MOTUS A.D.: Sad Brat’s Diary

Friday, October 18, 2013

Sad Brat’s Diary

October 18, 2013

Dear Diary,

Well, it’s over - the great Tea Party Anarchist Government Shutdown of 2013. Someone has removed all the barrycades.

All the non-essential employees have returned to their non-essential posts.

The roar of leaf blowers are back, assuring the squirrels that I will once again be able to provide them with free peanuts;

the Panda-cam is back up and running.

Clearly, I WON - again.

It bores me now.

Dear Diary,

I thought vanquishing my enemies would be much more fun. Don’t misunderstand; I’ve enjoyed humiliated them; I relished giving them a public shaming.

It’s not like beating them at golf, but it was still good.

Dear Diary,

I just don’t understand these unfeeling politicians. I harass them with my IRS unit, I spy on them through the NSA. I mock them;

“You don’t like a particular policy or a particular president? Then argue for your position. Go out there and win an election.”

I call them terrorists, hostage takers; I have my minions in the media call them racists. I demean and ridicule them.

And still…they taunt me.

Dear Diary,

The Teahadists continue to threaten me with additional hostage taking and ransom demands if I don’t rein in federal spending. But as I have no federal budget, I fail to see how they can make me. I will continue to have the NSA and the IRS keep an eye on them. They will pay for their treason.

Dear Diary,

I have crushed the rightwing nutz, but I cannot bend their will. How dare these arrogant little men question me? Where do such politicians come from?

Who do they think they are?

Dear Diary,

They send their vermin to torment me,

thinking they can get under my impossibly thin (black) skin. It won’t work.

Dear Diary,

Now they are colluding with the Chinese against me, getting them to downgrade the US credit rating just because we have too much debt, too much deficit. Traitors. Idiots. I will crush them.

Dear Diary,

Well, the important thing is the MSM agrees that this “manufactured crisis” - created by talk radio, bloggers and domestic terrorists - is over.

I’m exhausted, I think I will take a nap. And when I am rested, I am going to get right back in the game.

If these little twerps think they can stop me from completing my transformation of Amerika, I’ve got a message for them:

If they try to get in my litter box and dig up all those old, phony scandals and start harping about the failure of my O-care system, I will sic the big dogs on them.