Where Is All This Hostility Coming From?

Four words of the day:  Lies, lies, damned lies. (h/t Juno)

My, my my! Where is all this hostility coming from?

Exhibit 1, from Jack Cashill: What Does “Composite Girl” Tell Us About Obama in which we are told:

“the real problem with Dreams is the inexcusable dishonesty throughout the book.  The promiscuous use of composites is merely a symptom of the larger problem.”

Why doesn’t he just come right out and call Big Guy a liar?

Oh wait. I guess he just did.

Not lies, compressions, see the difference?

And then there’s this: General Jack Keane, the former Vice Chief of Staff of the Army claiming that Big Guy knew the specifics of OBL’s location for months before deciding to pull the trigger!!?!

Wow! Why doesn’t he just come right out and say Big Guy’s incompetent!

Oh. I guess he just did.

So I tell you what: let’s change the subject. How about we talk about that ever decreasing unemployment rate! Elizabeth MacDonald reports:

The Bureau of Labor Statistics says the unemployment rate is dropping, and fell from 10% in October 2009 to 8.2% now. That’s got the White House and media pundits saying an economic recovery has taken place, and that the President’s stimulus bill, which cost more than $750 billion to date, has driven unemployment down towards 8% as promised.

However, the unemployment rate is the number of people out of work but who are actively looking. The government doesn’t count in that rate the now 6.3 million who have given up and stopped looking for work, but want jobs. That number has grown from 5.7 million in January 2009.

So, this "improvement" in the unemployment rate is artificial -- it was due to workers giving up and dropping out of the labor force.

Well for goodness sake, what’s her point? Just because the actual number of jobs the economy is losing every month is greater than the number being “created”  doesn’t necessarily mean that our unemployment numbers are lies, does it?

Oh. I guess it does.

“What’s important is the broader trend. Since President Obama took office, America has lost a net 740,000 jobs. But during the first 30 months of President Ronald Reagan’s economic recovery, which started in December 1982, total U.S. employment increased by 8.9 million jobs.”

Anyway, back to the Democratic Caucuses in Michigan last Saturday: you may have seen bringsdogstowork’s comment that the link, which originally stated Please bring a photo id had been changed to read "Please bring an id (photo id is not required.)"

In the interest of complete transparency, and just so there’s no confusion as to who’s lying to whom, I thought I should publish Big Guy’s Big White Government Sanctioned (isn’t that illegal?) email that Raj received regarding Saturday’s event:

So I guess maybe they were just getting some flak from the social justice squad regarding the requirement to flash a photo ID, and decided to correct the errors of their way.

An aside: I really love the way Team Obama’s Technogeek Field Technology Unit is able to zero in on where all our loyal supporters are located and personally direct geographically specific information in real time to them. Don’t you? It’s sort of like Big Brother watching you, only better.

Anyway, enough about me. Did you see the news from across the pond this weekend? In a surprising move, socialist France elected a full socialist president. So Sarkozy and the previously lovely Carla are now going to have to find their own quarters, complete with a nursery and nanny’s quarters. Boy, that’s going to cost a pretty penny given the state of the French economy!

Incoming leftist Francois Mitterrand Hollande will be arriving with his baggage and live-in, uh, Grand Dame, shortly. Whereas they are not married it’s unclear at this point just what Ms. Trierweiler will be called. It could be worse though, Francois could have had a same sex partner in which case the traditional ‘Première Dame’ may or may not have been appropriate. I hope they straighten this out soon, it’s clear we can’t continue with the long standing traditional ways and titles.

After all, traditional marriage is so last century. And irrelevant. If you don’t believe me just ask Joey B: it means absolutely nothing anymore. Or anything. Whatever you want it to be, or not. Who do you love? That’s all.

Butt just because Mitterrand Hollande didn’t marry the woman he cohabitated with for 30 years and had 4 children by doesn’t mean he won’t marry his new mistress, Valarie Trierweiler:

Victorie! Francois and his Rottweiler

Although the fact that Ms. Trierweiler once slapped a male colleague for making a “sexist” remark probably augers against there being one of those old fashioned sexist rituals taking place in the Elysee Palace –  now known as the temple of Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité and European Socialism!

Big Guy’s totally cool with that. And it will be nice to have a fellow traveler along for the upcoming G-8 and NATO summit.

So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the official title for the little French Rottweiler will be.

All I know is there hadn’t better be any more doggie jokes at the upcoming G-8 meeting.

That includes you, Joey! And put that rotty pup down!

Anyhoo, I understand that the French Rotty had a major hand in the transformation of Hollande: turning the bland political wannabe from a quite ordinary little party functionary into the lightweight contender and title winner that his is today. Since Valarie has a media background she knows how important the right kind of media coverage is when dealing with mediocre talent.

