The Cheese Stands Alone. (Not because it’s so smelly)

It’s certainly not the first time we’ve celebrated cheese around here (see: “Rats Jump Ship; All that Remains is de Brie” - a don’t-miss rerun from the MOTUS vault) butt did you see that we’re having an official Big Cheese Day at the White House? 

Isn’t every day Big Cheese Day around here?

“On Wednesday, January 29th, with a nod to history (and maybe the TV show the West Wing), the Obama Administration is hosting the first-ever virtual "Big Block of Cheese Day," during which dozens of White House officials will take to social media for a day long 'open house' to answers questions from everyday Americans in real-time on Twitter,Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and via Google+ Hangout.”

Yes, Big Guy’s Big White will be following in the footsteps of the lesser presidencies of Thomas Jefferson:

"The greatest cheese in America for the greatest man in America."

This was the motto on the box containing the mammoth cheese sent to Thomas Jefferson at the White House on the first day of January, 1802. It was a gift from a number of foreign-born citizens of Pennsylvania, who sent it to the President in token of their appreciation of his annual message setting forth his views on naturalization. The cheese was made in West Chester, Massachusetts, and weighed 1,235 pounds. From West Chester it was drawn to Washington in a wagon pulled by six horses, taking many weeks for the journey. When it reached the White House, ceremonies were held and Mr. Jefferson made a speech in which he said he would accept the cheese provided the donors would permit him to pay two hundred dollars for it, or fifty percent more than its market price. [ed: PAY for it? What a schmuck!]

and Andrew Jackson,

Jackson also received a number of large cheeses, which were "set out" as a form of refreshment for White House guests. Andrew Jackson's cheese came from a dairyman named Meacham, of Sandy Creek, New York. At the White House reception on Washington's Birthday, this gift to President Jackson had a conspicuous place, the incident being described by a chronicler of the day thus:

"It had been officially given out that the President's mansion would be thrown open to the people on this day, and that they would be entertained with a cheese, four feet in diameter, two feet thick and weighing fourteen hundred pounds, a cheese which beats the great cheese that was made an offering to Mr. Jefferson, as the most appropriate present the farming class could tender to the President."

Wallace and Gromit “cheese in on” Andrew Jackson’s first Big White “Big Cheese” Google+Hangout

I can’t tell you much about the actual cheese-in other than it will offer up plenty of stinky cheeses:

Cheese turds curds:

Specialty house cheeses:

Officially the smelliest cheese in the world

and maybe even a little vintage whine wine to go with it:

Interesting wine selection, I wonder what cheese it goes best with?

 

1 in 5 households on Food Stamps

Anyway, be sure to save the date, January 29th, for the maiden voyage of the virtual good ship Free Cheese:

All aboard! Enjoy the trip. Especially the first part, as I hear it doesn’t end well.

Butt it’s not the captain’s fault.

So, one last reminder: SAVE THE DATE! YOU SURE DON’T WANT TO MISS THIS!!!

Because I hear he’s going to offer a new solution for our economic woes: more cheese.

 

Linked By: Doug Powers, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Susana Patrick, Abby L Call on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

“If by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you.”

Did you see Lady M’s “shout out” to Big Guy’s dedicated “grassroots army?”

Not only was it an opportunity to thank OBOTS everywhere, butt it provided the little people with the first up close and personal look at the rest of the presents MO got from Big Guy for her Fabulous 50 birthday:

An eyebrow lift and new eyebrows:

Eyebrows from the exclusive road kill caterpillar line

a little lip enhancement:

Lips from the duckbill collection

and a bit of a cheek lift with filler:

Cheeks from the chipmunk pouch-filler collection

Unfortunately, the little eye is congenital and while we try out best to minimize it with makeup, the difference in size is still discernable - even when we blink:

Butt back on message: Lady M went to the video tape on the OFA’s first birthday to thank all of the little people who made it possible.

Technically it was the first anniversary of OFA’s transformation from Organizing For America - Big Guy’s grass roots campaign machine - to Organizing for Action – Big Guy’s grass roots political action and propaganda machine.

