MOTUS A.D.: JayMo and Mustang Sally: You Guys Just Bu-Rock My World!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

JayMo and Mustang Sally: You Guys Just Bu-Rock My World!

I’m too sexy for my skin, too sexy for my skirt, too sexy for my…

Sparkly gold top, tight, shiny (recycled) J Crew green skirt, bejeweled belt. Oh yeah! Big Guy may be “gorgeous” butt we are so hawt!

We’re talkin’ JayLo territory hawt!

Note the special color coordinated mic that Lady M is wearing: it’s good to be Queen

She chatted Jay up like the pro she is – covering everything from exercise, (kick boxing is one of MO’s favorite ways to release tension – hence the need for my bunker) to BO’s singing – and although MO said he sings all the time and has a beautiful voice, the Wee Wons are not impressed: “Anything we do is highly embarrassing.They just want us to be very quiet.” Out of the mouths of babes.

Then suddenly the JayMo conversation took a turn to the dark side: fruits and vegetables. Jay’s sworn enemies.

MO forced Jay to eat a veggie pizza…

apples dipped in Big White honey (don’t go there!) and sweet potato sticks with green sludge sauce.

Since turnabout is fair play, Jay made Lady M eat the one vegetable she’ll admit to hating: beets. It almost made her hurl, butt she managed to swallow. She should have dipped it in some of that famous Big White honey herself.

You can watch her involuntary reaction here if you insist:

"Ewww," indeed.

Over all, I think the taping went pretty well. Like everyone else who shows up on the Tonight show, Lady M was there to hype a couple of her projects – Big Guy’s reinstatement as Resident in Chief, and her soon-to-be-released book The White House Kitchen Garden. She didn’t come right out and say so, butt all proceeds from both projects will be donated to the Obama Foundation for Better Living, a 501c charitable trust.

Today we’ll be going grocery shopping in a food dessert and picking up a few clams at a couple of DNC fundraisers. Full report at 11.

Meanwhile, news from the R-word encampment: The Mitt-ster was the big, big winner in the Florida primary. You can tell he’s the favorite at this point, because Big Guy is already running against him.

Mitt, as you may recall, has Michigan roots (home of Big Guy’s car companies) His father – before he was Governor of the state – was CEO of American Motors back when the American auto industry was the Big Four rather than the Little Two and the Won. In case you don’t remember AMC, here’s one of their innovative little gems that might jog your memory - the Pacer:

The wide-bodied AMC Pacer, circa 1975

The extra-wide compact model was iconic in its day. Unfortunately, it’s day wasn’t much longer than that, although it was exported abroad for several years where it was embraced warmly. Here’s how the French promoted it in the 70’s:

Now here’s a car Lady M can really get her ~~butt~~ arms around!

Damn! The French can make anything sexy! Maybe Mitt should hire some Frogs to tart up his campaign a bit.

Butt I digress: I was going to tell you about Big Guy’s trip to the Washington Auto Show yesterday. He wanted to say hi to the CEOs of the two auto companies he personally saved with the American taxpayers money, and humbly accept their gratitude, expressed on behalf of the American people, yet again.

While he was there Bo checked out all of the innovative hybrid models made by his auto companies. But as is often the case with big game fishers, Big Guy was magnetically drawn not to the ones he landed, butt to the one that got away:

Whoa! Ford Motor’s Shelby Super Snake Mustang! 800 horse power harnessed under that hood!

Can your Chevy Volt do that Mr. President?

Not so much.

No? I didn’t think so. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to toss your extension cord in the trunk!

Anyway, I have it on good authority that BO will be highlighting his role as personal savior of the American Auto Industry in the upcoming WTF 2012 campaign. If anyone asked me, I’d advise against this “narrative” as people were just starting to forget how he screwed the bondholders in order to save the UAW’s pension plan.

You’re welcome. Signed, The American Taxpayers.

Probably because he’s pretty emotional about this, BO got a little tongue-tied at the Auto Show without TOTUS :

"The U.S. auto industry is back." "And," he added, "it's good to remember that the fact that there were some folks who were willing to let this industry die. Because of folks coming together, we are now back in a place where we can compete with any car company in the world."

We’ll work on syntax with TOTUS later. In the meantime, before worrying about competing with “any car company in the world,” I’d start worrying about competing with the one right here that got away.

Seriously, ask yourself: WWJ drive?