Spies, Lies, Buys and Cries: the Week in Review.

 

“From the age of uniformity, from the age of solitude, from the age of Big Brother, from the age of double think- greetings!” -George Orwell, 1984

ICU

No, that was George Orwell in 1984, not Big Guy’s greeting at his fifth iftar dinner honoring Ramadan and all things Muslim.

This was his iftar dinner greeting:

"Throughout our history, Islam has contributed to the character of our country, and Muslim Americans, and their good works, have helped to build our nation -- and we’ve seen the results.”

Yes. Yes we have.

Butt that wasn’t this week’s key talking point; that would be this pronouncement from Big Brother Guy:

“With an endless parade of distractions, political posturing and phony scandals, Washington has taken its eye off the ball. And I am here to say this needs to stop.”

Allow me to elaborate: you know all those “so-called scandals” - NSA, IRS, Fast and Furious, and Benghazi? They’re just “ginned up” “nothing burgers” distracting us from the real job of ruling governing. Spies, lies, buys and cries; that was a long time ago. What difference, at this point, does it make?

Therefore, your dear leader would like to shift your eyes away from these “distractions”

previously known as scandals and onto a new squirrel talking point critical issue: the economy.

Because for the 9th time we are teeing up to focus like a laser beam on creating JOBS!JOBS!JOBS!

Let’s get this economy out of the ditch that the Republicans drove it into.

 

Because while we’ve managed to keep the unemployment rate hovering around a very respectable 7.6 % by getting rid of so many potential workers by simply disappearing them, we’re down to just 63% of working age people supporting the other 37% of us who aren’t. In case you’re not good with numbers (like BO), that’s not a good ratio so we need to attract a few more squirrels to our feeder.

And speaking of squirrels,

I see that the squirrels in California are infested with fleas carrying bubonic plague.

Where on earth do you suppose they came from? I sure hope our Amnesty Comprehensive Immigration Bill is comprehensive enough to include fleas carrying bubonic plague. Actually,  I mean I hope it EX-cludes fleas carrying the plague from entry. Butt it probably won’t since I think we’re trying to be more inclusive. So here’s MOTUS’ health tip of the week: stay away from squirrels.

Well, I guess that pretty much covers my recap of the week: weiners, weiners and more weiners. Try to keep your eyes on all the squirrels.

Like liberty?

 Fire! Fire! Fire!

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“See Something, Say Something.” HELLO!!!!

 

Do you remember when citizens still had a reasonable expectation of privacy (c. 1776-2007)? You know, from the Constitution?

I guess because of all the “phony scandals” talk radio has ginned up, or something, we’re getting a timeout and have lost that privilege for the time being.

The U.S. government has demanded that major Internet companies divulge users' stored passwords, according to two industry sources familiar with these orders, which represent an escalation in surveillance techniques that has not previously been disclosed.

Butt don’t worry, because Microsoft says it does not participate:

A Microsoft spokesperson would not say whether the company has received such requests from the government. But when asked whether Microsoft would divulge passwords, salts, or algorithms, the spokesperson replied: "No, we don't, and we can't see a circumstance in which we would provide it."

Really? Except maybe this one?

According to an article published on Thursday by the British newspaper, internal National Security Agency memos show that Microsoft actually helped the federal government find a way to decrypt messages sent over select platforms, including Outlook.com Web chat, Hotmail email service, and Skype.

Google, in responding to the story, said likewise:

"We take the privacy and security of our users very seriously."

And you can take that to the bank, because Google’s official motto is “Don’t Be Evil.”

Don’t read too much into the fact that they previously caved to China’s demands for censorship,

and have reversed themselves on the issue of personal privacy.

That doesn’t mean that they would ever dream of caving into their own government’s demand for snooping.

And that goes for Yahoo too,

"If we are required to provide information, we do so only in the strictest interpretation of what is required by law,"

And we all know who “the law” is around here now.

And I think you can expect dittos from the rest of the gang, despite the fact they pled the Fifth and refused to comment,:

Apple, Facebook, AOL, Verizon, AT&T, Time Warner Cable, and Comcast did not respond to queries about whether they have received requests for users' passwords and how they would respond to them.

