Christmas Without Tinsel: Unemployment Really is a Zero Sum Game

There’s nothing quite like the holiday season in Washington!

We’ve got Santas:

The American Santa Claus and the jolly old elf: you decide

 

to Menorahs:

OK, so we were a day late for a proper Hanukkah celebration, butt we’ve been busy. And when it’s a “holiday menorah” the precise date is irrelevant.

And in case you missed it last night, we lit the national Holiday tree:

And nearly everyone was “happy, happy, happy”

We had lots of guests, including Aretha Franklin who came as Humble Bumble from the Isle of Misfit Toys:

 

And Mariah Carey, who came as…

 

well, I’m not sure. Maybe a sack of marshmallows?

Meanwhile, our legislators were busy wrapping gifts for their constituents. Here’s Nancy Pelosi at her annual holiday news conference, promising extra unemployment benefits to all the good little boys and girls who still haven’t had any luck finding a job, lo, these many (5, butt who’s counting?) years:

""Economists agree that unemployment benefits remain one of the best ways to grow the economy in a very immediate way. It immediately injects demand into our markets and increases employment. For every dollar spent on unemployment benefits, the economy grows by, according to one estimate, $1.52; by others, $2. So somewhere in that range, but much more than is spent on it," Pelosi said.

Apparently extended unemployment benefits have proved to be so popular with recipients in the past that Nan decided to re-gift them again this year.

This gift concept originated way back in 2010, when San-Fran-Nan first told us that unemployment

“injects demand into the economy…It creates jobs faster than almost any other initiative you can name.” 

And here she is at the first re-gifting, for Christmas 2011:

“The unemployment insurance extension is not only good for individuals. It has a macroeconomic impact. As macroeconomic advisers have stated, it would make a difference of 600,000 jobs to our economy.”

The super-velocity of unemployment dollars is an interesting Keynesian-lite economic theory that our regime economists have skillfully created from whole cloth scripted to be used by any of our Democratic propagandists legislators who are willing to repeat such moronic indisputable talking points. And they are legion.

(Note: all talking points memos are also handed out daily to our compliant useful impartial media. That would be everyone except Fox News.)

As Doug Powers first pointed out during the 2010 inaugural run of the unemployment multiple gifting idea, if unemployment is the best way to create jobs, our economy won’t be fully functioning until nobody’s working. And I doubt even Big Guy can accomplish that. Although I certainly give him credit for trying.

Perhaps this would be a good time to point out that SFN also believes that tax increases are spending reductions, so at least her illogical syllogism is consistent.

Oh, and for the record moron Nan, you “inject” money into the system. Demand is “created.” Butt trust me, unemployment does neither; it just redistributes what was already there. You know, “spread the wealth around,” sort of like Santa does, only with other people’s money.

I still don’t get it; you mean no matter how many times I add it up, I still get ZERO?

 

Linked By: Clarice Feldman, and Abby L Call, Far North Dallas Tea Party Patriots, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Obama Fan Fiction: the Hardball Series

Are you familiar with fan fiction (FF)?

“Fiction written by fans about an extant fictional universe.”

Often written when the fans don’t like the ending; for example, thousands of fans have re-written the ending of “Titanic,” some with very creative plot twists.

In this animated FF version, Jack and Rose live on and on…as vampires.

All of which may explain why people trash the genre:

Fan fiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couch-bound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language.  - Lev Grossman, TIME, July 18, 2011

Anyway, fan fiction is not unlike fan journalism (FJ), where journalists make up stories to keep the narrative of their favorite politician going strong. Like their counterparts in fiction, fan journalists don’t do it for the money, they do it for the love.

“I love you man!” “Me too, Chris.”

So imagine Chris’ excitement when he found out he was going to have the opportunity to interview his favorite politician of all time! On his Ms.NBC Hardball show. And while the idiom “Hardball” use to mean “to act or work aggressively, competitively, or ruthlessly, as in business or politics,” with the adoption of Newspeak as the official language of the U.S. government, it now means something more like, well, “softball” - “something that can be easily dealt with.” Alternate Newspeak definition: “un-hardball.”

Big Guy is tossed a softball by fan journalist Matthews

Fan Boy took the opportunity to lob in some good ones, like this question about why young people should buy Obamacare:

“And for young people to recognize that it is in their financial interest and their health interest to be able to get ongoing preventive care, to be able to get — free contraception and — you know, benefits that — like mammograms that allow them to maintain their health throughout their lives, without fear of going bankrupt or making their family bankrupt if they get sick — that’s something that’s priceless.”