             

One of these two mediocre talents should be able to take advantage of the other’s.

It’s just like H. L. Menken said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the French public."  No wait! That’s a lie! Well, a joke really - he was talking about the American public!

Butt don’t worry: we’re all in on the joke now.

Linked By: sb on Weasel Zippers, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and basil99 on Hillary Is 44, and Smartmouthwoman on Political Forum, and rocker124 on The Last Refuge, Thanks!

A Hoarse of a Different Color

Today’s four words: One. Big. Ass. Moon.

Saturday was a killer: we campaigned to the point of hoarseness. That’s hoarse - with an “a.”

A horse is hoarse, of course, of course

I know - it was derby day, so it’s easy to get your horse’s asses confused: they all look the same from the rear. Butt let the record reflect: I’ll Have Another won, and My Adonis was scratched. I wouldn’t read anything into it though, because frankly, nobody really needs Another. And everyone knows these horse races are rigged.

Which reminds me, I see that, in addition to the War on Women, the R-words have now launched a War on our Lapdogs too. What next – a demand to show a photo ID to vote?

Little Bo, briefing our Lapdogs

Anyway, the R-words launched this war a long time ago:

It became more important and fashionable for a majority in the media to protect their lifestyles against the right-wing horde descending upon them, and to assuage their guilt, rather than comprehend what was happening around them or the controlling agenda they unwittingly supported.

Thus, the coverage of news stories concerning conservative issues or politicians became notable for vitriol and deliberate slanting or omission of facts. Polls, commissioned by the media and easily manipulated, were substituted for news and real reporting…(snip)

This 45-year evolution of the mainstream media culminated in the election of Barack Obama, who on the surface fulfilled all the requirements of an ideal presidential candidate for the chattering class. He was one of them --  Ivy League-educated, well-spoken, attractive, and capable of saying all the right things designed to appeal to the myopic worldview of the New York-Washington media axis. But above all, he was African-American, an opportunity to wash away the collective guilt so embedded in the psyche of the press.[ed. and, as it turned out, a good deal of the rest of the nation as well]

 

Butt since today is National Lemonade Day (really), let’s give the lapdogs the benefit of the doubt and just say they’re trying to make lemonade out of all the lemons they’ve been sucking on for a couple of years. Cripes! We haven’t had a really good jobs report in what – 39 months? So they have to do the best with what we give them:

 

 Like Weasel Zippers, I, too, will go out on a limb and say…uh, no.

 

So let’s talk about something a bit more upbeat: our big launch of the READY TO GO -FORWARD campaign in Columbus yesterday. Yay! Do I hear a “FIRE UP!”?

 

Here a policeman stands guard in case there’s an “overflow” crowd and they need to use the balconies. They didn’t.

The last time Lady M and Big Guy campaigned together in Ohio was in October of 2010, remember? Before the Tea Party swept a gazillion conservatives into office? So yesterday Lady M decided to get a little more dressed up for the rally. Although I don’t really think she can blame her sartorial choice for the drumming the Dems took in 2010. It may have been a bit, uh, unconventional, butt I’m unaware of any political contest that has ever been lost because the FLOTUS wore her blouse backwards.

     

Let’s just say it would have been a confusing choice for launching the campaign we’ve now decided to dub “FORWARD.”

Big Guy, on the other hand, chose to wear exactly the same thing he did last time.

Why size matters

2010 (l) 2012 (r): Say! That’s not a shift is it…to the right?

 

Butt say - that reminds me! Did you all see the “super moon” last night!? Awesome!

 

Butt I digress. As I was saying, BO wore his lucky casual-day outfit: navy blazer, light blue shirt, brown slacks, brown shoes. He did change his rhetoric up a little though. We’re still all about HOPE and CHANGE, butt he didn’t mention George W. Bush by name this time when he blamed everything on the previous administration. So that’s a step FORWARD.

Columbus, 2010 and 2012. Still in step! Still READY TO GO! FORWARD!

Oh, and just one other news item of note before I’m off: yesterday was Democratic Caucus day in Michigan. Don’t worry, the Preezy of the United Steezy won the delegation in a breezy. What was interesting though was this reminder to the delegates be to be sure to bring their photo I.D.!

Things will get started at 9 a.m. and the registration to vote at the caucus ends at 11 a.m. You must be 18-years old or older, registered to vote (or be eligible to vote in the November election and willing to pledge that you will register to vote by then) and in line by 11 a.m. to vote. You will be asked to sign a statement saying your are participating as a Democrat. Please bring a photo id.

Because winging it is good enough for general elections, butt we can’t have any interlopers sneaking into the Michigan Democratic Caucuses.

Only lapdogs need apply.

I understand there are butts here that need to be sniffed.

