If you like your economy, you can keep your economy-UPDATED

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: This post was given the 1st Place Award by Adrienne’s Corner:

Butt, the first place award goes to MOTUS, who reflected the real meaning of that miserable press conference with a depth of understanding only a mirror can produce - and we thank her.

Please join me in scampering over to Adrienne’s Corner to thank her for this truly magnificent award!

Lady M decided to lay low yesterday after Thursday’s trip to the pie store.

I wish I’d brought a larger pie bag, I can only get two in this one.

Just as well, I had my hands full. I was called in to provide some optics for the Big Read and Presser. You probably saw my handiwork on your teevee:

Did you see it?

      

Stage left, no MOTUS optics, stage right, MOTUS enhanced gravitas

Due to the gravitas of the issues being discussed yesterday, Big Guy felt he needed to project a little extra awesomeness so he had me reflect his world famous Oracle of Delphi columns onto our stock stage set presidential podium backdrop:

Because everyone remembers how well they worked the first time we used them:

Of course I had to scale them back a little. Butt I think yesterday’s historic “the private economy is just fine,” and “I’m insulted you would think otherwise”  presser went pretty well, don’t you? At least the optics end of it?

Although I’ve heard from Dewey’s Flatsimile Studios that I’ve violated Dewey’s copyright on the cartoon stage set he created for Big Guy:

“Bitch stole my set!”

I’m hoping to negotiate an out of court settlement, and since I’ve retained Dewey as my attorney I’m pretty sure I can.

Anyway, I just thought I should point out that everyone missed the real news in yesterday’s presser:

Today, we’re fighting back from the deepest economic crisis since the Great Depression.

with no exit in sight

We’ve created 4.3 million jobs over the past 27 months. The private sector is doing fine.

doin’ fine there

Where we’re seeing problems is with state and local government,

not so fine here

often with cuts initiated by governors or mayors who are not getting the kind of help they’re accustomed to from the federal government.

really, really not fine

 

The big challenge we have in our economy right now is state and local government hiring has been going in the wrong direction.  You've seen teacher layoffs, police officers, cops, firefighters being laid off…

oftentimes, cuts initiated by governors or mayors who are not getting the kind of help that they have in the past from the federal government and who don’t have the same kind of flexibility as the federal government in dealing with fewer revenues coming in. 

The problem is that it requires Congress to take action, and we're going to keep pushing them to see if they can move in that direction.

So,while everyone’s yapping about “the private sector is doing fine” comment, they missed the big point of Big Guy’s message: without government there is no economy.

Let’s connect the dots: a) the economy is in the dumpster, b) the private sector is doing fine, and c) state and local government hiring has been going in the wrong direction, ipso fatso, we need to send more federal money to state and local governments to avoid the lay off of any more public employees.

Got it? The Economy = Government. The economy is only bad because public employment is down; the private sector is robust (with the exception for that teeny little segment called “construction” butt that isn’t really all that important).

Of course that’s a lie an exaggeration: partially true only through the miracle of government mathamagicals which un-counted all the jobs lost during Big Guy’s first year in office (because those must have been Bush’s fault, right?)and counts all temporary (e.g. Census) and part-time jobs. And although almost everyone else knows our “robust” jobs numbers were achieved by magic tricks, Big Guy really thinks the private sector jobs number is robust. Like the Wisconsin re-call results, nobody really wants to tell him.

Butt I digress: the truth is Big Guy really, really believes the economy IS the government sector. Or at least that’s his vision for the economy. There’s a term for that, what is it again? Oh yes: “Socialism.”

 

Butt after that, all holy-hell broke loose - damn, that RRRT (Romney Rapid Response Team) is fast –

 

… and Big Guy had to calm things down a little:

The president walked back the comment later in the day. ""It is absolutely clear that the economy is not doing fine," he said. "That's why I had a press conference."

 

“Let me make this perfectly clear.”

Well, we did the best we could. It’s not as easy to walk something back as you might think. Just ask the Big Dawg.

Anyway, after that, the day was on a definite upswing. The Giants were here to celebrate their NFL Superbowl championship, followed by a swanky $40k/plate fundraiser.

Let’s check in with the 24/7 BO-tie economic indicator cam for an instant read:

Definitely on an uptick. Either that, or it’s just blowing in the wind.

