Global Warming: You Don’t Have A Snowden’s Chance In Hell

“He taunts me”

To quote Victor Davis Hansen: “It’s bad to be seen as unethical and its bad to be seen as impotent butt it’s really bad to be seen as impotently incompetent.”

So, while Edward Snowden remains holed up in the transit zone at the Moscow airport, and Pooty taunts us, Big Guy released this hour’s squirrel to hunt for a nut.

OMG! GLOBAL WARMING! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

So - in order to avert your eyes from Russia and China’s humiliating behavior towards America, the NSA spy ring/citizen/reporter snooping program, the pending amnesty bill in the Senate, the travesty of the IRS harassment program and the distortion of Benghazigate – BHO once again took to the campaign trail to rail against global warming. The science is settled, you know.

Wow, not to pat myself on the back, butt did I not call this one? BHO referenced JFK’s bold plan to go to the moon by opening with a little story about the astronauts orbiting around the moon on Christmas Eve of 1968. Allusion of grandeur.

So in his much anticipated Georgetown read on “Climate Change” Barack Hussein Obama boldly went where no man has gone before; calling global warming deniers members of the Flat Earth Society and vowing to end global warming in his lifetime.

Is it just me, or is it hot in here?

Let the record reflect that, by most accounts, his bold objective has already been achieved.

“President Obama is still parading his ignorance on climate science, linking bad weather to “global warming”, claiming a mythical 97% consensus, and implying that his executive actions can alter the globe’s temperature and lessen extreme weather events. The President has descended into the realm of medieval witchcraft by claiming he can combat global temperature rises and weather patterns through administrative action. Let the battle begin.” - Marc Morano Climate Depot

Never mind that BHO had to resort to a few debunked climate myths in order to make his case, most conmen do:

The 12 warmest years in recorded history have all come in the last 15 years.  Last year, temperatures in some areas of the ocean reached record highs, and ice in the Arctic shrank to its smallest size on record -- faster than most models had predicted it would. These are facts.

Except for the fact that, um, they aren’t…facts, that is.

Farmers see crops wilted one year, washed away the next; and the higher food prices get passed on to you, the American consumer.

Because droughts and floods never happened before, in the entire history of agronomy; until global warming started, right after Algore invented the internet.

Further references of the non-occurrence of famine, floods and droughts may be found in the Great Book.

So the question is not whether we need to act.  The overwhelming judgment of science -- of chemistry and physics [ed. two subjects Barry Hussein Obama was never taken] and millions of measurements -- has put all that to rest.  Ninety-seven percent of scientists, including, by the way, some who originally disputed the data, have now put that to rest. [ed. see Mr. Morano’s comment, above] They've acknowledged the planet is warming and human activity is contributing to it. [ed. ditto]

Further excerpts of note:

I'm announcing a new national climate action plan, and I'm here to enlist your generation's help in keeping the United States of America a leader -- a global leader -- in the fight against climate change. [ed. the stu-dents would be better served to insist that he keep the USA a leader in freedom, liberty and industry.]

So today, for the sake of our children, and the health and safety of all Americans, I’m directing the Environmental Protection Agency to put an end to the limitless dumping of carbon pollution from our power plants, and complete new pollution standards for both new and existing power plants. [ed. - Audience applauses the announcement of their own demise.]

The fuel standards we set over the past few years mean that by the middle of the next decade, the cars and trucks we buy will go twice as far on a gallon of gas.

Barry Hussein Obama, having never taken a physics class in his life, remains unfettered by it’s laws (or ours) and therefore is free to think completely outside the box and come up with solutions nobody else has ever thought of. Shazam! Order his little people to set higher standards! If you set them, they will come. Why didn’t I think of that?

Anyway, I’m sure that if anyone can do it, it’s BHO: after all, he is the Lightbringer:

The good news is simple upgrades don’t just cut that pollution; they put people to work -- manufacturing and installing smarter lights and windows and sensors and appliances. 

Ah! We’ve broken out the old  “Broken Window” economic plan again! That always turns out well. Perhaps you remember our previous discussion of this phenomenon, where we evaluated it’s economic effect through the Firesign Theatre’s “Shoes for Industry” parable:

Here’s the concept: the only way to improve the economy in George Leroy Tirebiter’s surreal post-war world is to remove your shoes and turn them in to the government. In turn, this creates jobs for people to make new shoes to replace the shoes you’ve patriotically turned in. Sort of like daylight savings time – another government invention. Firesign Theatre is so underrated.

“But we can do even better than that.  So today, I’m setting a new goal:  Your federal government will consume 20 percent of its electricity from renewable sources within the next seven years.  We are going to set that goal.”

Goals are important.

Big White Renewable electricity sources

“We’ll also encourage private capital to get off the sidelines and get into these energy-saving investments.”

I don’t see how that will be a problem; what right thinking company would turn down the opportunity to make energy-saving investments funded by taxpayers?

Let the record reflect that BHO’s 50 minute, historic speech on “Climate Change” included 61 self-references - 44 “I”s and 17 “my”s. What less would you expect from the Oracle of Smart?

                                 "Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
                                 removes the colours from our sight.
                                 Red is grey, and yellow, white,
                                 but we decide which is right,
                                 and which is an illusion.”

Moody Blues: "Late Lament"

UPDATE: bkeyser completed yesterday’s assignment on the Hillary 2016 campaign gear:

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network