MOTUS A.D.: I Wonder What the Half-Life of ISIL is?

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Wonder What the Half-Life of ISIL is?

UPDATED

Lights! Cameras! Action!

EEEEWWWW! Is this the best we can do!?! And what the heck is wrong with his eyes? It looks like somebody plugged some marbles into his eye sockets. And those horns! (h/t Abenaki) – where the heck did they come from - and why didn’t I see them from my vantage point!? That’s just creepy, and somewhat inscrutable; just like the speech itself.

Just as with our last great Democratic President, the import of this event depends on what the meaning of IS is; specifically, on what the meaning of the IS in ISIS is– all we know for sure is that it doesn’t mean “Islamic State.”

While you’re still pondering that imponderable, allow me to summarize BHO’s 4-part strategery, as developed and conveyed to him by his highly experienced staff of former chauffeurs:

1) air strikes, like in Somalia and Yemen because that’s working out so well, 2) find some Arab allies (good luck with that), 3) try to get the Sunnis “on message” (good luck with that) and 4) rebuild the Iraq army (again).

Oh, and we’re going to mobilize the international community. Because…community! And that’s what community organizers do.

To quote a highly trained drunk-blogger: “Poor Mesopotamia.”

So, in closing, let me assure you that ISIS is just a bunch of thugs with no vision. No wait…isn’t that us? It’s all a bit confusing. Butt I do know this much:

Our objective is clear: We will degrade, and ultimately destroy, ISIL through a comprehensive and sustained counterterrorism strategy.

Just ram that objective of yours into a clear plastic binder and we’ll have ourselves a real plan. Because unless you’re a Republican, keeping stuff in binders is a perfectly good idea.