Linked By: Adrienne’s Corner With 1st Place Award!!!, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and MRM on twitter,  and Lara Martinez on twitter, Thanks!

Barry and Kumar

As the Congressional Intelligence Committee investigates major and dangerous high level security leaks, House Oversight Committee Chairman Issa continues hearings on “Fast and Furious:” 

Ricky explains to Jason Chaffetz what the meaning of “is” is.

and and the House Judiciary Committee grills Ricky on the DOJ’s refusal to uphold voter ID laws…

Big Guy was busy tending to the important presidential responsibilities: raising awareness of his need to raise money for the upcoming battle with the R-words. Here’s the group of young Hollywood gazillionaires he met with yesterday to make sure they’ve got his back. He needs them to help him get out the youth vote and to fill that quickly depleting campaign war chest.

Young Hollywood gets an early morning call for “Breakfast with Barack”

This week’s New strategy: getting out the celebrity youth vote.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the meeting was part of the Obama re-election campaign’s “Young America Effort,” an initiative to build support and turnout among the younger voters who were key to the president’s election four years ago

Because, as we’ve discussed before, that’s where the money is. And they have the best access to the most malleable minds of mush.

Plus, it’s looking like there may not be enough registered dead Democratic voters to pull off a convincing victory, so we’re hoping young Hollywood will help us sign up a new constituency of as-yet unregistered voters: the pre-dead, pre-adults. That’s right, tweens! After all, who has more at stake in America’s future than tweenagers?

Justin Bieber at Winter Holiday Party, Willow Smith (then 10) performing at Big White 2011 Easter Egg Roll

So we’ve launched an (unofficial) campaign to make sure they all get a chance to register and vote for Big Guy in November too. Because after all, we just want to make sure that every one – regardless of sex, race or age - gets a fair shake to cast their fair share of votes.

Anyway, some of the young stars of Hollywood that Big Guy had breakfast with include – well, probably nobody you know:

Among those who met with the president were The Avengers star Jeremy Renner, Glee actress Dianna Agron, Star Trek's  Zachary Quinto, Southland's Ben McKenzie, Jessica Alba, Bryan Greenberg, Adam Rodriguez, Zach Braff, Brandon Routh, Ian Somerhalder, Jared Leto, Kal Penn and Sophia Bush

…whoa! Hold the phone! Kal Penn!?

Kal Penn, star of the small and large screen Kal Penn? Kal Penn, the actor that Big Guy is a huge fan of, and vice-versa, Kal Penn? Wow!  Big Guy admires Kal’s work so much he even created a special job for him in the Big White. He had to leave after a few months to spend more time on his career, butt still.

You may know Kal not from his Big White duties butt from his starring roles in the hugely successful modern day adaptations of the original Choomer Cheech and Chong flicks, the adventures of Harold and Kumar:

   

I’m not looking to start any rumors here or anything, butt I have heard discussions about the possibilities of Big Guy teaming up with Kal again on a future project:

Brought to you by the creator of the hit movie “Dude. Who Stole my Choomwagon?” Opening sometime after November 6, 2012.

Well, I’ve got to run. We’re setting up for a rare, unannounced presser. I think Big Guy will be reading about the economy, intelligence leaks and the do-nothing Congress. I’ll explain tomorrow why I have to be there.

Oh, and for the record: if there’s any lingering doubt in your mind as to whether Billy Bob Clinton is suffering from senility due to his misremembering the requirements for when we have to deal with taxes and spending issues, – which lead to his sincere apology - Charles Krauthammer explains his word salad here. 

And I’d just like to remind you that, unlike Big Guy, the Big Dawg didn’t inhale.

 

Oh and speaking of choomwagons, I know you already discussed this yesterday:

Butt despite our ongoing embargo on rear end views here’s yet another leaked document from the Big White: a photo of Lady M getting her choomba into the choomwagon. Now I think someone will finally get to the bottom of these leaks.

Linked By: Moonbattery, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Lady Liberty 1885, and Blonde on News Busters, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GretteWire, Thanks!

We Triple bogeyed Wisconsin, butt we’re still swinging. Fore-ward!

Dateline New York, June 6. 12:00 noon, Pierre Hotel: fundraiser.

Lady M is introduced to her fans by Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg.

file photo: we all know the rules re. photos at fundraisers

Most of you know my story by now.

