If Obama had a bored kid in the classroom, he’d look like Putin.

Normally I would recap yesterday’s presser for you, butt in this case, the Daily Mail did it for me:

Presidential media cattle call includes questions on Obamacare, national security, immigration, terrorism and the Winter Olympics

While 'core al-Qaeda' is decimated, he claimed, offshoot groups 'can drive a truck into an embassy wall, and kill some people'

'There's always been some tension' between Washington and Moscow, Obama explained, promising to 'calibrate the relationship'

'I'm comfortable that the program is not being abused,' he said of the NSA surveillance that has put his White House on defense

The East Room press conference was Obama's last event before leaving town for an 8-day vacation on Martha's Vineyard

Followed by,

In a stunning dismissal of a head of state  with whom he has to work on pressing international matters, President Barack Obama referred to Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday with language more descriptive of a schoolboy than the leader of 143 million people.

Asked whether he can get 'big stuff done without having a good personal relationship with Putin,' Obama responded by noting that 'I know the press likes to focus on body language and he’s got that kind of slouch, looking like the bored kid in the classroom.'

Go away you pesky little…dog

Wait a minute; kind of slouchy? And bored? Hmmmm.

Project we much?

Continuing, BO spoke about national security:

'What makes us different from other countries,' he said, 'is not just the way we secure our nation, but the way we do it.'

A little redundant, butt then, what isn’t now days?

“Obama joke”

Then he reassured everyone once again that neither he nor the NSA are actually reading your emails (unless they have to).

Furthermore, al Qaeda is on the run:

"Core al-Qaeda" is on its heels and it is decimated,' he said,

In fact we’ve created a (w)hole so big in al Qaeda, you can drive a truck through it, or something: 

'They can drive a truck into an embassy wall, and kill some people,'

Sort of like a big black hole – can I say that?

Gee, that doesn’t sound cool. No wonder we closed evacuated reduced the size of our embassy staffs around the world to celebrate BO’s birthday.

In summary then, Big Guy would like to stipulate that everything stupid, broken and mean about Washington (that used to be Bush’s fault) is now due to the existence of the Republicans who have taken their eyes off the ball, or refuse to play ball, or something:

The GOP, he barked, after cataloging stories of those who would benefit, has 'made the idea of preventing these people from getting health care their Holy Grail, their number one priority, the one unifying principle in the Republican Party.'

So the take-away from yesterday’s presser on domestic spying, national security, immigration, terrorism, relations with Russia and the Winter Olympics is: the Republicans don’t want you to have healthcare.

And they want to shove granny off the cliff when she gets done eating her dog food.

A Republican spokesperson responded that the only documented case of anyone eating dog food during this administration was the President himself.

Stay tuned, extravagant vacation to follow…

Linked By:  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Red Target, Abby L Call, Clint Counts, Fred Hopkins on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Free Willy and Orca

Everybody around here is focused like a laser beam: our annual well-earned vacation starts tomorrow! And, as always, there’s still a lot of last minute packing to do.

Unmarked crates only – we don’t need any more Marie Antoinette jokes.

Then Big Guy will do a fly-by “Meet the Press” at 3:00 where he and TOTUS will deliver a few comments to deflect criticism, deny culpability, accuse “Washington” of “taking their eyes off the ball” and blame Fox News for ginning up phony scandals; all while feigning just the right amount of anger and indignation balanced with a dollop of that refreshing youthful insouciance that makes Big Guy so irresistible.

Yesterday was another busy one for Big Guy too. He and the Prime Minister of Greece ordered out for spanakopita,

and discussed the plight of the only country that finds itself in the same dangerous financial straits as Detroit. And for the same reason.

And we also announced this year’s list of recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom yesterday. The headliners for this years awards are Bill “Big Dawg” Clinton

and Oprah Winfrey. This is not the first prize Oprah’s collected from Big Guy for her not-insubstantial contributions to his ongoing success. You may recall she was also honored for “a substantial lifetime contribution to the world of arts” at the 2010 Kennedy Center honorees.

Warning: industrial strength containment systems do not operate outside the parameters of physics: what is squeezed at one end comes out the other.

A refresher on what the Presidential Medal of Freedom is all about:

“The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the Nation’s highest civilian honor, presented to individuals who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors.”

President Obama said, “The Presidential Medal of Freedom goes to men and women who have dedicated their own lives to enriching ours. This year's honorees have been blessed with extraordinary talent, but what sets them apart is their gift for sharing that talent with the world.”

It’s pretty clear how Oprah has enriched our lives;

With Big Dawg, you’re all just going to have to use your imagination.

The adventure continues…

Linked By: Robert Watkins, Abby L Call, Lynn Morrison Mehal on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network 

Bloomberg Deploys The Limbaugh Theorem.

If you live in a city anywhere in the USA, don’t forget to sign up for Obamacare, because it looks like there’s a new contagious disease out there that anyone can catch.

Warning: bankruptcy is contagious and may be damaging to your healthcare

It’s the new Detroit strain of bankruptitis and it could strike vulnerable cities all across the country, including New York. Mayor Bloomberg explains:

New York City could face the same dire fiscal situation as Detroit unless the next mayor gets realistic with municipal unions and reins in soaring pension and health-care costs, Mayor Bloomberg warned yesterday.

