MOTUS A.D.: Bang the Dumb Slowly

Friday, January 18, 2013

Bang the Dumb Slowly

Is this any way to start your day?

“So, like, O.K., first things first: they obviously look great. Michelle Obama is a tremendously pretty person whose hair is one of her top-10 best physical attributes. It’s shiny and healthy and thick, so upping its prominence on her face is an excellent idea. The bangs are also short enough that they don’t obscure her face—the way mothers are always saying their daughters’ bangs do—which is a relief, since her lovely face also ranks amongst her top-10 best physical attributes.” Vanity Fair Daily via h/t ZombieDachshund

Oh dear, I could kick myself for not warning you about this new, uh, “haircut.” In my defense allow me to say 1) I thought we agreed not to ~~wear~~ unveil this new 'do until the Inaugural, and 2) I surely didn’t think it would be such a big deal since we’ve worn ~~Asian~~ sporty bangs before; it’s not like it’s historical or anything.

Butt like many of you, when Lady M saw Jodi Foster at the Golden Globes with that big tall naked forehead she decided it might be time for her to go a little ~~Asian~~ “Anna Wintoura” with the bang thing. After all, it’s not as if she has to advertise the fact she has a really big brain. She has a degree from Princeton. And Harvard.

With respect to using the cosmetic trick of bangs to disguise those occasionally angry brows – well, good luck with that.

I’m sorry I’m out of town and was unable to attend MO’s daylong 49th birthday party that culminated in a wonderful little dinner at the swanky Café Milano over in Georgetown. Because it’s always fun to go anywhere in Washington with the Wons.

Don’t think I forgot about it though, I got her a nice personalized gift - a new Twitter handle; @FLOTUS. Clever, no? Her old handle - "Michelle Obama" – was a campaign account, now managed by the DNC. I know, I know: I thought all those tweets came directly from her iPhone too! It seems everybody’s been duped by somebody these days.

Now, for some news you can use:

The 2013 Sundance Film Festival officially kicked off yesterday here in Park City. As is the habit, it began with a discussion between movie journalists and Bobby Redford, Hollywood icon and festival founder.

Bobby’s going with the new bangs and “Bob” look too

Probably because he has a cold, Bobby was a bit more irritable than usual when asked for his annual response to the annual statement from the Salt Lake based conservative policy group Sutherland Institute, which criticizes Sundance every year for not reflecting the values of the state of Utah (as well as a few other red states):

"Sometimes, the narrowest mind barks the loudest," he said. "We need to ignore them."

Barky, and Barky Jr., try to ignore them.

The criticism leveled at Bobby’s festival in particular – and Hollywood in general – is that the majority of pop culture films presented are a) anti-American b) anti-capitalism c) overtly sexual, often perversely so, d) unforgivingly violent or e) all of the above.

In an apparent rebuke of the anti-capitalism charge, Bobby reminded the audience that Sundance infuses $80 million into the Utah economy every year. And he said that the Sutherland Institute "should read the Constitution." Interesting, in that the group is not only a big supporter of said document, butt they didn’t question either the filmmakers or filmgoer’s right to assemble and engage in free speech. Still, good to know that Hollywood, or at least Bobby, still believes in the Constitution. At least his own rights there under.

Furthermore, Bobby openly concedes that he’s open to “change:”

Asked to sum up this year’s installment of the festival in one word, Redford responded: “Change. You can fight it, resist it, dread it or you can use it. That’s where I am”

Perhaps a change to the all new Junk Jeans would be fun