Seriously? Free condoms? Is that your final, priceless answer? You’re sure you don’t want to phone a friend?

Next, Chrissy slammed this one in about Republicans obstructing the rights of minorities to vote:

Let me ask you about something else. This is a Twitter question from C. Wilhelm’s, his name: “What can we do to stop the GOP, the Republicans, from rigging the votes state by state to disenfranchise voters and destroy our democracy? 36 states right now led by Republican legislatures, have been trying to make it difficult for minority people to vote, especially in big cities, and older people.” Everybody knows the game. Republicans often admit the game to deny people the vote. What's your reaction?

Barry knocked it out of the park:

You can’t say you take pride in American democracy, in American Constitutionalism, American Exceptionalism, and then you’re doing everything you can to make it harder for people to vote as opposed to easier for people to vote.

 

And he also asked Big Guy about the NSA kerfuffle, to which the Prezzie responded:

“I can’t confirm or get into the details of every aspect of what the NSA does.  … I’ve said before and I will say it again, the NSA actually does a very good job about not engaging in domestic surveillance, not reading people’s emails, not listening to their– the contents of their phone calls. Outside of our borders, the NSA’s more aggressive.”

I’m pretty sure that “a very good job about not engaging…not reading…not listening” is Newspeak for something, butt I’m not sure what just yet. Butt that might have been an opportune time for Fan Journalist Chrissy to do what Politico was hoping he would do with the interview:

Matthews and MSNBC have a chance to display some journalistic integrity here. To push the president where he needs to be pushed and, after the interview, criticize him where he deserves criticism. In that October interview, Griffin said MSNBC was "not here to be the voice of the administration." This interview and its post-game analysis offer a trial run for that thesis.

Allow me to respond to Politico’s comment on FJ Matthews behalf :

Since Big Guy added that he would soon be “proposing some self-restraint on the NSA.”  I guess that doing “a very good job” wasn’t quite good enough in this case, even for government work.

Still not done with the Hardball questions though, FJ asked for Barry’s response to recent polls showing a decline in trust in both the federal government and in Big Guy himself. Big Guy deftly batted that one away by hitting a foul ball into the Republican’s stand:

“The entire Republican Party brand over — since Ronald Reagan has been, ‘Government’s the problem,’” Obama told Matthews. “And if you, day after day, week after week, election after election are running on that platform and that permeates our culture, and it’s picked up by, you know, ordinary citizens who grow skeptical. Then it’s not surprising that over time, trust in government declines.”

Gosh! That sounds like propaganda! There’s no propaganda in politics, right?

Next, we discussed the phony IRS scandal, which FJ set up as a “tricky” 501(c)4 issue; Big Guy agreed:

He explained that the IRS office in Cincinnati was merely trying to “streamline” the system for “bureaucratic reasons.”

Naturally, Chris held the blockbuster question of the fan interview for the very end:

MATTHEWS: It's an essay question. The qualities required of a president. Vice President Joe Biden, Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, compare and contrast.

OBAMA: Not a chance am I going there. [Laughter] The-- here-- here's what I'll say. Both Hillary and Joe-- would make outstanding presidents-- and possess the qualities that are needed-- to be-- outstanding presidents. They-- I think Joe Biden will go down in history as one of the best vice presidents-- ever. And he has been with me, at my side, in every tough decision that I've made from-- going' after Bin Laden to-- dealing with the health care issues to, you name it, he's been there.

Good answer, seems neutral with a slight nod to Joey whose been there through thick and thin. Been there for Bin Laden:

Uh, Joey, turn that around.

There for Healthcare:

Yeah, Joe, it is a big f***ing deal. Now go sit down.

There for gun control:

And there for ice cream. And pizza.

The man is as ready as Big Guy himself.

So the only question FJ Chrissy didn’t ask yesterday was “Briefs, boxers, or none of the above?”

Butt that’s okay, we probably can’t handle the truth anyway.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, and @batfreight, @ValCSilver on twitter, and Dennis Denton, Abby L Call, Janet Moorhead, Patty Bride on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Obama Gets Schooled On The “Root” of Prosperity

“Let me end by addressing the elephant in the room here, which is the seeming inability to get anything done in Washington these days.”

