42 days of “Vacation” and we’re still dealing with an Ass and a huge deficit:(Obama’s best speech ever without TOTUS)

First of all, let me make this perfectly clear: this Keith Koffler with his so-called “White House Dossier” is nothing more than a complete fraud. He has NO OFFICIAL connection to the Big White! Butt if you read his blog, he’d give you the impression that he has an office right down the hall from me. The man is delusional – which, I admit, might qualify him for a job around here, butt let me repeat: he’s a complete sham.

So pay no attention to his recent post about Lady M being on vacation for 1 day out of 9 for the last year. Pure garbage.

Let’s start with the time frame: August 2010 – August 2011. That is NOT our official vacation fiscal year. Due to the debt ceiling, we’ve cut the vacation fiscal year back to January thru June, and it’s retroactive. Therefore, data for the rest of the year is N/A. And that’s how you handle deficits. Are you paying attention Congress?

Secondly, he starts with our trip to Panama City, FL. last August.

Mrs. Obama’s vacations began in August 2010 with a two day weekend trip to Panama City, Fla., where the Obamas stayed overnight at a Gulf of Mexico hotel in a symbolic effort to show that the Gulf area was safe for travel in the wake of the disastrous BP oil spill.

Please! There were oil splotches there! Need I remind you of the reason for our trip? BP, oil splotches: do you honestly think we wanted to be there? Photo op, pure and simple. We even had our own food sent in from Washington.

Then he whined about our vacay on the Rock:

Next up was what has become an annual pilgrimage to ritzy Martha’s Vineyard, where the Obamas stayed 10 days and dined at several exorbitantly priced restaurants.

If Mr. White House Dossier really worked around here, he’d know two things:  1) “The President is never really on vacation,” and 2) we do not do “pilgrimages.”

Next, Hawaii, aka the “Winter Holiday Season White House”:

In December 2010, with President Obama delayed because Congress was still in town, Mrs. Obama decided to leave without him for their annual Hawaiian vacation, racking up at least $63,000 in additional costs because she travelled alone.

Since the president arrived late, he decided to leave Hawaii in January two days later than scheduled – resulting in a 17 day vacation for the first lady.

“No I’m not getting anything! I don’t eat fast food.”

Then Vail:

Everyone knows we hate snow. It has no flavor.

 Mrs. Obama went right back out on vacation the following month, taking a four day skiing trip in February of this year to Vail, Colo.

Need I remind you that this was part of Lady M’s campaign to save Americans from getting fat behinds? Have you ever even heard of our “Let’s Move!” initiative, Mr. Phony Dossier? Sheez.

On to our South American wine tour:

As if we wanted to go see the giant statue

In March, Mrs. Obama travelled to Latin America for a five day trip. I’m counting two days of this as vacation, though, because she took her children and her mother along, performed some sightseeing, and went to the beach.

In case Mr. Smarty Pants didn’t notice, we launched an entire Kinetic Military Action while we were in Brazil, so how can you consider any part of that tense trip a vacation? So, Mr. White House Dossier, KMA!

And FYI, our African trip was purely for humanitarian purposes:

Does this look as if anyone is having any fun?

And we had to eat fat balls! Eeeewwww!

The first lady went to southern Africa in June for six days in what was partially an official visit. Since Mrs. Obama took her mother, her children and their cousins along, since the trip was billed in advance as having personal significance for her, and since the travel included several tourist destinations and a safari, I’m counting half of the journey as vacation, or three days.

And then we hear about our most recent family visit:

Finally, Mrs, Obama took her mother and one of her children to visit her brother in Corvallis, Ore. this week. The trip was not announced by the White House and appears to have lasted four days.

This is just entirely unfair: we just got mad at Big Guy, who was acting like a complete ass, so we left for a few days to allow him to chill. Is it our fault that we can’t go home to Mom any more because she lives with us? Big bro was the best we could do and it’s not Lady M’s fault that he was forced to take a big time, well paying coaching job (so he could afford to pay a little more) all the way out in Oregon. He wanted to coach at Duke, butt they couldn’t get out of their current contract in order to accommodate him. So anyway, we’re back now, and it was hardly a vacation.

And as far as I can tell, we might as well have stayed home. Big Guy’s still acting like an ass. He was furious about all the mean things the R-words were saying about him in Iowa – a state he owns – so he had to go and shoot off his mouth too.