We can’t say for sure if any of these companies have cooperated with the NSA, as the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court operates in near total secrecy. Even Congress can’t get their hands on the data they are holding:

Congressman Issa displays all the information from his document request that wasn’t redacted.

So how’s that for irony!? The only entity guaranteed total, absolute, secured privacy of their data is…your federal government! Which used to be “we the people” - you know, us - butt now it’s them!

That’s right! And if you dare leak any of their secrets, well, you may just end up living in the Moscow Airport.

Just what part of “creeping tyranny” do you people not understand?

Construction of new $1.2 billion NSA surveillance data center in Lehi, Utah - 15 times the size of a NFL stadium - nears completion

Send in the Drones…

Don’t bother, they’re here.

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Obama’s America 2013: “The trick…is not minding that it hurts.”

I’ve been to movies that didn’t run as long as Big Guy’s Galesburg Address.

And like many movies, this turned out to be one of those unfortunate sequels that really didn’t need to be made. You know, like Transformers 2, 3, and 4? And probably 1.

We are the Transformers: we’ve come to destroy

It was like a campaign speech in search of a campaign. And a crowd:

Like most sequels, it contained a lot of retreaded ideas that you would have sworn had already been milked for all they were worth the first, second and third time around. Butt because people always go with the familiar, they keep repackaging those old worn out ideas and reselling them as new.

So in case you missed the speech, don’t worry: you’ve already heard it: starting with a run down of everything Big Guy’s already done for you.

This was followed by a list of all the things he wants to do for you, butt can't, because of the villains in this sequel: Washington. Let me be clear, not Big Guy; although he’s “in” Washington, he’s not “of” Washington. We’re talking about the Republicans in the do-nothing Congress, who are fighting him on every front.

“With an endless parade of distractions, political posturing and phony scandals, Washington has taken its eye off the ball. And I am here to say this needs to stop.”

Got that? There will be no more gambling going on in this establishment.

Then he wrapped up by listing for the umpteenth time some of those things the do-nothing Congress is preventing him from “investing” your money in: education, high-tech manufacturing, green energy, high speed trains and broadband. Things like his U.S. Housing and Urban League “Strong Cities, Strong Communities” initiative which apparently launched in Detroit.

Detroit: inspiration for the “Strong Cities, Strong Communities” initiative.

And he spoke of the good deeds he would do if only the do-nothing Congress would get out of the way so he could clean up this mess. For example, by passing amnesty comprehensive immigration reform in order to create more jobs. And he advised the crowd that if the do-nothing Congress refuses to invest in his new Transformer 5 sequel, he’ll don the superhero suit himself and smite them with his mighty pen: that’s right,“executive action.” 

So take that, you  lazy–no-good-elected representatives. We have a mandate. We’re on a mission from…well, okay, not God, butt we’re definitely on a mission, and we’re not going to let that old Constitution stop us!

What is that saying again, about doing the same thing over and over again butt expecting a different result? Yeah, I think we’ve nailed that.

Maybe what we really need in Washington are some new villains because the old ones are getting kind of boring. And maybe some new “heroes” too.

Hey! I know! How about a remake Lawrence of Arabia? Only this time T.E. Laurence could be played by a black Muslim instead of Peter O’Toole?  If we must rewrite history in order to level the playing field, give everyone a fair shot and a fair shake, so be it.

Omar Sharif as T.E. Laurence and Peter O’Toole as Sherif Ali. What do you think? 

“The trick…is not minding that it hurts.” – Lawrence of Arabia

 

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Carlos Danger Steers the Weiner Waggin’

Yeah, butt no. Apparently it’s till the same Little Tony.

Weinergate II: The Weiner Continues to Wag the Dog.

It doesn’t seem possible; has it already been 2 years since the last Weiner roast? My, how time flies when you are apparently having fun, fun, fun.

Summer 2011, we reported:

After adamantly claiming for days that he did not have sext with that woman, what’s her name, Anthony Weiner finally admitted that he did indeed sext his pecs... along with other miscellaneous anatomical assets to several women; both prior and subsequent to his marriage to Huma (who couldn’t make it to the press conference due to a previous engagement).