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Zeitgeist: The Reunion Tour

Today’s four words: compression, composite, communism, compost. In no particular order.

I know it seems like we’ve already had a gazillion fundraisers to WTF. Butt as I’m sure you recall, the show doesn’t start till the dummy says so:

Howdy Messina announces the big round-up

So now it’s officia : Howdy Messina says we are finally “READY TO GO” now that we have our new campaign slogan, “FORWARD.” That will be nice for a CHANGE. Anyway, we’re “kicking off” our 3 1/2 year old campaign for reelection today! And naturally we’ve picked two colleges full of ready-recruits to do so: Ohio State and Virginia Commonwealth.

Since none of our economic plans are really getting us anywhere, we’re letting our cracker jack techno-team take over to reenergize the boots on the ground effort. The technogeeks will be at the rallies in full force armed with gizmos to zap personal information from anyone within 50 yards of the Jumbotrons that are set up to flash personal comments and pictures from supporters all across the country – how cool is that?

Naturally, because we are so cool, you can follow the events on Twitter, Facebook, and www.barackobama.com from anywhere; and special web sites will be set up for rally-goers to “check in” on other social networks to let their friends and family know where they are! (And to let mom know when they’ll be dropping their laundry off.)

Plus, if you sign up today you can get future text messages right on your phone! From Big Guy’s campaign! How fun is that! So, if you don’t have anything else to do on a beautiful spring weekend, be sure to sign in and follow the fun! Both Big Guy and Lady M will be there. Notice: if you sign up we will  have access to your cell number and by law can badger you for 90 days to donate additional money to help get Big Guy elected to  Czar for life.

Even Joey B is getting in on the fun: he sent a campaign e-mail to supporters yesterday too:

“This is pretty cool,” Biden wrote. “Messages from supporters across the country will be broadcast on the big screen live during the event.”

Yeah, it’s called “texting.” It’s really cool, it’s like talking, only with text.

Of course others in Big Guy’s administration aren’t as excited about the new techno-campaign:

 

So it’s going to be a really fun day! In addition to our kickoff pep rally, it’s also Cinco de Mayo. Unfortunately, due to today’s campaign scheduling conflicts we had to celebrate this undocumented Mexican holiday on Tres de Mayo. And Lady M wasn’t able to join the festivities this year due to one of her “sick headaches.” It must be the pressure of the campaign. It gets to everyone eventually.

OK then.

It’s also Kentucky Derby Day – or “Mint Julep day” as we call it around here, so the Pim’s cups, juleps and Margaritas will be flowing on Air Force Won on all legs of the trip.

Butt did you know that today is also Karl Marx’s 194th birthday? That’s right, we’re officially kicking off the WTF campaign on the birthday of the original Redistributor-in-Chief! You might say that Uncle Karl was the godfather of “compression” too since he invented the concept of taking a whole bunch of stuff from society’s producers and compressing it into a much smaller bunch of stuff. That compressed stuff can then be redistributed to the dear leaders of the Occupiers and the rest of the little people as the leaders see fit.

Because nothing is as useful as a good class war in classless society

So far it hasn’t really worked out that well – either communism or compression - butt then, we’ve only been trying it for 150 years or so.  We’ve just been waiting for the right person to come along.

 

And sure enough, along came Big Guy; and he even told us that he was the one we’ve been waiting for. Or watching out for, depending on your viewpoint.

“Modern bourgeois society, with its relations of production, of exchange and of property, a society that has conjured up such gigantic means of production and of exchange, is like the sorcerer who is no longer able to control the powers of the nether world whom he has called up by his spells.”

TOTUS YOU ARE SO IN TROUBLE!

Oh. hee.  TOTUS was just effing with me. Apparently that’s not the speech BO’s giving at the FORWARD rallies today. That’s actually from a little tribute speech he’ll be delivering to a small, private group of friends and supporters later in the day commemorating Uncle Karl’s birthday. (closed press).

 

Butt speaking of the proletariat: one last comment on Lady M’s stunning color block frock from Monday. I’m sure you know that it was a one of kind custom job from the Preen spring collection. In its prêt-à-porter version it runs about $1300; customizing kicks it up a bit, say 3-4 times that. Butt even so - compared to Ann Romney’s $900 off the rack blouse - Lady M got a whole dress (well, except for the arms)! I’d have to say that’s much better value. So while Ann remains “tone deaf” in America, Lady M, like Big Guy, is definitely tuned into the zeitgeist of America.

Something no doubt Karl Marx could relate to. Zeitgeist that is, not $1300 frocks.

 

      

Variations on a theme from Preen

For the custom-made version, you get a custom-made fit

Customizing is definitely the way to go, if you can afford it, because your frock is personally tailored to fit. So even if you do have to pay for it, which of course we don’t, it’s worth it.  And please note: at least we didn’t get the more fashion forward peekaboo torso version; that’s how you can tell the campaign has officially kicked off. 

