Now we know why Big Guy chose last week to release his real, authentic birth certificate: he needed material for his White House Correspondents’ Dinner routine. He and TOTUS had our lapdogs eating table scraps out of his hand. He turned the usual good natured political-media event into a Choir’s Club Roast. Last night’s assigned target: The Donald. And his hair.
Butt for Lady M, the Donald would have had the funkiest hair in the room.
I hope the Republicans were paying attention last night, because this is what they’re going to be up against. Frankly, I don’t think they’re up to the task, despite the Donald trying to show them the way. The fact is, they’re just not mean enough. For example, they still think this “Nerd Prom” as it’s known by the cognizanti, is a bi-partisan event aimed at mutual good humored ribbing. Sheeze! The last time I saw naïvety running this deep, George Romney was getting brain washed. ( ed. this also provides a historical example of an early example of the media taking down a candidate they were afraid of.)
This soiree is clearly an event designed by and for the Media, which by definition tilts, well, you know. So everyone got together a few weeks ago to plot the Donald’s takedown and plan the Roast, in retaliation for his off-the-reservation campaign against Big Guy.
We had to release a copy of the “original long form” birth certificate in order to give the theme liftoff.
For a sense of what the WHCD is like you first have to review the guest list: Sean Penn, Gayle King, will.i.am, Cee Lo Green, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Pivens and a whole lot of other A-listers I’ve never heard of. Butt it’s important for a sitting president like Big Guy to have a lot of A-listers from the entertainment world show up for the Correspondents’ dinner. It means that you’re really popular with all the socialist stars, glitterati, imbeciles, drug addicts and noisy music lovers who will pay to get you re-elected.
will-i-am, the Pennster, Oprah pal, Scarlett and Bradley Cooper, Christine Teiger, John Legend and Jeremy Piven. Wow!
Just imagine! 3000 celebrities and media types (is that redundant?) together in one room with their elected deity!!! Al Gore should have been there; with all that adulation, self and otherwise, that’s a whole lot of renewable, tingly electricity emanating from one room.
And these are all zillionaires who don’t mind “giving a little more” (to us) in order to WTF and spread the wealth around. Excellent!
I don’t want to be around when they find out exactly what “a little bit more” amounts to. Of course, that’s what their business managers and accountants get paid for: to find ways to shelter their stash in trusts, “non-profits,” tax shelters and, if need be, moved off-shore. So they’re ok. I’m just a little bit worried about the rest of the country, butt I guess Big Guy will take care of us too.
Anyway, the Washington Oscar night was a huge hit for Big Guy. His normal team of staff comedy writers was augmented with some union professionals flown in from LA to give his comedic takedown of The Donald that polished, professional, presidential edge that you only get from Hollywood these days. The R-words should be paying attention. This is what they’ll be dealing with in the upcoming contract renewal talks.
And a note to Sarah and Michelle: if you two want to be serious contenders in the next round of American Idol, get yourself a good professional stylist from Hollywood too. Like Lady M’s. Since neither of you require containment structures and both of you have a lot more to work with (while simultaneously a lot less to work with -if you catch my drift), I think the right stylist could take either of you to the top.
Until next year’s dinner, this is MOTUS, your Big White cub reporter, signing off.
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