Woo-hoo! I’m dying here! Did you catch that? The “elephant” in the room! Ha ha ha! The do-nothing “elephant” Congress. Kudos to the speechwriter who came up with that, you’ve got a standing job offer on the Daily Show.

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Big Guy pivoted away from the continually unfolding disaster of Obamacare yesterday back to the economy which, by comparison, is doing much better.

Donkey ears for the Prezzie making elephant jokes

Making the claim that income inequality is “the defining challenge of our time,” Big Guy pivoted back to what he hopes will be his priority for the next three years: fixing that pesky inequality through even more redistribution of wealth.

“The basic bargain at the heart of our economy has frayed,” Big Guy said, implying that we no longer offer an honest day’s wage for an honest days work. He said that challenged “the very essence of who we are as a people” and called for an increase to the minimum wage.

I know somebody who would agree with his statement whole-heartedly; Madison Root. You know, the little 11 year old who harvested mistletoe on her uncle’s farm,

packaged it up, tied with a ribbon and tried to sell it in a park in downtown Portland.

Only to be shooed out of the area for violating city ordinances regarding the sale of goods in parks. Begging, hanging out, smoking pot there - all cool. Selling mistletoe to help pay for your braces? Not so much:

'People can get money for pot but I can't get money for braces? I'm working for this, they're just sitting down on their butts all day asking for pot.'

Here’s an 11 year old girl who understands the principle of “an honest day’s work for an honest day’s wage” far better than our Prezzie. And I dare say she also has a better grasp of the unintended consequences of well-meaning government intervention and regulation as well.

The country needs more Madison Roots, as well as more Mr. and Mrs. Roots who raise children like Madison. In Portland Oregon of all places!

Get out of her way, and Madison will be able to realize the American Dream: I wonder if she’s home-schooled?

Oh, and for the record: the elephant in Big Guy’s front room is not the do-nothing Congress, it’s the do-everything Congress. The rear-end problems with Obamacare haven’t been addressed yet, and they show signs of festering. Not to worry though, we’ve got our A-team of tech experts (“the best and the brightest” by Common Core standards) working on it.

Obamacare: Praying it FORWARD! Period.

This Economics Lesson was brought to by your Democratic Party:

“Spreadin’ Your Wealth As Fast As We Can!”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Red Target, Mireille Buser, Candace Crider on facebook, and @batfreight on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

We’re Workin’ as Fast as We Can. That’s an estimate.

Watch for another really BIG speech from BIG Guy later today:

“President Obama will discuss the twin challenges of growing income inequality and shrinking economic mobility and how they pose a fundamental threat to the American dream,” the White House said in a statement.

*sigh* We’ve certainly nailed the “shrinking economic mobility” part. Butt regarding the “growing income inequality” - even I, equipped as I am with advanced refraction capabilities, grow weary of deflecting these spurious arguments. So today I’m going to let Charles Krauthammer do it for me:

Just where, in the Book of Life, does it say that life is supposed to be fair? And if you do locate the passage, does it indicate that making things “fair” means everyone has to get a smaller piece of a fixed size pie? Or does it allow you to make a bigger pie so everyone gets a bigger piece?

…and how about a scoop of ice cream with your slice of pie? Is that allowed?

And don’t even get me started on the causes behind our “shrinking economic mobility” – can you spell O-B-A-M-C-A-R-E?

And speaking of Epic Fails, I also can’t even begin to deal with the failure of the “rear end” portion of the Obamacare system.

As we learned last month, we forgot to write certain parts of Healthcare.gov – you know, the part that functions as a payment system?

Maybe I should send this concept graphic on to the O-Care Team

Butt don’t worry, like everything else, we have a jury-rigged solution at the ready:  it’s called a “workaround:”

Health plans will estimate how much they are owed, and submit that estimate to the government. Once the system is built, the government and insurers can reconcile the payments made with the plan data to "true up" payments.

As an aside: isn’t “workaround” a perfect euphemism for just about every Progressive Program?

Funny, this was a perfectly good egg before I whacked it with stick. No problem, I’ve got a workaround.

I’m suffering from system overload today. Maybe I’ll just wait for Barry’s speech to make things “perfectly clear.” Until then, I think I’ll go do a little on-line Christmas shopping. I’ll just estimate what I think I owe Amazon and wait for my presents to arrive.