He should know better than to spout off without TOTUS. Butt like I said, he’s still acting like an ass.

 

And back to the “vacation” controversy: Mr. Sham-Dossier’s numbers are way off. By my records we’re actually operating with a vacation deficit, which we’re going to correct post-haste.

And I can assure you that we’ll have our deficit problem handled way before Congress even gets back to Washington to begin working on theirs.

H/T’s to Blonde Gator and SandraC  (hope you like the video embellishment) Thanks!

Linked By: Key West Reader on HotAir, Thanks!

Kicking Ourselves in the Ass

Last night at the R-words Presidential debate in Iowa, Herman Cain said “America has got to learn how to take a joke.” Boy, no kidding! Lighten up already!

This is a joke, right?

Of course the danger with that strategy is that once people start thinking of you as a joke, it’s hard to get them to take you seriously again. So we’re going to straddle that sensitive middle between levity and pontification.

Butt since we’ve reached TGIF without the world collapsing, and because we were talking about jokes, I’d like to pass this little gem along from Larwyn, who might have gotten it from Rodger King of France. She always has the best jokes, and I thought you might like to give your social network friends a reason to smile after such a gawd-awful week:

While on Air Force One, Big Guy looked out the window and said to Lady M, "you know, if I threw a $1000 bill out the window, I could make someone on the ground pretty happy."

Lady M replies, "if you threw out ten $100 dollar bills, you could make 10 people very happy."

Hearing that exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes, turns to his co-pilot and says, " I could throw them both out of the window and make the whole country happy."

That would be even funnier except for the fact that Big Guy’s already thrown a couple trillion dollars out the window, and nobody’s laughing. So I guess I see Herman’s point.

Note our new campaign slogan on AF Won: LIFT-A-LOFT. Unclear what it stands for, butt you’re free to guess.

Anyway,  BO went to Holland, Michigan yesterday for a photo op at a green battery factory that was funded by tax payers (you’re welcome, Johnson Controls). He reiterated one of his new campaign promises that "I'm not going to stop until every person in America who wants a job can find one." (Butt remember: “if you like your unemployment check, you can keep it.”)

Trotting it out at the battery plant

He went on to warn that cutting Medicare and Social Security to pay down the deficit would just make the economic crisis worse so we have to end tax subsidies for oil companies instead, so “every person in America who wants a job can find one."

Then, he took a page from Lady M’s Little Book of Hectoring and told the on-the-clock workers: “There are some in Congress right now who would rather see their opponents lose than see America win.”

Maybe Big Guy thinks we need to learn how to take a joke too. Because surely he knows that he just described his own team members, not the Tea Party who he was alluding to. Hee hee, now that’s funny, no? Our first Ironic President – that’s historical! No wait – I mean hysterical! Hee hee hee, I’m cracking myself up! God bless Herman Cain, he was soooo right! Can’t you take a joke America?

That’s a really BIG flag for such a little front man President

I feel that Big Guy’s really tapping into the zeitgeist now. Everyone’s looking for an ass to kick. No need to look too far.

Don’t let the ass kick you on the way out the door

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Blonde on NewsBusters, and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, Thanks!

Iftar, Shmiftar: We’re Off to the Vineyards

Hang in here with me: I’ve got a lot of political news to cover first, butt then I have a fashion scoop!

First, as you know – according to JJ yesterday – Big Guy “will not rest until he is confident that every American who wants a job can find a job.”

Working towards that end, BO’s off to Holland, Michigan today to tour a battery factory and read talk about how he and his magic wand (the EPA and DOT) just mandated that heavy trucks (big rigs and buses) must increase their fuel efficiency by 20%. Not only does that reduce our carbon emissions, butt figuring out how to do that should create or save a whole bunch of jobs – so we’ve got real synergy going here.

Then Air Force Won will drop him in New York City to attend two DNC fundraisers. And every time Big Guy visits anywhere we creates at least 2500 temporary jobs for people to close off streets and highways. Not to mention all the extra overtime hours for local police departments.

Last night of course was our first Big White Iftar dinner without Lady M, who voted “not present.” After last year’s “feast” she swore she would never attend another Iftar. The halal meal is a little short on ribs, so shortly after this year’s Ramadan menu was announced she decided to visit Coach Robinson in Oregon.

