MOTUS A.D.: Seoul Searching for World Peas

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Seoul Searching for World Peas

Big Guy is busy in South Korea,

Big Guy’s apparently a big fan of Greg Gutfeld

coordinating international nuclear disarmament (with the exception of Iran and North Korea who get to build a few (more) because they’re underdogs, or something).

He forgot to tape his Saturday Weekly Address before he left, so I think someone on staff just spliced some old tape together and issued the “weekly address” for him from old recycled speeches:

restating his alleged energy position as “all of the above”

I traveled across the country to talk about my all-of-the-above energy strategy for America – a strategy where we produce more oil and gas here at home, but also more biofuels and fuel-efficient cars; more solar power and wind power and other sources of clean, renewable energy.

Big Guy’s green energy powered oil rig

repeating the oft repeated myth of America’s oil dependence:

But as I’ve been saying all week, even though America uses around 20 percent of the world’s oil, we only have around 2 percent of the world’s known oil reserves.

reiterating our need to spend more money to rebuilt our roads and bridges, and more importantly, getting some of our construction workers back to work, in order to keep this “recovery” “going.”

We’ve got crumbling roads and bridges. A power grid that wastes too much energy. An incomplete high-speed broadband network. And we’ve got thousands of unemployed construction workers who’ve been looking for a job ever since the housing market collapsed.

We can always use a few more bridges to nowhere

blaming the do-nothing (Republican) Congress:

But once again, we’re waiting on Congress. You see, in a matter of days, funding will stop for all sorts of transportation projects. Construction sites will go idle. Workers will have to go home. And our economy will take a hit.

and then, the standard wrap up:

So tell Congress that if we invest in new technology and new energy; in new roads and bridges and construction projects, we can keep growing our economy, put our people back to work, and remind the world why the United States is the greatest nation on Earth.

Maybe we’ve lowered the bar, butt we’re still #1!

So while Big Guy continues his soul-searching in Seoul:

and demonstrating his recommended replacement for nuclear arms:

Activating the deadly marshmallow launcher: part of the new age of civility “scorched earth” policy.

Lady M will be in Washington, planting our Victory Garden (historical aside: it’s the first Big White Victory Garden since Eleanor Roosevelt’s during WWII).

Of course the real question is “who will we wear this year?” Jimmy Choo is always popular:

Butt we’ll just have to wait and see if it’s boot weather or more of a purple Converse sort of day.

Anyway, it’s one of the most anticipated events of the year around the Big White, bringing together many of the things closest to M’s heart: Let’s Move! Let’s Eat Healthy! Let’s Get Some New Clothes! (that last one’s not part of our official roster of Lady M causes) So we surely didn’t see this cheap shot from the home team coming:

First Lady Michelle Obama plants her spring White House garden on Monday, and in this election year is inviting guests from crucial battleground states President Barack Obama needs to win in November.

This is the fourth year of the wildly popular garden; the first time it has been turned into a blatant political tool...By inviting children to the telegenic garden planting from crucial states, the Obama re-election team increases the chance of local media coverage of an upbeat event with the popular Mrs. Obama.

Just because we’re sewing the seeds of our historic reelection in the Organic Garden of Good and Evil, that doesn’t give Ms. Sweet the right to make partisan, racist comments like that.

So I guess that just makes it official: the silly season of Presidential politics has commenced. That’s okay though: we came here to play.

So we’ll be blocking and running interference from here to Chicago and back.