MOTUS A.D.: This Week’s Biggest Loser Looks Like…Big Guy!

Friday, March 30, 2012

This Week’s Biggest Loser Looks Like…Big Guy!

Both Big Guy and Lady M will be busy sacrificin’ all through the weekend: shaking down the 1% in an effort to try to make ends meet.

Apparently this week’s email barrage from Joey B, John. F. Kerry, Jim Messina, Lady M, and Big Guy himself hasn’t shaken enough change out of your pockets to make our historic first quarter fundraising quota. It was a shock to learn that we can’t run our WTF campaign on deficit spending. Staffers expect paychecks come Friday, and media ads won’t run if there’s a past due account balance. Butt that’s ok, it just means we have to get back to doing what we do best: takin’ it to the streets.

If you have “a gift” you should use it.

This week’s really big bucks will be coming from Lady M’s San Francisco appearances. Whereas Big Guy’s doing clean-up duty in New England, MO will be spending her time more effectively: she’s going to where the real 1% live:

First Lady Michelle Obama is headed to San Francisco this weekend where she hopes to squeeze plenty of cash from members of the 1 percent so that her husband can secure reelection and help the 99 percent.

The First Lady will swing through the city on Friday night for a fundraiser at the California Academy of Sciences, where it will cost you at least $500 to get in the door. Or if you have tons of money to throw around, you can get your photo taken with her for $5,000.

A “co-host family” who is willing to pay $35,800 will get to join a private reception with Obama, and will receive a family photo with the First Lady. What’s more, they will also will have a family photo taken with President Barack Obama when he makes another visit to the Bay Area, whenever that is.

I haven’t read her speech yet, butt I assume it will include the usual rundown of Big Guy’s accomplishments (Obamacare is still on the list for the time being) along with the standard appeal to re-elect BO because both he and Lady M can really empathize with people going through tough economic times.

Moochy, in the sky with diamonds

Not that anyone at Friday’s soiree really cares about that, butt they like to think they’re voting for somebody who does.

So if you’re anywhere near the San Francisco area today, and you want to help WTF, please stop by with your checkbook. There will be champagne and snacks too.

Now, because It’s Friday, let’s do our weekly roundup of “biggest losers” for your consideration. Because there are so many entrees this week, let’s get right to it:

First up, Big Guy:

Not just the the Big Zero pose in Ohio

and the hand holding in Seoul,

“What? No, nothing to see here, move along.”

But I’m afraid the thing that landed Big Guy on the top of this week’s “biggest loser” list was that really bad showing in front of the Supremes by his hand selected solicitor general, as well as his appointed tutor.

h/t Clarice

That one took a little of the sheen off and pretty much killed that magic tingle thing we had going on.

Of course there’s our perennial candidate in this category - Joey “only-a-heartbeat-away” Biden:

“I really wanted to be a fireman, until I found out how much work it was.”

Vice President Joe Biden offered a frank assessment of his career in remarks at a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago Thursday night. According to a White House pool report, Biden, surrounded by the city’s movers and shakers, praised former Mayor Richard M. Daley and then said: “I never had an interest in being a mayor ’cause that’s a real job. You have to produce. That’s why I was able to be a senator for 36 years.”

and Joey, again:

“I’ve watched him make decisions that would make another man or woman’s hair curl,” Biden told the crowd of 150 inside the Italian Community Center in Milwaukee, according to a pool reporter on scene.

and one last time, Joey, take it away:

Unclear if Joey even knows the definition of “straightforward.”

Vice President Joe Biden, speaking to supporters at a fundraiser in Milwaukee, Wis., said that only Franklin Delano Roosevelt faced problems with more dire consequences during his presidency than President Obama.

“No president, and I would argue in the 20th century and including now the 21st century, has had as many serious problems which are cases of first-instance laid on his table. Franklin Roosevelt faced more dire consequences, but in a bizarre way it was more straightforward,” Biden said.

I know we need the cash, butt seriously, maybe we should give Joey the weekend off to, uh, regroup.

Then, of course there are all the newly deputized Justice Brothers (and Sisters) who have weighed in with their 2 cents worth (and overpriced at that) on Trayvon; thus doing their bit to encourage the lone wolf vigilantes along with the angry mob. There are, literally, too many of these ~~idiots~~ social commentators to mention, butt here are the leading contenders so far – along with the originals in this category of course:

Jesse and Al, the original Race Baiters, and still the best

Big Guy (“if I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon”)

Really? WTF?

Spike – although he did apologize to the McLain’s whose address he tweeted out erroneously:

He just wishes to say that it had been George’s real address, because that would have been the righteous thing to do, man.

Roseanne, another twit, for tweeting out George Zimmerman’s parents correct address. I understand they are Catholic and/or a “White Hispanic” mirage. (Updated H/T: clarice & Fausta thanks girlfriends!) Isn’t that a hate crime?