Saturday, July 9, 2011

My Heroes Will Always Be Cowboys

UPDATE: Thanks to SherryT for reporting a bug in the last video embed code which caused it to auto-start on some Mac computers. Most annoying! The bug has been fixed and I totally apologize for the glitch.

Thanks to CJ for telling us yesterday about Calgary’s time honored tradition of  “White Hatting” visiting dignitaries. Last Thursday, Will and Kate joined the long and varied list of celebrities who have been “white-hatted,” including the Dalai Lama, Pope John Paul II, Wayne Gretzky, Bruce Springsteen, Luciano Pavarotti, Oprah Winfrey, George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and Mickey Mouse.

No, not him.

obama mickey

The real one. From Disneyland.

004-1014122935-Mickey-Mouse-Salutes-America

I can’t really see what the rest of the “white hats” have in common. Out of the whole batch, the only real cowboy is George W. Bush, who by all accounts should be wearing a black hat. How’s that for irony?

BushCalgaryAirportWhiteHat

The white-hat honor was bestowed on Will and Kate by Calgary’s Mayor, Naheed Nenshi.

article-0-0CEA3DC400000578-367_964x727Now that’s the way to wear a Stetson!

Come on now, who are you kidding? “Cowboy Naheed Nenshi?” That doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it? It has a bit of a discordant ring to it, like “Cowboy George Schwemley,” a distant cousin of Little Mo’s who once rode in the Buffalo Bill Rodeo show. Butt Raj found the degree of multiculturalism exhibited in the Great White North reassuring - in case, for whatever reason, he is ever forced to leave this country.

Anyway, you may have noted that the Wons were not included on the list of “white hatters.” That seems a little racist, even though Oprah did get one. So maybe next year we’ll get an invite to the Calgary Stampede to  punch some doggies and trade our black hat in for a white one. Like George W. Bush’s.

ObamaCowboy

I think we’ve got a good shot at it. After all, Big Guy and Mayor Nenshi have a lot in common, in addition to them both having funny names, they both Tweet!

Screenshot Studio capture #110Uncanny! Apparently Mayor Nenshi’s parents were trouble makers too.

And another similarity: Mayor Nenshi served as Grand Marshall for Calgary’s Gay Pride parade this year. Well OK, Big Guy didn’t really have time to be Grand Marshall at this year’s San Francisco parade, because he was way too busy trying to get America’s economy-car out of the ditch that the R-words drove it into. (No luck so far, butt don’t worry; we’ve got a plan. We just have to resolve that debt ceiling matter first.)

A little OT, butt I didn’t even know there was such a thing as gay cowboys until Broke Back Mountain set me straight. Although “straight” might not be the best choice of words here.

And then, imagine my surprise when I found out that there were  black cowboys too! And some of them were even gay! Goodness, I really do need to get my Old West pack updated, it’s a little provincial.

blazing_saddles-cleavon_littleClevon Little as Sheriff Black Bart in Blazing Saddles (one of the best non-politically correct movies of all time)

And speaking of cowboys, Big guy was busy  packin’ for our big trip to Montana this weekend, until the R-words dropped their soap in the shower and agreed to traipse over to the Big White and make Big Guy look like a Big Leader in the deficit reduction shell game.

Butt don’t feel too bad. We just started planning the fly fishing trip last week in order to have a vacation to cancel in order to show the American people how hard we’re workin’ to solve the budget and debt ceiling problem. Real Presidential vacays (Like Martha’s) are planned months in advance.

I won’t tell you what Big Guy thought he would be catching with his “fly fishing” rod. Butt JoeyB set him straight (there’s that homophobic word again…sorry). Big Guy’s never actually caught a trout, even though his staff marvels at his spinning and casting skills:

President Barack Obama tries out the fly fishing rod given to him on his birthday by a group of avid fisherman on his staff, August 4, 2009. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

And he is pretty good at catching flies:

obama fly(Literally. No double entendre, please).

I just hope we can get through the weekend without anymore of Big Guy’s histrionics. They haven’t been playing as well lately, even with our LSM. Butt you know how it is in the summer time: everyone gets all wee-weed up around here.

blazingSaddlesSheriff Bart threatens to “let the N-word have it.”

raise the debt ceiling or i'll make you sorry copy

“If you don’t raise the debt ceiling I’ll…I’ll… well, I swear, I’ll…. Wait a minute guys…you’re supposed to do what I say here.”

Like in the movie:

So, we “cancelled” our Montana vacay so people won’t get all wee-weed up when we vacate to Martha’s Vineyard next month for a little well-earned R&R. What a waste. We had our publicity stills ready to go and everything:

obama_smoke

blazing barry-crop-1Maybe we can use them at next year’s stampede. The one in Calgary.

Lady M is threatening to get involved in the budget talks this weekend too, because she doesn’t want to risk criticism for our  Vineyards vacay after America has gone broke. She’s actually pretty good at the negotiation table, coming from a long line of black cowgirls herself.

stagecoach maryMO’s great-great aunt, Stagecoach Mary LaVaughn, with her trusty companion. And her little dog Bo. 

So if those R-words don’t want Lady M to get her LaVaughn on (and trust me, they don’t) this weekend, they best come prepared to cave in and raise the roof.

 

mo cowgirl copy“I said raise the debt ceiling or I swear, I do the Dougie. Right here, right now.”

Great video of real American cowboys for those who, like me, love real cowboys!

Linked By: BigFurHat @ iOwnTheWorld, and  Red Square on The People’s Cube, Thanks!