And while I’m on the subject of fashion and zeitgeist (don’t you love that word?) here’s another recent example of how Lady M rocks that whole designer dressing on your budget thing:

         

The runway version of the Naeem Kahn gown, and Lady M’s customized gown

And don’t fret about how much that gown that Lady M wore for the Washington Correspondent's Dinner cost you: all of MO’s one-of-a-kind frocks priceless.

h/t Charlie

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and Zilla of the Resistance on twitter,and PM Daley on twitter, Thanks!

Big Guy’s Dolls, take 2: Paper, Blowup and “Composite”

Let’s start Friday off with a little traveling music. Today’s theme: Gurl-friend!

To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before: Willie and Julio

I know you’ve all heard about Big Guy’s second composite girlfriend by now: #Julia, who is being exploited like crazy over at #Compositewoman. It looks to me like a blatant continuation of the Republican War on Women.

For one thing there are a lot of offensive jokes flying around over there, like this one: “What’s the difference between a composite girlfriend and a pit bull? I already told you: a pit bull is delicious.”

Rhambo: #1 pit bull

  Delicious!

And all the stupid tweets that everyone has been posting are not helping either.

 

Meet Julia, BHO’s composite white girlfriend!

Here’s what we know about Julia so far: when she grows up, she’s liberal, slutty, large bosomed, completely malleable – did I mention liberal?

As it turns out, BO’s “original” (pre-Julia) “composite” girlfriend  from “Dreams” was  actually a “compression” of Big Guy’s imagination. Good thing the girlfriend was white though, because that kind of “compression”  might be considered racist had he “compressed” black women that way.

Stereotyping the Angry Black Woman: Racist!

Butt the girlfriend compression (GFC) – along with Big Guy’s preference for angry black women (boy, that explains a thing or two!) - is just the tip of the iceberg. The other revelations in David Maraniss’ new Big Obama Book are beginning to make the cabal that placed the turtle on the post veddy, veddy nervous – if you know what I mean. Could their composite “Barry Sotero-Baraka-Barack-Buh-rock Obama” be coming undone?

Yet, make no mistake, this is a dangerous book for Obama, and White House staffers have been fretting about it in a low-grade way for a long, long time — in part because it could redefine the self-portrait Obama skillfully created for himself [ed. with an assist from “some guy in the neighborhood”] in 1995 with “Dreams from My Father.”

The success of “Dreams” has given Obama nearly complete control of his own life narrative, an appealing tale that has been the foundation of his political success. But Maraniss’s biography threatens that narrative by questioning it [ed. odd, isn’t it, that nobody in the MSM thought to “question” that narrative in “Dreams” for the first 18 years following its publication? I mean, since Big Guy ran for president and everything?]: Was Obama’s journey entirely spiritual and intellectual? Or was it also grounded in the lower realms of ambition and calculation? [ed. You mean like Jimmy Carter?]

Danger! Danger! Danger! Do not pay any attention to that man behind the curtain!

Certain people are beginning to grow suspicious that Big Guy, as we know him, is made up completely of, uh, “compressed” memories of god-like legends. This of course has led some people to start questioning those funny scars on his scalp again,

                        

and has others citing the neck scars,

and pins:

The “Compressed” President                 h/t ElizabethinTexas

All of which raises the specter of a Manchurian Candidate once again.

Enough with the dog jokes, ok?

Me, I’m suspect of the big ears. Normal people don’t have ears that big do they?

Butt back to Mr. Maraniss’ book:

“This book is about the world that created Barack Obama and how he refashioned himself,” Maraniss said in a Vanity Fair interview that accompanied excerpts of the book Wednesday. “I have done extensive research for all of his years leading up the White House…”

So I’m just wondering why nobody else thought to do this – “extensive research,” I mean, before the last presidential election? I hate to say it, butt this does give legs to that whole turtle-on-post cabal conspiracy theory. Say! Maybe David Marannis can look into that three years after the next election!

Anyway, since the first GFC worked out so well in real life, Big Guy’s crack campaign team thought “why not a GFC for the campaign too?” And that’s how #Julia came to be.

We do seem to be getting a little blowback along the lines of “Who the hell is “Julia” and why am I paying for her whole life?” Butt the real issue, as pointed out by Fausta, is that Julia was born 3 years ago and at a projected age of 67, Big Guy is still President.

That would make Big Guy what? 114? Goodness! That Obamacare must be working out really well! Even so, at that point he really will look like Morgan Freeman!

         

Until then, I guess we’ll all just have to live out our fantasies as best we can.

Miss Me Yet?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Temple of Mut, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Blonde on NewsBusters, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, and BadBlue, Thanks!