“Avoiding the hard choices is how Detroit went bankrupt,” the mayor declared in a speech in Brooklyn.

Did you see what he just did here? He just invoked the Limbaugh Theorem:

The Limbaugh Theorem is Rush’s explanation of why, according to the polls, most Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction but don’t hold President Obama accountable for it. Even in the midst of scandals, his job approval rating remains relatively high.

The theorem explains that people don’t associate Obama with the bad state of affairs because he’s always campaigning, fundraising, deflecting blame, feigning indignation, and talking about events in the Capitol as if he’s an outsider and not the man in charge.

Or, in Rush’s own words,

“low information voters, they think that what’s happening in the country has nothing to do with Obama…..He’s not seen as responsible for any of this.”

It’s worked so well for BO that Bloomie decided to save his own legacy by applying the Limbaugh theorem to New York. Accordingly, he warned the incoming mayor that they better do something to cut city employees’ pension and healthcare costs or New York will end up just like Detroit.

Let the record reflect that under Mayor Nanny Bloomberg’s watch pension costs for city employees have grown from $1.4 billion to $8.3 billion. And during his 10 plus years at the helm Bloomie has let every city union contract expire rather than renegotiating them. Because, seriously, there are limits to the Limbaugh theorem. It doesn’t hold up so well when garbage piles up on the streets and the kids are still not back to school when October rolls around because everyone’s out on strike.

So anyway, after meticulously avoiding the messy business of negotiating any contract concessions with the city unions, Bloomie announces that’s good news for the incoming mayor:

…his successor will have a unique opportunity to extract concessions because all municipal unions are all operating under expired agreements.

“They will not be willing to wait another four years for new contracts,” he said. “In fact, there may never be an opportunity quite like this again.”

Just like the states will have a “unique opportunity” to design Obamacare exchanges.

 

Look Mom! No fingerprints!

Allow me to summarize Bloomberg’s slick application of the Limbaugh Theorem: “I’ve been here for 11 years butt I’m not responsible for any of the problems that I didn’t do anything about.”

Brilliant! A perfect 10! Well done Mayor Bloomberg. A brilliant implementation of the Limbaugh Theorem!! You may well be looking at the next Democratic candidate for the presidency - if he’s willing to come out of the closet.

In that case I think he has an advantage over Hillary. I would think even Big Guy would have to endorse him: a gay, hardcore progressive aristocrat committed to fairness and willing to spend every waking hour thinking about how to create more jobs for the “middle class” in the promising fields of recycling, green energy and government bureaucracy; all while leaving absolutely no fingerprints on anything? Why, if BO had a white son, he would look just like Nanny Bloomberg!

They both seem to have been born with the awesome gift of invisibility.

I have a gift Harry, I’m invisible.

 

THIS PSA WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ORGANIZING FOR ACTION. AND REMEMBER: IF YOU LIKE YOUR CITY YOU CAN KEEP YOUR CITY.

The new Organizing for Action superhero: coming soon to a city near you.

Linked By: iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Janice Galford Dorn, Mireille Buser, Melissa Kunstadter, Alice Pruneau Suszynski on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Closing the Curtain On the Cold War

Why was Big Guy on Jay Leno’s show last night?

Because he had important issues he wished to discuss with world leaders and the American people.

First, for Vladimir Putin, BO wanted to let him know that he’s “disappointed” with him for granting Edward Snowden asylum.

"There have been times where they slip back into Cold War thinking and a Cold War mentality. What I continually say to them and to President [Vladimir] Putin, 'That's the past. We've got to think about the future.'"

Putin winks

Obama blinks

Unfortunately, just like with those pesky Islamists, if they are at war with you, you are at war with them. And if you don’t know it, or choose not to acknowledge it, you lose.

So if Pooty was watching, I’m sure he’ll get a hold of BO and apologize for his boorish behavior; or bearish, as the case may be.

Putin, “thinking about the future,” as instructed

THIS JUST IN: BO cancels September one-on-one meeting with Pooty in Moscow: that’ll show him!

And speaking of the unspeakable war on terror; BO honored Jay by using his show as the springboard for addressing the American people on the most current terrorist warnings issued by his State Department. If you were able to stay up and watch, you would have seen Big Guy advise us that the current al Qaeda threats that required the closing of embassies around the globe are just a reminder of his success:

"It's a reminder that for all the progress we've made ... this radical, violent extremism is still out there. We've got to stay on top of it."

Good idea! Why didn’t somebody think of that before we left Ambassador Stevens and his associates defenseless in Benghazi?

Oh that’s right: because what difference, at this point, does it make?

And Big Guy went on to explain that when he said that al Qaeda was “on its heels” last October what he meant was al Qaeda in Pahk-ee-stahn and Afghan-ees-stahn. Not necessarily in the Middle East where things remain dangerous.

Still, he doesn’t want us over-reacting. Better to under-react: rule #1 from “no drama Obama.”