Linked By: Mary Ann Curry, Red Target, Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Candace Crider, Sandy Peterson, Clint Counts on facebook, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Healthcare.gov is Turning Japanese: the American Way

You’ve probably heard that our Healthcare.gov site has been significantly improved, and we’re working hard every day to re-vitamize it.

In fact, things have been so re-vitamized that the Healthcare.gov team announced that it’s now “operating with private sector velocity and effectiveness.” That might be a just a bit of an exaggeration.  I don’t think Amazon, EBay or Overstock.com would still be in business if their “velocity and effectiveness” resulted in a system that:

• works 90% of the time when it’s not under maintenance, i.e. “it works when it works”
• doesn’t transmit your info when you make a purchase
• has an on-line waiting room where you can “park” until they have “space” for you to shop.

So it might be time to call in our cheerleaders again, just to make sure our fans know we’re still moving the ball downfield.

Katy Perry, for the home team:

We are the Obots,
Now you know our name.
We are the Obots,
so we will win this game!

So I’m happy to pass on some good news regarding Big Guy’s website. As you know, Kitty said the Mexican Spanish version of Healthcare.gov wouldn’t be available until 2014, but that was a mis-underestimate, because it’s up and open for business today! There’s just a couple of wee, small glitches left to iron out:

Apparently somebody forgot to install the update for our automatic language translation module. So as soon as we do that the Mexican Spanish language version of Healthcare.gov will no longer be in Japanese. Or Korean; or whatever this is.

And our Mexican Spanish version of Healthcare.gov  will also operate with “private sector velocity and effectiveness.” Until such time, how about a little ethnic traveling music (h/t Jackie Gleason): press button to play.

Turning Japanese: The Vapors 

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

How do you say “glitches” in Spanish…or Japanese?

Here’s the latest update on our Mexican Spanish language site:

Beating the estimated January 2014 rollout, HHS Secretary Kathy Sebelius announced today that the Spanish language version of President Barack Obama’s signature achievement, Obamacare, is up and running today at AtenciónDeLaSalud.gov. Sebelius said the site has been “end to end tested” and is “fully capable of simultaneously assisting the thousands of new citizens expected to sneak across the border every day in search of ‘a better life’ that includes quality, affordable health care for the first time.”

“We have Spanish speaking navigators  stationed all along our southern gateway to assist newly arriving citizens cross the border safely and sign up for an Obamacare plan to meet their needs.”

In related news, HHS Secretary Sebelius apologized for our head cheerleader’s performance at the American Music Awards show last week.

Katy Perry has been accused of being racist after dressing as a Japanese geisha for the opening performance at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles on Sunday night.

A host of watchers took to Twitter to accuse the popstrel of 'appropriating culture' due to her colourful performance of Unconditionally at the beginning of the show.

In her defense, she was confused by the “glitch” in our website, and didn’t know that she was supposed to dress as a Mexican.

Kathleen Sebelius again went on the record last week, releasing a statement that said in part: “We honestly did not know that “appropriating culture” was considered racist and therefore offensive.  Our only intent was to spread the good word of Obamacare ‘FORWARD.’ using Ms. Perry’s ample talents. So I would like to apologize on behalf of the Administration to anyone who might have been offended by our insensitivity towards the Mexican Japanese people.”

As a rule “appropriating culture” has just not been much of an issue with the Obama Administration.

Butt I guess I can see how some might consider it offensive.

Katy is sorry she “appropriated” a geisha umbrella instead of a sombrero: lo siento and ソーリー.

 

IMPORTANT LEGAL DISCLAIMER: The preceding quotes from H&HS Secretary Kathopotamus Sebelius are not real. I made them up. I am shamed…and deserve to be punished.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, and Dan Brosman, John T Minustwentyminutes Mercier, Abby L Call, Shawn McGill on facebook, and @TurdBurglestein on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Healthcare.gov: Everything Will Be “Right” in 2017

Yes, people, we’re moving FORWARD! Again. This time with our Healthcare.gov website.

That’s FORWARD. PERIOD.

After a month-long hiatus, we gave ourselves an additional 11 hour timeout, just to be safe:

“…two months after its roll out, and on the very day Mr. Obama’s signature legislative initiative was scheduled for reboot, his administration shut down the troubled Obamacare website for an 11-hour period…just hours before it was to be rebooted.

And we are now pleased to report that "HealthCare.gov on December 1 is night and day from where it was on October 1,"

Healthcare.gov Oct.1 to Dec. 1: like night…and day

So, in other words, “we have met the goal of having a system that will work smoothly for the vast majority of users.”