Yes…and a fine story it is:

My father was a blue-collar city worker at the city water plant [and Democratic ward captain in the Daley machine], and my family lived in a little-bitty apartment on the South Side of Chicago. My mother still lives there. My bedroom looks exactly the same. (Laughter.)

Apparently they all know that Granny “still living there” is a joke too.

Same bed sheets, same pictures on the wall. (Laughter.)

Granny’s turned Lady M’s room into a shrine!

Admission will be reasonable.

And like so many people in this country, my father took great pride in being able to earn a living that allowed him to handle his business, handle his responsibilities, to pay his bills -- all of them -- and to pay them on time.

And really, everyone, what we have to remember is that more than anything else that is what’s at stake in this election.

I could be wrong but I think an awful lot of people are well aware of the fact that this is what’s at stake in the November election.

Dateline Philadelphia,  June 6. 3:15. Campaign workers rally.

I Lady M rally

Where we donned another fashion forward color block dress and mini-me sweater in colors similar to the one we wore a couple months back on the Letterman show.

This must be a trendy color scheme. The new Nike “Terminator” comes in the same colors:

CNN reports:

Touting the passage of health care reform, the improving economy and the withdrawal of troops in Iraq as examples or her husband’s achievements in office, Obama told the crowd to “make sure that people know that all of this — and so much more — is at stake this November.”

We’re really into sweepstakes. But there’s “so much more”

“And in the end, it all boils down to one simple question: Will we continue the change we’ve begun and the progress we’ve made, or will we allow everything we’ve fought for to just slip away?” she said.

Do I hear a vote for “slip away?” Anyone? Wisconsin? Anyone?

On Wisconsin!

Predicting a close race, Obama told the crowd her husband “can’t do this alone.”

Or can he?

Well, maybe with a landline.

"When we need a leader to make the hard decisions to keep this country moving forward, you know you can count on my husband, your president, because that is what he has been doing every single day in the Oval Office as President of the United States.”

Every. Single. Day.

Making the hard decisions…

Moving the country forward:

 

I wonder if I could move the capital to Honolulu?

Damn! We’re going down.

I said, go out for a long one. We’ll do Iran stuff later.

Everyone should carve out a little afternoon Oprah time. Don’t tell MO.

Friday before Super Bowl: preparations take place in the outer Oval Office

No, no no. You’re holding it all wrong. Bet you can’t jump, either.

Healing America’s racial divide, one beer at a time

There’s nothing better after a hard day of implementing social justice than a good glass or two of Big White organic honey ale.

Tuesday Kill Meeting: Wow! A direct hit! This is even better than Xbox 720!

Shoot! Did I forget to write out my economic plan!?

It must have gotten lost on my desk.

Oh well, TOTUS will come up with something.

I’ll just catch a few z’s here in the sun.

Michelle and I have killer schedules again on Wednesday and Thursday.

Wednesday Jun. 6, 2012

9:20 AM	Obama departs the White House en route Joint Base Andrews.
9:35 AM	Obama departs Joint Base Andrews en route San Francisco, California.
11:45 AM	Biden travels to Winston-Salem, North Carolina and delivers remarks on the Administration’s efforts to create jobs in the United States.
12:00 PM	Michelle Obama delivers remarks at campaign event in New York City.
2:45 PM	Obama arrives in San Francisco, California.
3:15 PM	Michelle Obama meets with Obama campaign volunteers from the Philadelphia area.
3:20 PM	Obama attends a campaign event.
5:15 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event at the Julia Morgan Ballroom.
6:15 PM	Obama departs San Francisco, California en route Los Angeles, California.
7:20 PM	Obama arrives in  Los Angeles, California.
10:15 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.
11:55 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event

All aboard!

12:00 PM	Biden meets with Prime Minister Jyrki Katainen of Finland.
1:20 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.
2:20 PM	Obama departs Los Angeles, California.
2:45 PM	Michelle Obama meets with Obama campaign volunteers from the Manassas area.
3:20 PM	Obama arrives in Las Vegas, Nevada. Obama delivers remarks on college affordability.
5:00 PM	Obama departs Las Vegas, Nevada via McCarran International Airport.
5:15 PM	Michelle Obama attends a campaign fundraiser at a private residence

         All Aboard!                                     iOwnTheWorld

Linked By: Clarice Feldman on American Thinker, NOBO2012 on Free Republic, anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, Thanks!