MOTUS A.D.: Pay no attention to the polls: Obama is slowing the oceans and healing the planet. Oh yeah, and “jobs, jobs, jobs!”

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pay no attention to the polls: Obama is slowing the oceans and healing the planet. Oh yeah, and “jobs, jobs, jobs!”

People everywhere are asking, “if Obama hadn’t been vacationing when it struck, would he have been able to save Washington D.C. from the devastation of yesterday’s earthquake?”

Documented earthquake damage in D.C. h/t jmckinley

As you recall, Big Guy arrived in Washington accompanied by high HOPE for his ability to cure all problems and avert all future disasters. These HOPEs were based primarily on the echo chamber reverberation of his own humble assessment of his abilities:

“The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations.

Reflection on the Won’s limitations

But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth.”

Last, best hope on earth?

So let’s – just for fun – do an inventory to date to see if those plummeting polls of Big Guy’s popularity are warranted:

Care for the sick, check – if by “care” you mean granny will be better off just taking the pain pill.
Good jobs to the jobless, check – if by “jobs” you mean “in China.”
Oceans began to slow, check – if by “slow” you mean “hurricane Irene.”
Our planet began to heal, check – if by “heal” you mean rupturing along fault lines that have been at peace for decades.
Ended a war, check – if by “end” you mean start another one butt refer to it as a KMA, “Kinetic Military Action”
Secured our nation, check – if by “secured” you mean debt topping 72% of GDP.
Restored our image as the last, best hope on earth…um…well, uh… maybe we can address that quaint notion in 2012.

Meanwhile, allow me to recap the last few days of on the Vineyard with the world’s last, best hope:

Sunday, Big Guy got dressed up in his business casual blue and brown uniform to announce the pending victorious end of his kinetic military action in Libya. It’s just a formality now, that Gadfly has left town as Big Guy directed him to do at the start of his KMA.

Posing naturally, in nature. Maybe we should use smaller props.

Critics, of course, are grousing about the fact that the Libyan draft constitution reportedly will look to the superior guidance of Sharia law for guidance in establishing its ruling principals. So it looks like that’s working out just swell.

I still remember how proud Lady M was when Big Guy stepped up to the plate while we were in Rio and racked up yet another historical presidential first. You remember that, right? Big Guy was the first president ever to declare a ~~war~~ kinetic military activity while on a wine tour.

To our KMA!

I sure don’t want to be the one to tell Lady M that Big Guy just helped establish another country she won’t be allowed to visit due to their no-bare-guns-on-babes law.

No right to bare arms in Libya’s future