Rape, Robbery – Obama’s got the answer: Let’s Make Crime Illegal!

You see, ladies, if you would just stay in the Designated Safe Zones, and stay out of the Authorized Rape Zone, everything would be just fine.

“It’s why we have call boxes, it’s why we have safe zones, it’s why we have the whistles. Because you just don’t know who you’re gonna be shooting at. And you don’t know if you feel like you’re gonna be raped, or if you feel like someone’s been following you around or if you feel like you’re in trouble when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop … pop around (sic) at somebody.”

A designated Safe Zone at Berkeley

Designated Second Amendment Safe Zone  h/t Doug Ross

So you see; women don’t need no stinkin’ guns, so let’s just ban them from campuses everywhere. And while we’re at it:

If, however, you should wander out of the safe zone and happen to get yourself raped and subsequently pregnant, remember: the Republicans lost their War On Women. So thanks to Big Guy and the Democrats, at least they won’t be able to touch your body or your choice.

Me neither, babe. Go home.

Butt seriously? Call boxes? Safe zones? Whistles?! - Dog whistles?!!! Isn’t that racist or something?

Speak up: I can’t hear you. Who’s calling me a racist dog…again?

Hey! And as long as we’re at it, I’ve got a good idea!! Let’s ban all nuclear weapons too!!!

Oh, wait - I guess Big Guy is way ahead of me on this one: It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.

Still, don’t you think now is the right time?

With my new flexibility, it’s a done deal!

Linked By: Robert Handy on facebook, and  BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!