Whoops! This isn’t our Iftar – this is lunch with our volunteer fund-raisers at Ted’s Bulletin. Hey, I thought you were supposed to fast during Ramadan.

Anyway, Big Guy and TOTUS made a few remarks at the dinner. I’m beginning to think that he’s going a little deaf or at least tone deaf. He took the opportunity to address his predominantly Mooselim audience by talking about 9/11, and the Mooselims role in it.

Maybe it’s just me, butt I don’t see how this could be anything butt offensive to Mooselims and non-Mooselims alike. Butt like I said, maybe it was just me, Big Guy thought he was just being inclusive.

BO and Honest Abe host an Iftar dinner last night.

In the face of the stock market’s 3 week, $3 trillion dollar loss, so far, (1800 points! And that’s before the markets open today!) and the entire world in flames, Big Guy throws an Iftar and calls for everyone to  come together and pray? So it’s come to this. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to calm the market.

Anyway, after JJ announced that that BO won’t rest until you all have jobs, if you want one (if you like collecting your unemployment benefits, Big Guy will let you keep them), he announced Big Guy’s schedule for the rest of the month. August 15-17 is his Rural Bus Tour for WTF, followed by our annual WTF 9 day Martha’s Vineyard family vacation, which JJ points out isn’t really a vacation because the President can’t ever leave the job behind. Of course, he hasn’t always felt that way. Mr. Claire Shipman used to think that Presidential vacations were photo ops. Maybe the whole team could use a little refresher course in “how not to sound tone deaf.”

Butt now on to more important matters: fashion. More specifically, a fashion faux pas. And no, not on Lady M’s part: she was just the fashion victim, yet again.

I was just clearing out my hard drive from last month when I ran across this picture of Lady M announcing another one of her healthy food initiatives; Wal-Mart bringing organic veggies to urban food deserts.

If you look closely, you’ll see the fashion faux pas, and no, it has nothing to do with the lunch-lady dress that MO is wearing.

It’s the lady behind her:

Do you see it? Uh oh!

“That bitch stole my look!”

First seen on Lady M during our Latin American wine tour last March:

At first I thought maybe it was a hand-me-down from Lady M to one of her little people, butt then I realized she wore it again after the food desert blitz, when we went to church a couple of weeks ago:

Since I haven’t heard anything about this I’m going to assume that Lady M didn’t see the photo at the time either. And as I know she never notices any other people in her orbit, we (and that poor woman in the copy-cat dress) may be safe. As long as none of you mention it to MO in any of your many fan letters.

I guess it’s just the price you pay for being a fashion icon, imitation being the ultimate flattery and all. And since I know we’ve packed on a few extra lbs. since our Wine Tour, it’s also good to know that the new containment systems are working so well. They are constructed with a new, cutting edge steel-coated titanium thread which is considered a real miracle fiber. Although it is rather hot for this time of year. Butt Lady M has NASA working on that little problem too, since they have time on their hands now. This also saved or created at least another 2500 government jobs.

The Wons – are they a team or what?

Oh, and one last word on JJ’s press briefing yesterday: he also said “And I don't think Americans out there would begrudge that notion that the President would spend some time with his family.”

Boy - except for Pundette, who seems to think that our trip to a dinky little island, in a cottage that costs a measly $50K/week is a “ritzy vacation” - it really looks like that’s the truth: 60% of Americans vote to let Big Guy spend more time with his family.

click pic to embiggen

Linked By: JACK2011 on THE BLAZE, Thanks!

Obama-rama to launch Mitt-apocalypse

Corvallis, Oregon? Well, Marbella, Spain it’s not, butt it’s the best we could do under the circumstances.

The media seems to be waking from their 3 year slumber a bit, so we have to be a little more discriminating about how we spend our free time and your money. So it looks like we can’t take our customary August pre-vaycay vaycay this year without a lot of jibs flapping. So that’s why we settled for flying Air Force Won Two out to visit big bro, his skinny white wife and their Halfrican-American baby, who reminds Lady M of Big Guy – except for the red hair.

And  you can ignore the rumors about a tiff between Lady M and Big Guy; it’s really nothing more than the usual.

Anyway, with Lady M out of the house Big Guy and his team could finally focus on the important issues: strategies to WTF in 2012.