Some people were perplexed that Huma not only came to yesterday’s press conference where Big Tony had to acknowledge that Little Tony had been wagging again, butt smiled broadly and stood by her man. It’s easy people: she wants to be FLONYC (First Lady of New York City); and later, following in her mentor’s shoes, Secretary of State.

Again, from 2011:

Wiping back tears, Rep. Weiner said "This was me doing a dumb thing and doing it repeatedly and lying about it..."

And then the next summer doing another dumb thing and lying about it. And getting caught, thus violating the only remaining standard of behavior in politics; getting caught, not doing another dumb thing or lying. Some people just never learn. Well it’s not my fault, I’m the one who suggested Little Tony head to rehab after his last Huma-iliating affair.

Tip for Tony: use artificial tears

I guess he thought that a better use of his time in pursuit of establishing domestic bliss and future career options was hooking up with another hot political groupie for more sexting.

Things are looking worse by the hour.

So as summer languidly moves into those August days when everyone in Washington gets all wee weed up, we have another Weinergate to distract us from more serious affairs.

For example, how many people will be tuned in later today when Big Guy takes to the pulpit microphone to give a read on “how to fix the economy?” Despite buying pre-speech banner ads reading: “You're going to want to watch this speech”

This Wednesday, the President will kick off a series of speeches that will lay out his vision for rebuilding an economy that puts the middle class and those fighting to join it front and center.

In case you don’t have time to watch it because, well, because, here’s a synopsis from AP:

He’ll “talk about efforts to expand manufacturing, sign up the uninsured for health care coverage, revitalize the housing industry and broaden educational opportunities for preschoolers and college students.” He is also expected to claim American businesses are in desperate need of millions of new immigrant employees at a time when the unemployment rate is 7.6 percent, and rising, and 22 million Americans are underemployed.

Now it’s because we haven’t granted amnesty to 12 million previously illegal immigrants? Anyway, in case you’ve lost count of how many times we’ve lost focus on just exactly what was causing the problem, requiring us to re-pivot on our JOBS!JOBS!JOBS! platform - the answer is eight. Or to borrow a great phrase from Big Tony about Little Tony yesterday: “It’s in our rearview mirror, but it’s not far.”

So if Big Tony applies Big Guy’s JOBS!JOBS!JOBS! standard, the Weiner gets at least six more sext-capades free passes.

Maybe Huma should spend the time between all of the Tonys’ gigs getting a little more mentoring from Hillary on how to deal with future “Weiner fan eruptions.” Because smiling and appearing to give the jerk-off a pass isn’t flying too well in the blogosphere. Hillary can instruct her on the proper tactics of attacking the fans and charging a vast right wing conspiracy for trying to take out a true fighter for the working class.

Oh my! This is worse than a bimbo eruption. We’ll need an alternate plan for your career.

So apparently Big Tony’s narrative of having spent his time since resigning from Congress in disgrace rehabilitating himself and repairing his family relationships isn’t quite the whole story. I’m telling you, he should have listened to me and checked into that highly recommended Sexual-Healing-Rehab-and-Jiffy-Lube Shoppe®.

Getting back to Big Guy: today’s read speech will just be a continuation of his laser-like focus on the economy and jobs. As you know, he hasn’t once taken his eye off the ball since reporting for duty:

It’s just that he’s found different things to blame.

March 7, 2009

From the day I took office, I knew that solving this crisis would not be easy, nor would it happen overnight.  And we will continue to face difficult days in the months ahead…

That's why my administration is committed to doing all that's necessary to address this crisis and lead us to a better day.  That's why we're moving forward with an economic agenda that will jumpstart job creation

August 1, 2009 – where we blamed Bush for the economic mess:

But the truth is, we didn’t get into this mess overnight, and we won’t get out of it overnight. It’s going to take time. But history shows that you need to have economic growth before you have job growth.  And the report yesterday on our economy is an important sign that we’re headed in the right direction

This won’t happen overnight.  As I’ve said before, it will take many more months to fully dig ourselves out of a recession – a recession that we’ve now learned was even deeper than anyone thought. But I’ll continue to work every day, and take every step necessary, to make sure that happens.

