gaddafi’s letter to Big Guy. What’s up with that anyway?

“Our dear son, Excellency, Baraka Hussein Abu oumama, your intervention is the name of the U.S.A. is a must…”

“Despite all this you will always remain our son whatever happened. We still pray that you continue to be president of the U.S.A. We Endeavour and hope that you will gain victory in the new election campaigne.”

While Big Guy had his Secretary officially diss Muammar’s letter, I will tell you there’s been quite a bit of buzz around here about it. Some people (I’m not allowed to reveal names, butt you know who she is) think that this is just the last in a line of escalating threats intended to send Big Guy a message. First there was Louis Farrakhan, then Malik Zulu Shabazz, and now this, from Gaddafi. What do you think they know, and how do they know it?

The party that I’m not allowed to identify thinks that Muammar’s letter is a not so veiled message. There’s some concern that the crazy Libyan may not be so much crazy as wily. That maybe he really does know who Big Guy is. More importantly, he knows where he was born, and who - and what - his daddy was. And he has the Donald’s number on speed dial.

WARNING: YOU ARE VIEWING A CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT

BARAKA ABU OUMAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE-WM copy

Let’s zoom in for a closer look…

blow-upWM

“Our dear son, Excellency, Baraka Hussein Abu oumama,”

If you thought things couldn’t possibly grow more curiouser around here, you know less about this regime than I thought you did.

Even so, who would have guessed that Big Guy’s first 2012 presidential endorsement would come from the Libyan dictator on whom we launched our first KMA? WTF?