So don’t cancel your trip to Europe, just be careful and remember:

“The odds of dying in a terrorist attack are a lot lower than they are of dying in a car accident, unfortunately.” [ed. “unfortunately” – don’t we think we could word that a little less “unfortunately?”]

Of course some people’s odds are always higher than others, and past performance is no guarantee of future results.

And then, on to the fun stuff; as the Tonight Show with Jay Leno is a comedy show, after all:

In lighter notes, Obama said he had invited his former secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, to her recent lunch at the White House and described her as having a post-administration "glow."

Actually, “the glow” may have been more apparent pre-post-administration.

And Jay wasn’t afraid to ask about Hill’s plans for 2016:

Asked by Leno whether the former first lady and potential 2016 presidential candidate had "measured the drapes" while she was there, Obama said no.

"Keep in mind she's been there before," he joked. "She doesn't have to measure them."

And do you know another first lady who might be interested in continuing to occupy the White House in 2016? That’s right, Lady M! And she’s not only measured the drapes, she’s worn them. On many occasions.

Close up of curtains in the East Room

MO, channeling the curtains:

We do curtains right

Now “drapes” - that’s a whole different category:

That might benefit from a bit more work.

Oh, and I almost forgot – also from Jay’s interview: We DO NOT spy on Americans. And you can take that to the bank. Where we’ll track your deposit.

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Peggy Julian, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

All the President’s Men

 

“Benghazi coverup? What Benghazi coverup!?? We no longer cover phony scandals”

In hindsight that trip to the Amazon distribution center in Chattanooga to talk about (small case) jobs, jobs jobs makes more sense.

Now that we can officially announce that Jeff Bezos bought the Washington Post, you see the perfect symmetry, right?

Coming soon: all the news that’s fit to read

Even some of our most loyal supporters wondered why Big Guy would pick Amazon - king of the crappy, minimum wage job that makes Walmart look like a worker’s paradise - to discuss his  "better bargain for the middle class."  (note to self: we should look into having Anna Wintour buy the New Republic, it looks like they could use a reboot too.)

Enthusiastic minimum wage workers outnumbered by photographers and SS.

Technically, Bezos is just the bag man as it might still be illegal for the administrative branch of the U.S. government to buy a newspaper outright. Butt I do know that we made all the arrangements, just ahead of our visit last week to the Amazon center in Tennessee.

BO meets with Amazon workers on their unpaid lunch break

This all started at our last strategy session (for OFA – we don’t do economic strategy sessions any more) where we identified some weak results in our “effectiveness” metric in the “major U.S. print newspaper” category. Although I think that’s partially due to people just not reading newspapers any more, Big Guy decided to buy another one anyway, and turn it around like he did GM. [related story: GM to drop the price on their popular electric powered car, the Volt, by $5000 next year (plus $7000 tax credit), in order to clear out the inventory put more electric vehicles on the street. Another successful green energy initiative.] So we pulled out our rolodex of crony capitalists and found one who hadn’t done anything for us lately and signed Jeff up to handle the paper work.

I think we can take our WaPo coverage to the bank from now on. And thanks to all the fine work we’ve done with the banking sector over the past 5 years, I’m pleased to announce that it no longer matters which bank, as we’ve pretty much occupied Wall Street.

All the President’s men of Wall Street come calling when summoned.

Or as LBJ famously said when asked which plane on the tarmac was his,  “Son, they’re all my planes.”

So if you don’t already have one, go buy yourself a Kindle today (through Amazon and get a special one day only discount) and prepare yourself for some great late summer reading.

 

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

BO’s B-Day Celebration Continues around the World All Week

“American intelligence agencies (issued) an unusual global travel alert to American citizens on Friday, warning of the potential for terrorist attacks by operatives of Al Qaeda and their associates beginning Sunday through the end of August.” NYT

Wait a minute: I thought Osama was dead and GM was alive -- maybe we got that backwards?

Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula

GM in Detroit: the ash heap of history

In response, Big Guy’s birthday celebration originally scheduled for August 4, his alleged day of birth, has been extended through the entire week!

A global travel alert and 21 embassies and consulates across the Muslim world remain closed all week in honor of BO’s birthday!

Which means there’s still plenty of time to send BO best wishes for another good year, along with a monetary token of your sincere appreciation for everything he’s done, so far.

Or if you’re short on cash because, well, because you’re unemployed and your unemployment is finally running out and you haven’t been approved for disability yet, you can just throw an Obama house party to sell your friends and neighbors on the benefits of Obamacare:

So we’ll keep banging that drum and hope that our citizens at home and abroad don’t get freaked over the “phony scandal” that Al Qaeda is still alive and as hate-filled as ever;

and it’s Detroit that’s dead.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

What the heck, this is America; we’ve got plenty of other cities. And since Islam has been waging its Long War against infidels for nearly 1500 years, I don’t think we could really expect them to stop now just because Big Guy won a Nobel Peace Prize for ending it. Right?

And let’s face it, what difference, at this point, does it make?

Just because you see little green men doesn’t necessarily mean you’re crazy

Linked By: American Digest KA-CHING!, and Mireille Buser on facebook, and  BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network