Big Guy’s team assumes that Mitt’s going to be the “contender” so they’ve drafted a plan for “Mitt-acopolypse” in which we’re going to destroy Romney by claiming he’s “inauthentic,” “unprincipled” and “weird.” Throw in “arrogant” “inexperienced” and  “gay” and we could have a veritable Obama-rama experience! This is going to be fun!

If we have to, we can also drag in that whole business about the secret Mormon underwear and the too-good-to-be-true Mormon hair.

Which  you have to admit is really more presidential than Wasp hair:

And the team is also considering using the fact that Mitt’s Dad was once brainwashed when he was running for president. They think this could be useful because they can contend that the apple never falls far from the tree - like-father-like-son and all. Although I’m not sure we want to head down that path.

Let’s review the Père et Fils similarities of Mitt and BO:

First, the similarities between Mitt and George

Birthplace:

George: Mexico! (looks like he couldn’t have been President even if he hadn’t been brainwashed!)

Mitt: Michigan

Education:

George: Autodidact (self-educated)

Mitt: BA Brigham Young; JD, MBA Harvard, cum laude (and there are records)

Occupation:

George: CEO, American Motors; Governor, MI

Mitt: CEO, Bain Capital; Governor, MA

Political Philosophy:

George: moderate conservative Republican

Mitt: moderate, moderate conservative Republican

Number of wives:

George: 1, (butt entitled to more)

Mitt: ditto

And now, consider the uncanny similarities between Big Guy and his doting father, despite the fact he wasn’t around much. Genetics are awesome!

Education:

BHO Sr.: Harvard educated (no records available)

BHO Jr.: Harvard educated (no records available)

Occupation:

BHO Sr.: government functionary (and community organizer)

BHO Jr.: government puppet (and community organizer)

Political Philosophy:

BHO Sr.: Marxist, anti-imperialist

BHO Jr.: Wild-ass Marxist and anti-imperialist

Birthplace:

BHO Sr.: Kenya

BHO Jr.: Kenya, by way of Hawaii

Marriages:

BHO Sr.: 2 or more

BHO Jr.: 1(to a member of the opposite sex)

Reggie Love, picking up Big Guy’s laundry

On second thought, maybe we’ll just leave that “like father like son” part out of the mix for now.

Downgrading our Second Term Odds?

America Downgraded(Friday), and Demoralized (Saturday): Speech at 1:00 PM (Monday).

No, make that 1:30. We’re still not sure what we want TOTUS to say about the debt downgrade. Or 1:52, we’re still spinning. Plouffee told Big Guy his henchmen can blame the Tea Party, butt he can’t actually go on TV himself and say that. Whatever. Here we go:

blah blah blah

We knew from the outset that a prolonged debate over the debt ceiling -- a debate where the threat of default was used as a bargaining chip -- could do enormous damage to our economy and the world’s.  (so… you did it anyway?)

Market starts tanking.

blah blah blah

Last week, we reached an agreement that will make historic cuts to defense and domestic spending.  But there’s not much further we can cut in either of those categories.

…still tanking.

But here’s what I also know:  There will always be economic factors that we can’t control –- earthquakes, spikes in oil prices, slowdowns in other parts of the world…  (…not my fault) 

Markets will rise and fall, but this is the United States of America.  No matter what some agency may say, we’ve always been and always will be a AAA country. (…denial alert – we aren’t AAA anymore)

…still tanking. And then, a note to acknowledge the devastating loss of our Seals, which was the only thing he intended to address yesterday, until his handlers made him throw in the debt downgrade to ease Wall Street’s jitters:

…this weekend, we lost 30 of them when their helicopter crashed during a mission in Afghanistan.  And their loss is a stark reminder of the risks that our men and women in uniform take every single day on behalf of their county.

Not to quibble butt it’s more of a reminder of the ultimate costs of fighting for freedom and liberty than the risks. Butt then, Big Guy has never understood risks all that well, which is why he didn’t get the whole “risk of downgrade” thing. And “freedom” and “liberty” are not  concepts that he completely grasps either. Butt then, you knew that.

“I’m done, now clean up the mess.”

So under the circumstances, I’d say he did his best. I’d give him a solid B+.

Whoops! The market just keeps tanking. It’s going to cost more than we thought to get re-elected. Which brings us to dinner.

With a whole boatload of money to raise, like, pronto, we’ve got to get on to fundraising.