Which means that “the site will now be able to support a maximum of 800,000 visitors per day, including a target of 50,000 concurrent visits.” which seems impressive, unless you consider that Amazon can accommodate like a gazillion people at a time, all buying a “whole bunch of stuff.” (UPDATE: Amazon CEO Bezos says they will ship 300 packages/second - creeper ran the numbers and it looks like 90,000 simultaneous shoppers on the site.) Or unless you’re one of the 50,000 trying to register when that 50,001^st person tries to sign up. In which case, the system will crash and you’ll have to “try again at a later time.”

Butt I wouldn’t worry too much about that, because Plouffe-Daddy tells us that everything will come clean by 2017. That’s good.

Because WE CAN’T WAIT! EXCLAMATION POINT!

Remember, we can make it “Right” in 2017 if we do our job in 2014 and 2016. Maybe somebody could, please, push the fast forward button.

 

Because we really can’t wait. Hopefully by then we’ll have our broken system fixed and it will be like “night and day from where it was'” when the lights went out on America.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow when I give you an update on how our Mexican Spanish language site is progressing.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Hal Willingham, June Morse Williams on facebook, and @1389 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Just One Cockamamie Idea After Another

A lot of you were busy trying to sign up for Obamacare while Babs interviewed the Wons on 20/20. And while that was a better use of your time, I know you’ll want to see the frock that Lady M chose for our annual Bab-bul fest:

Some people might have thought it dowdy, butt I say thank goodness for small favors: at least it had sleeves. Here’s how Huff Po -  people who know more about these things than we do – described it:

Leave it up to Michelle Obama to take our favorite winter color combo -- navy blue and black -- to another stylish level.

The first lady and President Barack Obama sat down with Barbara Walters for their first joint TV interview this year, and Michelle wore a polka dot printed dress from Prabal Gurung's Resort 2014 collection.

Michelle's navy blue, black and pea green dress was well-coordinated with POTUS' blue tie and navy blue suit. And she even brought a bit of that color up to her eyes with a subtle green smokey eye. (Fancy, huh.)

A navy blue, black and pea green polka dot printed dress by Prabal Gurung?  Fancy-schmancy, I’d say!

 

Green smokey eyes? Yeah, that describes them.

I’ve taken the liberty of extracting the important parts from the hour long interview for you.

First, regarding the problems with HealthCare.gov:

(CNN) - Obama has taken responsibility for the website’s flaws, saying he should have been told earlier about the serious issues with HealthCare.gov’s digital infrastructure. He’s also apologized for his vow that people who liked their plans could keep them.

In Friday’s interview, Obama said he was looking for answers soon on why the rollout failed so spectacularly.

“Obviously my most recent concern has been that my website’s not working,” Obama said. “We’re evaluating why it is exactly that I didn’t know soon enough that it wasn’t going to work the way it needed to. But my priority now has been to just make sure that it works.”

Translation: “We’re investigating why I wasn’t made aware of my responsibility regarding the operational status of the Obamacare system, and had to find out about it on the news the same way you did. The investigation will ultimately absolve me of all culpability because, after all, I didn’t built that on my own, somebody else built that for me.”

Butt here’s the only real news out of the Babs interview: Big Guy is apparently NOT planning to run for a third term! He noted that when his second term is over Malia will be in college butt Sasha will still be in high school, and they don’t want to move her away from all her little high school friends:

"So we've gotta—you know we gotta make sure that she's doin' well… until she goes off to college," the president said.

Quelle surprise! The Wons might not be moving back to Chicago after all! That is news. The last president to remain in Washington D.C. after his term expired was Woodrow Wilson – the first president to make “progressive” a dirty word for the better part of a century.

Anyway, the take away here is to note what a good father Barry is, always focused on the health and welfare of his loved Wons:

"'Cause she's, you know, obviously they–and Michelle–have made a lot of sacrifices on behalf of my cockamamie ideas, the running for office and things."

I trust that I need not point out they’re not the only ones who’ve made a lot of sacrifices because of his cockamamie ideas?

5.5 million individual plans cancelled so far

 

I’d pick my favorite cockamamie idea, butt goodness, I don’t even know where to start!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Patricia Redd Dobbs, Susana Patrick, Janet Moorhead, Red Target, Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network