MO told the OFA volunteers “You’ve truly been bringing the change we all believe in.” {{{subliminal OBOT message alert:contribute NOW! }}}}  She went on to express her appreciation for all the OFA volunteers dedicated to promoting Boo-rock’s progressive agenda: the complete transformation of America through socialized medicine, gun control, immigration “reform” and environmental actions to control global climate change by shutting down conventional energy production and replacing it with government funded alternative energy. Like algae.

“So we take these surplus Solyndra solar cells, see? And we use them to fuel algae farms and before you know it we can replace cornahol with the much greener algae-fuel. Then the EPA mandates the use of biofuels in 75% of all new vehicles. Got that?”

Lady M’s multiple “ata-boys” and smiles of sincerely feigned gratitude alone would have been enough to keep the troops humping  BO’s flagging progressive policies for another year. Butt there’s more. All members in good standing of the Community Organizer in Chief’s official propaganda arm are now being duly deputized: we’ve finally got that “civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded as the military!”

  And as you can see, the boys are pretty excited about it. Or at least the Armani uniforms.

So Happy Birthday/Aniversary OFA! You’re Won year old! As a small memento BO has ordered the IRS to grant you a 501(c)4 “social welfare” designation! That authorizes you to raise unlimited amounts of money from any type of donor - individual, corporation or union – and funnel it wherever, without ever having to disclose your your donors!.

You’re welcome! And don’t think for a minute that getting your 501(c) isn’t a big f-ing deal. If you don’t believe me just ask the Hollywood conservative group “Friends of Abe” or any Teahadist organization. Not only do they not qualify for this special IRS designation, but upon further investigation they may well be  prosecuted for other, unrelated charges.

“And if by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you.” Don Corleone, The Godfather

 

Because the enemies of my friends are my enemies…or something.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Sharon Cox, Far North Dallas Tea Party Patriots on facebook, and @TurdBurglestein on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sundance Film Review #1: Afronauts

Well, I finally scored some Sundance tickets. I originally had tickets for “Mitt” butt I traded them for this premiere when I found out “Mitt” would be available on Netflix on January 24th. So instead I went to Afronauts, the  hottest short filum (that’s Sundance speak for “film”) at the “Dance” this year.

Afronauts is based (loosely) on a true story, translated into a photo essay by Spanish artist Cristina de Middel, brought to life for the silver screen by director Frances Bodomo, a Ghanaian filmmaker, and funded in part by Kickstart and a prestigious Alfred P. Sloan Foundation Film Grant. The film tells a mostly fictional tale (not unlike this review, and much of my blog, come to think of it) set in 1969 of the newly independent nation of Zambia’s unofficial efforts to beat the U.S. and U.S.S.R. to the moon. {{{SPOILER ALERT}}} They didn’t.

Fictional in most respects, “The Afronauts” nonetheless opens with an enlarged reprint of an actual letter from one Zambian minister to another, saying that “America and Russia may lose the race to the Moon, according to Edward Mukaka Nkoloso, Director of the Zambia National Academy of Space Research.” The program needed money, though.

Hey! I may have stumbled upon the ancestral lineage of all those Nigerian Bank Scams!

How about you give me $3500 and your bank account number, and I’ll send you $35,700,000.

With your help of only $5 a day, or more, this Zambian Afronaut will be ready to launch...

I did mention Afronauts was based on a true story, didn’t I?

Butt it was embellished a bit by the filmmaker, transforming an insignificant local story into a compelling “alternate history” of the 1960’s Space Race.

Not altogether different from how Big Guy and the compliant media transformed his rather insignificant life “story” as a local community organizer and lecturer of Constitutional Law into a compelling “alternate history” that drove the Presidential Race of 2008.  With all the art and artifice of a Hollywood blockbuster, BO’s  birth story,  composite life, composite loves, and composite education were spun into a tale of “the Won we’ve been waiting for.” Pure magic.  And the sequel has proved to be equally fantastical:  “alternative histories” of everything from  Obamacare, the unemployment rate, inflation, Benghazi, Fast & Furious...well, you get the picture. So take note: “alternative history.” It’s the way everything from the  1960’s “Space Race” to the “Great Obama Economic Recovery, 2009-2016” will be taught in Common Core. 