Political fundraiser # 1 ($15,000 for a picture with the Prez), at the Washington home of Don and Katrina Peebles.

Don and Katrina Peebles

Don and Big Guy have a lot in common, in that they are both successful African Americans, raised without the benefit of a father in the house (although, Don did have the benefit of a concerned mother).

Butt unlike Big Guy, Don dropped out of college his freshman year and went to work, opening his first company when he was 23 and proceeded to work hard to build his billion dollar real estate development corporation. And look at that skinny blonde bimbo he married!

No wonder Big Guy’s President, and Don’s just a billionaire businessman, making more money than he needs. Anyway here’s what the suckers donors got for their dime last night:

Obama said by raising taxes on those who can afford it and making changes to entitlement programs the deficit could be contained in two or three decades. (wow!)

“It’s not rocket science,” the president said to about 140 donors who paid $15,000 per family to attend a fundraising event. The president criticized congressional Republicans for being unwilling to compromise on increasing revenue to rein in the deficit, saying they “just want to cut.” (duh)

Political fundraiser #2: dinner at the St Regis, where 60 (we used to have 160 people in the overflow room!) donors and “potential” donors gathered for Big Guy’s inspirational words:

At a dinner later in the evening with 60 donors and potential donors at the St. Regis Hotel in Washington, Obama said, “We’ve had a tough couple of weeks in the economy” and “too much of it was self-inflicted. It had to do with political paralysis here in Washington.”

“The challenges go beyond the stock market,” Obama told the standing-room crowd. “Corporate profits have been up. The credit markets have stabilized but what’s absolutely true even before these last couple days in the stock market is that recovery wasn’t happening fast enough.”

File that one under “duh”  too.

Bob, the E-Trade Baby has some parting thoughts:

concept h/t UpNorthLurkin

Linked by Blonde @ Newsbusters and Murray @ No quarter.Thanks!

Bo-nuts in the Organic Garden of Good and Evil

Good morning everyone. I don’t have time to do a regular post today due to multiple systems tests scheduled for this AM, butt I know how worried you’ve all been about Lady M.

To put your minds at ease I submit this photo evidence of her complete well being:

We’re returning from the extended birthday party at Camp David with a few relatives and close personal friends from Chicago. As you can see, everyone had a good time.

But still no sight of Little Bo, who had to stay home because someone claimed to have “allergies” to a non-allergenic dog. Bo stayed here with Little Mo and Raj. Don’t tell Lady M, butt they were “playing” in the organic garden and now it’s even more “organic.”

I raised Little Bo’s rating to a AAA+

I knew you would want me to.

And speaking of ratings, just a word on our manufactured weekend downgrade from S&P. It now appears that it was completely the work of the Tea Party! Wow! Those guys are really powerful! No wonder the Democratic Talking Points Underground has targeted them for a hit job.

Anyway, the important take away here is that Tiny Tim is still firmly ensconced in the money seat. Big Guy is still behind him.

At least 1000%

Linked By: Vanderleun at American Digest, and Blonde on NewsBusters,Thanks!

“Prepare to be amazed. After all, that is what I do.”

“Once upon a time…” Thus begins every beloved fairy tale, and they all end with “And they lived happily ever after.” I’m hoping that my re-telling of the Snow White fairy tale will do the same.

Granted, retelling old tales is not a new idea. Disney’s 1937 version of Snow White was actually the retelling of the Brothers Grimm tale  which in turn was a retelling of the ancient fairy tale of the Sleeping Beauty. And even now I hear that the Mouse House is planning yet another live action remake of their own, the working title: “The Order of Seven.” Which sounds more like the remake of Lord of the Rings to me. In related Movieland news, rumor has it that Disney is also planning a re-do of “The Greatest Story Ever Told” with Moses cast as the most Historic American President. Butt I can’t confirm that.

So anyway, I figured if Hollywood is free to “re-imagine” original tales, maybe I can “re-image” one as well, since I have some extra time on my hands while we’re “waiting for paint to dry,” if you get my drift. And to be honest, I’d feel a lot better if I could pick up a few  schekels here and there to drop in my piggybank. You know - just in case this debt ceiling/ratings drop mess turns into a full scale depression and government pensions are no longer the slam dunk of the slacker generation they once were.

