MOTUS A.D.: MOO U???

Friday, June 21, 2013

MOO U???

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful suggestions on what the elementary school in the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) to be named after Lady M should be called. Unfortunately the school board has already chosen the name “Michelle Obama Elementary” so we’ll have to save the “Lady M Preparatory School of Fashion and Design” for a later date. And I’m sure you can see why “MOO U” was inappropriate for a grade school. Ditto “MOO U2.”

“This name was selected by the school-site council because Michelle Obama supports active living and eating healthy, and the school models itself on that,”

Apparently thinking and eating “right”, and losing your fat behind are more important these days than learning proper grammar, mastering the principles of mathematics and learning the basics of critical thinking. After all, that’s what computers are for, right? Lady M’s school will focus more on social justice issues and the theology of global warming. Because learning how to reduce your “carbon footprint”, if you know what I mean,

Run faster Charles, and you can reduce your carbon backside too!

and I think you do, in order to save the world is more important than understanding the laws of thermodynamics, finance and economics, right? I mean that’s what computers are for, right? And not that I’m profiling or anything, butt the Chinese just seem to be naturals at that stuff…so we might as well let them handle all the boring stuff, right? While we make the world safe from red meat and carbon footprints?

First graders studying their trigonometry lesson in Beijing

As a showcase for healthy eating, Lady M’s new school will be dedicated to serving only locally sourced weeds and vegetables.

Locally grown tomatoes and oh look! Wild arugula!

Also, in order to mask all class distinction, the children will be required to wear uniforms; although they’ll be allowed to choose which uniform they wish to adopt.

Future ~~Crony Capitalists~~ Green Energy Leaders of America:

Future Journalists of America:

Future Sheep of America:

Or Future ~~Gang~~ Leaders of America:

The Future Fashionistas of America club is still holding auditions for their uniform selection. So far these are in the lead:

All of the uniforms will be made of highest quality, 100% organic materials and assembled with skilled labor.

Although I don’t mind telling you, the SEIU is little bit ticked off about that last part.

Also, since both Lady M and Big Guy are huge proponents of women’s rights, and they don’t want anyone punished with a baby, the Michelle Obama Elementary school will be dispensing, free of charge, Plan B pre-abortion pills in the girls’ lavatory.

Plan A, as always, will be continue to be available in the boys’ room.

Anyway, if all goes well, this new Lady M style academy will serve as a model for the future Obamaschools® For America. We plan on passing some common sense legislation outlawing Catholic and Protestant schools, due to their divisiveness and the fact that we want a complete separation of church and state, and the only way to do that is to get rid of the church. We also plan to regulate home schooling out of existence. Once this happens the new OFA schools will be fully funded with all the money we’re saving through the sequestration.

All you need to know, if you’re a parent of school aged children, is that our new schools will provide your kids with breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner so you no longer have to. And all the food will be delicious, healthy, meet all of the FDA daily recommended nutritional requirements…and be provided free of charge!