BREAKING NEWS:
BIG WHITE RELEASES BIRTH CERTIFICATE, LONG VERSION
That’s correct. So take that Donald. Next I suppose he’s going to want to see college transcripts from our most transparent, historic president. What? Oh, I guess he does.
Well, anyway, our in-house ‘shoppers, having been practicing on high profile projects for the past few years. Having finally achieved “expert status” they have recently been authorized to “finalize” the long form BC for release.
And here it is, complete with “authentic” signatures!
It looks pretty official, so there will be none of that flap over “Microsoft Word vs IBM Selectric” typeface like there was with the Dan Rather/Bush documents. We learn from past mistakes (other than Jimmy Carter’s).
So we can, gratefully, close the case on this and along with it the question of whether Big Guy is a “natural born citizen.” Because nobody in the MSM really understands the nature of that controversy. They all assume that it’s just a matter of birthplace, not birthparents. And who cares, really, about an arcane clause in the Constitution that requires that both parents be US citizens in order to make the child a “natural born citizen?” I’ll tell you who: just those nutty birthers, that’s who.
For all practical purposes, this one has been laid to rest. We’re on to report cards now.
And speaking of being laid to rest, in other sad news, TOTUS will be holding a memorial wake later today for Hubert J. “Hub” Schlafly Jr., his progenitor, who passed away at age 91 last week.
You may never have heard of “Hub” (who my brother Hub was named after) butt as the father of the TelePrompTer he practically created modern day politics, or at least the politicians who host our political game shows.
The Teleprompter (as it was later dubbed) revolutionized the way politicians manipulated the masses, thereby permanently changing the nature of discourse in politics.
It has also been credited with singularly replacing extemporaneous speech with canned messages and sound bites.
That his invention went on to become an instrument of destruction of the English language and legitimate discourse broke old Hub’s heart in later years. Originally designed simply to help B-grade actors remember their lines in Soap Operas,
Hub often said that he was deeply saddened that his innovation went on to allow people of little skill in the arts of logic and critical thinking to practice public policy elocution behind the podium using the words of nameless, faceless speechwriters and puppet masters behind the curtain.
I think he was being a little hard on himself.
It takes a very special person to use the teleprompter so effectively.
Rest in peace, Hubert “Hub” Schlafly Jr.. TOTUS has got your back.
“Repeat After Me” - Cyborgs taking over may not necessarily be a bad thing.
NOTE: If you were having viewing yesterday’s Deconstructing TIME, please try again. Updated with new video links.
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