October, 2, 2010 – where we blamed lack of “clean energy” funding:

Over the past twenty months, we’ve been fighting not just to create more jobs today, but to rebuild our economy on a stronger foundation.  Our future as a nation depends on making sure that the jobs and industries of the 21st century take root here in America.  And there is perhaps no industry with more potential to create jobs now – and growth in the coming years – than clean energy.

June 11, 2011 – where we blamed lack of education funding for the mess:

We’ve just come through the worst recession since the Great Depression, and while our economy as a whole has been growing and adding private sector jobs, too many folks are still struggling to get back on their feet. I wish I could tell you there was a quick fix to our economic problems.  

There are also a few other things we know will help grow our economy, and give people good jobs that support a middle-class lifestyle. We know that a quality education is a prerequisite for success, so we’re challenging states and school districts to improve teaching and learning, and making it a national goal to once again have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world by 2020.

September 22, 2012 – where we blamed Congress for the economic mess:

See, when they skipped town, Members of Congress left a whole bunch of proposals sitting on the table – actions that would create jobs, boost our economy, and strengthen middle-class security. These ideas have been around for months. The American people want to see them passed. But apparently, some Members of Congress are more worried about their jobs and their paychecks this campaign season than they are about yours.

So let’s just stipulate that there are lots of reasons why Big Guy’s still giving the same economic speech 5 years into his presidency. As a homage to the Obama Age of Excuses I would like to submit this summer rerun:  it serves the purpose of explaining why both the Little Weiner and the whole Country have slipped free of their moorings.

(whoops! here’s the right one)

In the end, the folks I hear from in letters or meet when I travel across the country – they aren’t asking for much. They’re just looking for a job that covers their bills. They’re just looking for a little financial security. They want to know that if they work hard and live within their means, everything will be all right. They’ll be able to get ahead, and give their kids a better life. That’s the dream each of us has for ourselves and our families.

In the real end, it’s the dream we have for our country too: if Congress could just work hard and live within its means, everything will be all right.

 Don’t bet on it

Because we’ve seen what it looks like when it’s not.

It’s half-time in America, folks. Grab a mop and clean up this mess in 2014.

Linked By:  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Grey Havens, Helene Fagan Bidwell, Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Becky Dailey Lawrence-Becka, Dennis Denton, Annie Brown,  on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

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Profiling the Prince

 

New Heir to the Throne

Have you seen the list of names for the new Prince of Wales? George, James, Edward, Philip? Pretty boring. Come now Limeys - You can do better than that!

Maybe the royals can consult with one of Hollywood’s name consultants; they’re much more creative, having assisted our own royalty with the likes of “Apple” “Blue Ivy” and “North.” For example, original unisex names still available as far as I know: “Robin’s Egg Blue,” “Poison Ivy” and “North-by-Northwest.” Likewise, I believe “Hashtag” has already been taken, butt “Hashtag@RoyalBaby” is still available.

Butt we will focus our poll on the top most likely contenders for the new prince’s name. Cast your vote, and don’t forget: Chicago rules apply.

And as soon as the official name is in, the royal photographer will step in to take pictures and capture the new prince’s aura.  That’s right: photographer Carlo Van de Roer doesn't just capture a person when he takes their photograph, he captures the color of their soul!

What color is your soul?

I have no doubt that the new baby’s aura will be beautiful, as are those of all innocents. Probably yellow, which Van de Roer says represents optimism, youth and dreaming.

Lady M immediately commissioned the photographer to capture her and BO’s souls on film too. Butt things didn’t work out so well; the proofs were really not acceptable and the last I heard Van de Roer had been placed on TSA’s “no-fly” list.

I’m sure it was just some sort of a mixup. Or a malfunctioning of the camera aura-capturer. Or something.

Anyway, here are the pictures he captured of the Wons’ souls. MO, on the left, BO on the right:

I leave it to you to decide if the photographer is a racist.

And because we so seldom get such a feel good story (the birth of the baby prince, not the Wons’ black souls), let’s milk it a little more with some more cute baby pictures:

Ferrets, grizzly, polar cub and the love that dare not speak its name.

Baby otter and panda cub.

(UpNorthLurkin’s newest family member, Casey)

 

You’re welcome. Now don’t forget to vote for your favorite name for the baby formerly known as Prince.

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