Butt getting back to the Afronauts: Frances begins our story in1964, where grade school science teacher Edward Makuka Nkoloso has established the Zambia National Academy of Science, Space Research, and Astronomical Research in an old farmhouse 7 miles outside of Lusaka, Zambia (That’s in Africa, for those of you at Sundance). He had no sheckels, butt he had HOPE. And what he hoped for was to launch a space girl (17-year-old Matha) and two cats into space before the Americans or Russians. 

To prepare his astronauts, Nkoloso rolled them down hills in 44-gallon oil drums or cut the rope of a swing at its highest point to simulate weightlessness. In the reimagining of Ms. Middel’s photo book of faux re-creation, she provides the story with high tech space explorer equipment Nkoloso couldn’t afford: spacesuits sewn from African fabric, helmets made of streetlamp globes and abandoned concrete-mixing drum space capsules.

Street lamps and concrete mixing drums: I’m starting to see some possible problems.

According to Nkoloso, the lack of money and a proper space ship were not his biggest problems. In a letter he wrote to another Zambian Minister, he complained that his budding astronauts “don’t concentrate on spaceflight.” “There’s too much lovemaking when they should be studying the Moon.” Eventually, his “first colored space girl,” Matha, became pregnant and was punished with a baby so her parents made her go home. Advantage USA/USSR!

I’m going to buy Big Guy the DVD as soon as it’s released because I know he’s still struggling with how to fundamentally transform our NASA program now that  our “mooslim-centric” space project is in the can.

 

And I know he’s always looking for another Obamacare squirrel.

Maybe this is just what the doctor ordered.

 

That’s all for now, I’m off to a Sundance afterglow.

HOPE I get to bump frames with some celebs!!!

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The Age of Obama: Race Hustling and the Composite War On Women

 As soon as Big Guy embraced the racism canard, it began to loose its panache.

The president told Remnick that he believes his job approval ratings are distorted by how Americans respond to race and those who are predisposed to dislike African-Americans are not going to support him or his initiatives.

Aside from professional race hustlers like Van Jones; (“It’s not surprising to me race comes up when you have the first black president, elected so quickly [ed. 50 years?] after the Civil Rights Movement.”) most of the Progs have temporarily routed themselves around the racism car wreck. Others have tried a new tactic: calling people racists for electing a puppet black man. This argument didn’t carry any water when first made in 2008, butt who knows, it might gain more traction now, in the Age of Obama.

Rev. William Barber II, president of the N.C. NAACP calls Sen. Tim Scott a “puppet” 

(Rev. William Barber II) recognized Martin Luther King Day by labeling black senator Tim Scott a puppet for the Republican party. “A ventriloquist can always find a good dummy,” said Reverend William Barber II, the president of North Carolina’s NAACP chapter.

“The extreme right wing down here,” he said, “finds a black guy to be senator and claims he’s the first black senator since Reconstruction and then he goes to Washington, D.C., and articulates the agenda of the Tea Party.”

Maybe the NAACP should change its name to NAACPLM: the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Like Me. 

For his part, Senator Scott tried to discredit his critic by being the bigger man: a typical, insidious, Tea Party teahadist tactic:

“To reflect seriously on the comments a person, a pastor, that is filled with baseless and meaningless rhetoric would be to do a disservice to the very people who have sacrificed so much and paved a way,” Scott told The Daily Caller in an emailed statement. “Instead, I will honor the memory of Dr. King by being proactive in holding the door for others and serving my fellow man.  And Rev. Barber will remind me and others of what not to do.”

Anyway, since we’re giving the race card a rest for awhile, this week’s new squirrel is sexism. Specifically, all the “sexist right wing haters” who are hating on Blonde-Catheter-Filibuster-Barbie, aka Wendy Davis.

