MOTUS A.D.: It’s Tax Day and We’re Filling our Coffers: 2 Ways

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

It’s Tax Day and We’re Filling our Coffers: 2 Ways

Rise and shine!

April 17 is tax day! Do you know where your Secretary of Treasury is?

Keeping the pencil sharpened

Just in case he has to actually use it

If you’re into irony (and who isn’t, these days?) you’ll want to put this one into your tax file: Tax day was extended from the traditional April 15th due to it falling on a Sunday (a perfunctory nod to our Christian founders) AND…because yesterday was EMANCIPATION DAY in Washington D.C.!

Adding another rich layer of tax irony, the Senate yesterday rejected the Buffett Rule – a tax intended to – are you ready? - make America more fair! Which of course isn’t fair (that the rule was defeated I mean). The minority (R-words) shouldn’t be able to stand in the way of Democratic fairness like that. Big Guy weighs in:

One of the fundamental challenges of our time is building an economy where everyone gets a fair shot, everyone does their fair share, and everyone plays by the same rules. And I will continue to push Congress to take steps to not only restore economic security for the middle class and those trying to reach the middle class, but also to create an economy that's built to last.

Boy, how many times are we going to run that one up and down the toll road?

Anyway, so Big Guy’s got that going for him: the R-words voted against the political manipulation of the Buffett Rule. They voted “nay” on making life fair. So we’ll focus on that instead of the economy, jobs, jobs jobs!, the grandkids’ bone crushing deficit, the Solyndra scandal, the Fast and Furious scandal, the GSA scandal, etc., etc., etc…

Living large; it’s TOTALLY fair… because we WON!

Lookin’ fly, now that we’ve finally got our fair share

Butt while we’re on the subject of emancipation, do you want to know who hasn’t been emancipated? Yes,it’s true: unfortunately Little Bo remains in servitude. In fact, due to his cuteness factor, his anniversary has been commandeered by Jim Messina to raise money for our historic reelection. Warning: Little Bo Abuse alert!

I know that dogs are known for their effective begging techniques, butt I think this disgraceful display of canine species stereotyping is not only exploitative, butt borderline racist. And I blame Jim Messina – after all, he is the campaign “talent” around here.

I’m sorry, I just think that maestro Messy has gone a bridge too far this time. I know he’s under a lot of pressure to fill the coffers, butt still - I think you’ll agree with me - this sort of thing just ain’t right:

Big BO and Little Bo – eeeuuuu!

Sorry Jimbo, you’ve just got to find other ways to get people to “pony up.” Have you considered using the donkeys instead? I mean, this is the sort of thing they’ve been bred to do. And personally, I think lots of people would be very attracted to the traditional democratic mascot:

Donkey Love: aka “My Little Donkey”

And not to be mean or anything, butt have you actually seen our Campaign Manager? I mean, I would think he’d be a little more sensitive about being exploitative. Jimmy; he makes Howdy Doody look like a real boy.

Look, I know he’s a genius; still, this exploitation has got to end. It’s just not fair.

Butt as long as we’re committed to exploitation in the service of getting Big Guy reinstated, I’ve got a great idea! How about a new campaign contribution contest:

Guess which one is the real boy, and which one is the dummy!