Anyway, after doing a little research, I figured this fairy tale is right up my alley:

Before I begin our tale though, allow me to introduce my recast main characters:

Magic Mirror: *blush*  In the role of the magic mirror who’s unable to tell a lie - your humble civil servant, Moi!

“Prepare to be amazed beyond all expectations. After all it is what I do.”     

The Evil Queen: played by Big Guy. I know, this role is generally a female lead, butt there are those who would argue that BO certainly acts regal, and others who would attest to his qualifications, as he’s played the role of a queen before (thanks, Granny Jan, for all the investigative reporting). Also, throughout history, Satan has been portrayed by both male and female characters.

He may not look evil, butt behind the mask lurks a heart of darkness

Snow White: played by America, the (formerly) preeminent democracy in the entire history of mankind. Sure, she’s aging a bit, butt name someone better for the lead character role.

America: it is “We the People”

The Seven Dwarfs: played in today’s performance by the Seven Freedoms: Speech, Thought, Religion, Assembly, Expression, Choice and Association. All of whom have been diminished in size by a powerful, evil force identified only as “liberalism,” butt who are working hard to regain their former stature.

The 7 Rays of Liberty: protecting the 7 Liberties on 7 Seas and 7 continents.

Prince Charming: TBA. Auditions are ongoing, butt at this time  open only to Tea Party Members, as they are the only ones with the chops to play the part of of the official who can administer the kind of tough love Snow White/America needs to waken from her slumber (and please, no charges of racism because of America’s nom de plume; need I explain that this is an allegory?). This role, too, is non-gender specific, although I will mention that two of the leading contenders are female.

I know: It’s disappointing that Lady M doesn’t have one of the lead roles, she certainly was one of the early choices for the role of the Evil Queen butt Big Guy beat her out on the basis of his audition tapes fair and square. She is his under study however, in the event that Big Guy is unable to complete his commitment to the production for any reason.

Our tale opens as the Evil narcissistic Queen consults with his mirror:

Magic Mirror upon the Wall, who is the smartest and most articulate of all?

To which the mirror always answered truthfully:

Why, you my liege, of steel trap brain and silver tongue; strike the MSM completely numb.

Every day the Queen would repeat this inquisition, and every day he would get the same satisfying answer.

Until one day last week, when his daily navel gazing and rhetorical questioning resulted in this undesirable response:

Magic Mirror upon the Wall, who is the smartest and most articulate of all?

to which the Magic Mirror, because she cannot lie, had to answer:

Alas, my liege of metal brain and tongue, you now strike the MSM as completely dumb.

Where once they fairly defined the term “lackey” they too now think you’ve gone  a bit whacky.

Well, upon hearing that the Evil Queen flew into a rage. He assumed that Snow White, with her constant harping about how we were spending too much money, and taking on too much debt and sending all of the dwarfs jobs offshore, and taxing the citizens to death was the one who had removed his spell from the media.

He could not afford to have all of his lackeys waking up from their deep slumber, so he flew into action.

The Evil Queen summoned one of his crony capitalists and ordered them to disguise themselves as an impartial bond rater and poison Snow White’s debt rating with a concoction of political mumbo jumbo and Democratic talking points.

The poison coursed through Snow White’s veins, as she had willingly bit into the apple containing the poisonous credit rating. She instantly swooned, and fell into a deep sleep, temporarily allowing the Evil Queen to once again rule the world of public opinion with impunity.

To be continued...

Before I can finish my fractured fairy tale, I have to determine why Snow White  willingly took that first bite out of the poison apple.

I know that after the elections last November the R-words caved on the continuing budget resolution, saying that they still had 2 more bites at the apple (presumably to decline it’s poison flesh). Butt then, the budget debate (2nd bite) didn’t happen because Harry Reid’s house refused to put one on the table to be declined, and then the debt ceiling (3rd bite) debate turned into a rodeo instead of a shootout when Boner called Big Guy’s bluff, even after he warned him not to.

Butt still: who would take a bite from an apple proffered up by a terrifying old hag with evil eyes and who cackles like a jackal?

I’ve got to sort through some more of this stuff before I can craft a happy ending. Otherwise I won’t be able to sell my script to Hollywood, let alone the Tea Party.

So, I’ll get back to you as soon as I figure a way out of this very vexing dilemma.

In the mean time, let’s hope that the 7 Liberties maintain their vigil over our slumbering Snow White: