Big Guy: Still in Charge of the Tribe

Another day, another crisis. This time it’s some malcontent over on American Thinker carping about some dumb letter Big Guy wrote back in his college days.

As I understand it, Cashill’s only legitimate complaint is that Big Guy had trouble with his subject/predicate agreement. Which as a criticism is really unfair because he was operating without a safety net back in his law school days: no one had a decent grammar checker until Word 2007. And even if they existed back then, what struggling law student could have afforded a TOTUS? So Big Guy didn’t have the opportunity to develop his dazzling oratory skills until much later.

And I don’t want to hear anything about BO needing both of TOTUS’ big screens for his surprise 3 minute read in the Rose Garden yesterday.

Note: no TOTUS in photo-op sightline

The surprise, of course, was that he wrapped up his read in three minutes flat – another historic first! Which is precisely why he needed both TOTUS Won and TOTUS Won-Too (super-wides, big screens with long range projection). Jamming so much critical information into a measly 3 minutes is not as simple as it looks. If you doubt me, just think back on some of our press conference answers.

Anyway, we strategically positioned the Giant TOTUSes so Big Guy could still read them, butt they would be out of the camera’s eye. Apparently we didn’t fool anybody though.

Big Screens, Little Man (TOTUS’ backside is almost as big as you-know-whose)

TOTUS lead Big Guy through his historically short read, reminding us that he (Big Guy, not TOTUS) is still in charge of the disaster response - Hurricane Czar Ninja Storm Hurricane Command Megazord reports directly to him, Supreme Commander. And he promised to hand out gobs of other people’s money to help out with the recovery.

Then we got around to the original point of the photo-op: the announcement of Big Guy’s replacement for current Chairman of his White House Council of Economic Advisers, Austan “The Ghoul” Goolsbee:

with Alan “Freddy” Krueger.

The word around the Big White water cooler is that Big Guy needed somebody who was willing to do a little budget slashing, in order to WTF in 2012. It looks like he made a good choice.

Butt back to yesterday’s crisis du jour: FOM and American Thinker author extraordinaire Clarice tweeted me a copy of Jack Cashill’s AT article, “Early Obama Letter Confirms Inability to Write” for review.

Well, Jack, Big Guy may not be able to write, butt surely your own lyin’ eyes can confirm that he can read! He even won a Nobel Prize for Readership.

That’s a solid B+

Anyhoo since, pbird posted the link to the article in yesterday’s thread, I’m sure you’ve all done your homework so I’m not going to go through old Jack’s findings. Suffice it to say, he did not give big Guy a B+ or anything close.

I’m going to take a bit of a different tack from the MSM’s usual “follow the heard” approach on Jack’s disclosure. I thought it might be more fun to run Big Guy’s letter through my always popular “I Write Like” app.

Those of you who recall my last use of the IWL analysis tool know that I downloaded the app from a link I found at Instapundit. I don’t want to sound whiney - and I know it’s hard to believe - butt I’m  STILL WAITING for my Instalanche! Anyway, back when I did it the first time I couldn’t get my hands on any of Big Guy’s writings other than his hugely successful books. I used “Dreams From My Father” and much to my surprise, the results indicated that Big Guy writes like Bill “Kaboom” Ayers.

In retrospect we shouldn’t have been surprised, because Big Guy (founder of the Ready Reserve Corp**) and Bill Ayers (Co-founder of the Weather Underground) have a lot in common: they both ascribe to a political philosophy that can be described as “spreading the wealth around,” they both support a Civilian Police Force that’s “just as strong, just as powerful and just as well funded as the military,” and neither has (or is that “have”? Maybe I should ask Big Guy) ever been charged or convicted of a felony (so far).

So I thought, what the heck, let’s run some of Big Guy’s earlier writings through the IWL app to see if he was writing like Billy even before they moved into the same neighborhood:

I would therefore agree with the suggestion that in the future, our concern in this area ia [sic] most appropriately directed at any employer who would even insinuate that someone with Mr. Chen's extraordinary record of academic success might be somehow unqualified for work in a corporate law firm, or that such success might be somehow undeserved. Such attributes speak less to the merits or problems of affirmative action policies, and more to the tragically deep-rooted ignorance and bias that exists in the legal community and our society at large.

 

Barack Obama
President, Harvard Law Review
Published November 16, 1990

Much to my surprise, the letter came back as being written like someone entirely different: this time it said Big Guy writes just like:

Lawrence Tribe!

Again, this shouldn’t have come as a surprise: Lawrence Tribe -Harvard Constitutional Law professor, judicial activist supporter, living Constitution proponent – seemed to have been simpatico with Barack Hussein Obama right from the start.

And apparently they still are:

Since the New Deal, the court has consistently held that Congress has broad constitutional power to regulate interstate commerce. This includes authority over not just goods moving across state lines, but also the economic choices of individuals within states that have significant effects on interstate markets. By that standard, this law’s constitutionality is open and shut. Does anyone doubt that the multitrillion-dollar health insurance industry is an interstate market that Congress has the power to regulate?

Can you say “Chief Justice Tribe?”

I would give you a Lady M update if there was one to give, butt she’s still pouting and spends most of her time with her diary. I think she’s writing her memoirs. Now THAT will be fun to run through my IWL app!

Insider tip: that’s not tea

Linked By: Granny Jan on iOwnTheWorld, Thanks!

Linked By: BASIL99 on Hillary Is 44, Thanks!