The devil wore Escada

All she did was forget to “tighten up her biography” for crying out loud. Like Big Guy, she told her life story using composite people and composite facts. So alright, a few of her facts were…uh, lies. As we’ve seen before with BO, the story is more important than the veracity of the story, so you don’t see the left wing networks and bloggers jumping all over this phony scandal do you? No you don’t. Ipso faso: RIGHT WING WAR ON WOMEN!

Then, when the poor little woman took to Twitter to defend herself against her big, mean, male, (paraplegic) gubernatorial opponent who she accused of “manufacturing” this outrage:

the big mean right wing hating machine attacked her again.

or, like some really big muckety muck Democrat might say...

So, just a reminder: since the race based outrage machine is on sabbatical for awhile, be sure to change out your Race Card for the Sexist Card.

Me neither, honey, me neither.

Same tactic, different special interest group. So get your lady parts ready for outrage: we’re charging into the REPUBLICAN WAR ON WOMEN and we will need every enthusiastic recruit we can round up.

And by the way, making fun of progressive women for the way they look is most certainly sexist.                

Do NOT refer to Debbie as “Poodle Ears.”

I’m not sure if making fun of what these funny looking progressive women say is sexist as well, butt I’m guessing yes:

Multi-millionaire Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro identifies income inequality as the country’s key existential threat:

On the House floor last Wednesday DeLauro said, “Every generation of leaders in this institution has faced their own time of testing. Whether it’s an economic panic, Great Depression, slavery, Jim Crow, Civil War, World War, Cold War. There are times when our country is confronted with a crisis that poses an existential threat to our nation and our way of life and Congress needs to stand up and act.”

“The test of our time is inequality,”

Now I’m confused: is our biggest existential threat income inequality or the WAR ON WOMEN?

I’m going with “both”

Linked By: American Digest, and Abby L Call, Candace Crider, Susana Patrick on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

“We need to stop Government from controlling the American People”

Did you see Senator Pat Leahy on Chris “Meatloaf, Jr.” Wallace’s Fox News Sunday show?  He made this rather astonishing revelation: American people are at risk of being controlled by their government!

I hate to say “I told you so” butt, you know…

It’s as if something deep in his brain snapped and he just realized that government can be, well, dangerous when “it” rather than “the people” hold the power.

“The concern everybody has is allowing our government to have such a reach into your private life, my private life, and everybody else’s, that we are, we have the government controlling us instead of us controlling the government.” (snip) the Vermont Democrat and chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee told host Chris Wallace that the nation’s lawmakers must act to return control of the government to the people.

Sounding more like an R-word than the progressive, Obama lapdog that he is Leaky uncharacteristically worried out loud that “the government” is controlling “we the people” instead of the other way around. He went so far as to say that when “the people” lose control of their government it can make “the people” do things that “we the people” do not want to do. Wow! Insight. Cue the light bulb!

Finally! HOPE! An Obot who want's to put “we the people” back in charge of government! To stop making us do things we don’t want to do – like buy Obamacare! Oh. No…hold the phone...he was just talking about the NSA spying on “we the people.”

He’s still okay with the government making us do other things that we don’t want to do. He feels altogether different about Obamacare.  Despite a  2011 the 11th Circuit Court of Appeal ruling on Obamacare that said:

“This economic mandate represents a wholly novel and potentially unbounded assertion of congressional authority: the ability to compel Americans to purchase an expensive health insurance product they have elected not to buy, and to make them re-purchase that insurance product every month for their entire lives.”

Leahy stuck with the position he staked out earlier when CNSNews asked him in 2009, “Where, in your opinion, does the Constitution give specific authority for Congress to give an individual mandate for health insurance?” 

"We have plenty of authority. Are you saying there is no authority? … Why would you say there is no authority? I mean, there’s no question there’s authority. Nobody questions that.”

Translation: “Authority? You think we need specific authority? I don’t know that much about the constitution butt I know that Congress doesn’t need any specific authority to make laws for the little people to follow.”

So I guess Progs suffer selective outrage over tyrannical government actions. They’re not victims of the hob goblins of consistency.

Anyway, it seems to be open season on Big Guy lately. And I hate to say it, butt it seems pretty obviously racist to wait until this week – when we celebrate Martin Luther King’s accomplishments – to attack him.

