Our Agent Provocateur: Sex, Lies and Videotape

This is our official response to the Agent Provocateur Sales boosted by US First Lady Michelle Obama story: it’s not true. Honestly, how do you think Lady M could find $50,000 worth of merchandise to buy in a store that still sells hosiery?

seam and heel stockings: $50

And does this look like a containment system that would be of any use on our caboose?

 

I rest my case

The story is obviously a fabrication on all counts: bought and paid for by Agent Provocateur in order to boost sales. For one thing they claim Lady M went shopping with Sheikha Mozah bint Nasser Al Missned, Queen of Qatar. Ah ha! Mozah is not the Queen! Although she is referred to as “Her Highness” - just like Lady M - Mozah’s not a real queen either. The Sheikha Mozah is just one of the Sheik’s harem. So if they lied about that, they probably lied about everything else too.

And one last point: do you really think Lady M would go lingerie shopping with a skinny broad like this?

Sheika Mozah

So now that I’ve settled that public relations nightmare, let’s move on. Yesterday we found time for a little culture in our schedule and we went to the art gallery as a family. The Corcoran, which is currently hosting a very special exhibit:

30 Americans showcases works by many of the most important African American artists of the last three decades. This provocative exhibition focuses on issues of racial, sexual, and historical identity in contemporary culture ( because art that is simply a pleasant realistic or abstract reflection of the world is either a) pointless or b) racist.)

It explores how each artist reckons with the notion of black identity in America, navigating such concerns as the struggle for civil rights, popular culture, and media imagery. At the same time, it highlights artistic legacy and influence, tracing subject matter and formal strategies across generations.

In other words, it’s relevant.

 

                                                    Art, not a Nike ad

Likewise, Art, not a Nike ad

There are paintings, sculpture, photos and videos in the exhibition. I’m not sure which category to put New York artist Gary Simmons’ piece, titled Duck, Duck, Noose, “a distinctly unsettling sight: nine stools placed in a circle around a rope noose, with white hoods sitting on top of them…it’s an instant, visceral introduction to ‘30 Americans’.”

Sounds like a fun Sunday afternoon at the museum.

Anyway, we’ll be busy today, prepping for Lady M’s appearance on Jay Leno’s show tonight.  As you may know, Jay is  vegephobic; he claims he hasn’t eaten a vegetable since 1969, and has never had a salad. This should be fun! MO has been busy setting him up on her twitter:

"@JayLeno says he never eats vegetables…we'll see about that! #LetsMove to get Jay to eat some veggies on #TheTonightShow on 1/31!"

It’s too bad it’s winter and we can’t bring him some of our homegrown fennel from the Big White garden of good and evil…

or some of our delicious collard greens (shown here with Rachael Ray before she followed Lady M’s advice to eat more veggies and maybe have a little “rototilling” done.)

Rache, above, helping Lady M harvest veggies, June 2010…

and last week after following Lady M’s generous advice.

So, just for planning purposes, since we’re flying all the way to California to promote our No Child's Fat Behind program, we decided to go to a couple of campaign events that are, coincidentally, being held this week. And we’re going to drop in on our good friend Ellen DeGeneres on Wednesday – revisiting one of our most successful venues in the 2008 season of HOPE and CHANGE.

 

Little did we know at the time that shucking and jiving was the real campaign platform.

Anyway, I found this dress that I thought would be perfect for Lady M’s appearance on Jay’s show; it’s completely organic and totally recyclable in a soup pot – which would sooo appeal to our Greenie constituency.

She nixed it though: not formal enough. Just as well; I have no evidence that these vines can “contain” as well as titanium. We’ll just have to wait and see what MO thinks will be an appropriate frock for lecturing the late night talk show host on what to eat.

Step away from the chicken wings! I’ve brought you some nice arugula.

H/T: Clarice

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