MOTUS A.D.: Exploitation “R” Us: UPDATED With Traveling Music!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Exploitation “R” Us: UPDATED With Traveling Music!

Let me see if I’ve got this right: We now know that NoKo has the capacity to put nuclear warheads on missiles (i.e. start WWIII), butt Congress is focused on ~~eliminating~~ ~~infringing~~ placing common-sense limitations on American’s Second Amendment rights? I guess that makes sense.

To that end, we sent out our administration’s two best experts on guns: Joey and Lady M.

UPDATED With Traveling Music (h/t: Jackie Gleason) to Honor Their Performance!

“Nobody Does It Better”: Carly Simon

First up, Joey B, with his own explanation for why people want guns:

“It used to be we were dealing almost exclusively with hunters," Biden said. "There’s a whole new sort of group of individuals now who, I don’t know what the numbers are, that never hunt at all, but they own guns for one of two reasons: self protection or they just like the feel of that AR-15 at the range."

"They like the way it feels. You know, it’s like driving a Ferrari.”

Unfortunately he seems to be getting his bitter-clinger stereotype mixed up with his limousine liberal stereotype.

Joey’s $321,000 Ferrari limo for his recent Paris visit: he liked the way it felt

Sure beats the feeling of this lousy Trans Am

Joey went on to argue for a mandated reduced sized magazine:

“If there had only been ten bullets in each clip, [the shooter] would have had to change the clip an additional three to five times," he said. "One of those kids would be alive. Somebody would be alive."

I’m not trying to be argumentative here, butt maybe he and Big Guy would be better off just trying to ban magazines altogether. I mean, doesn’t it sound like like they’re arguing that it’s okay to kill 10 people, butt anything over that is unacceptable? Where’s the common sense in that?

No, wait, what did I just say? Okay, let’s just ban guns altogether.

Meanwhile, in Chicago, Lady M was also busy demonstrating that no one’s too big, no one’s too small to exploit if it’s something we really believe in:

She took a rare step for any first lady into the legislative fight of the hour, saying her husband, President Obama, is “fighting as hard as he can, and engaging as many people as he can, to pass common-sense reforms to protect our children from gun violence.”

“These reforms deserve a vote in Congress,” she said.

Because filibustering is only okay if you are a Democrat, which on it’s face proves that you are representing the majority view of the country, not just getting in the way of it.

Note to self: remind Lady M to register as a lobbyist within 45 days

Hoo-wee! I think Hillary better watch her back. She might just get scooped by another Obama in 2016 – I mean, tears, and everything! This looks like a real throw down from where I’m sitting.

Butt back to the business at hand; as you know, the Senate bowed to MO’s awesomeness and went ahead to pass the gun bill.

Anyway, now that Lady M is an official lobbyist, maybe she could get the Senate to pass the tabled resolution honoring Lady Thatcher, our staunchest ally in the fight against the evil empire. Oh, I forgot; the Dems don’t really believe in fighting evil unless it is the domestic Republican variety.

And closing the week on a high note: look! Lady M is finally getting the Medal of Honor ceremonial clothing right. Except for the fit of course, and the shoes, butt hey! We’ve come a long way baby!

Posthumous Medal of Honor Ceremony, Sergeant 1st Class Jared Monti, 2009

Posthumous Medal of Honor ceremony for Chaplain (Captain) Emil Kapaun, Korean War veteran (with the benefit of maximum trans-imaging capacity) April, 2013