Even Vladi jumped into the fray:

During an interview on ABC's "This Week," Russian President Vladamir Putin noted that President Obama was a good promoter of sports and was in "terrific shape."

"Barack is a huge sports fan. And I can see it," Putin said via a translator to host George Stephanopoulos. "He's in terrific shape and gives it enough of his attention, not just to playing sports, but also to promoting sports."

Some people have accused Vladi of saying that black men are only good at sports. If that’s the case, he apparently has never seen BO shoot hoops. Or play golf. Maybe what he was actually implying is that because Big Guy plays hoops and golf all the time, and has so many parties for sports champions, he hasn’t had time to “keep his eye on the ball” e.g., he let NSA leaker Edward Snowden slip out of the country with a zillion gigabytes of national security data to peddle.

Boy,that little Pootie, he’s certainly inscrutable! And whatever do you think he meant by this non-sequitur?

"Politics should not interfere with sports," he said. "And sports should impact politics."

I don’t know what he meant; is shooting an Olympic sport?

Butt I do know this: Putin isn’t concerned with income inequality in his country right now. He’s more concerned with dealing with terrorists: by any means necessary.

Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

I know it would be a blow to his self-esteem, butt perhaps Big Guy should pay a little closer attention to what Putin is trying to tell him.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Lady M’s Eyebrow Re-Vitamization Secret

Now that the dust has cleared from the Fab Fifty Fest we can get down to more serious matters. Specifically, eyebrows. I know there has been much interest expressed in how, exactly, Lady M revitamized her eyebrows so dramatically. Tattoos? Asian caterpillars?

You may not be aware of the vast number of options available for this distressing problem. Let’s explore a few of them, shall we?

First there are SmartBrows, which, seem a natural for a woman of Lady M’s educational pedigree:  

Part of what makes them so “smart” is the informational brochure that comes with them, identifying exactly why you need them in the first place. I don’t have room for the entire instructive tutorial (you can study the whole thing here when you have time) butt here are a few excerpts:

Did you know that thinning eyebrows are one of the very first—and most easily quantifiable—visible signs of aging?

The truth is, crow's feet—along with fine lines, wrinkles and dark spots, while we're on the topic—have created a tremendous moneymaking opportunity for the beauty industry. Sadly, though, there's no long-term solution for these concerns…On the other hand, voluptuous, well-shaped brows make an immediate difference in your perceived age. If such a thing as an anti-aging miracle exists, it's a brow makeover.

Wow! It’s like they’re talking directly to Lady M! Her lovely, luxurious brows have, over the years, more or less gone missing.

More help from the SmartBrows tutorial:

WHY BROWS MATTER
Eyebrows are one of the most defining features a person has. They frame the face,

convey emotion,

and, when shaped properly, make the eyes look brighter and the cheekbones more defined.

Speaking in terms of physical features, nothing—other than a full head of hair, perhaps—is more integral in one's youthful good looks than a great set of eyebrows.

 

HOW TO DEAL
In the 1990s, it was all about "permanent makeup" (e.g., getting brows tattooed on)... but we all know how natural and appealing that looks.

Nowadays, there are brow implants, which work somewhat like hair plugs. More natural-looking than the spoils of a visit to the tattoo parlor? Most definitely. Less extreme? Not so much.

Boy! I’ll say! Just ask Anna Pursglove. She sure had an extreme makeover.

Somehow the eyebrows don’t strike me as Anna’s most crucial hair issue.

It’s really too bad that Anna didn’t know about the amazing new SmartBrow:

There's also an under-the-radar product called SmartBrow, which, as its name suggests, is an innovative way to get better brows. What sets it apart from pencils and powders is its unique formulation, which leverages polymers and binds microscopic hair-like fibers to your existing brows as well as fills in any thinning or sparse spots.

Wow! “Leverages polymers and binds microscopic hair-like fibers to your brows,” really!"? And they “will stay put all day?” For only $29.95 (on sale now) that sounds like a bargain.

If it were me though, I’d have gone the MicroArt™ Semi-Permanent Eyebrows route:

They last up to 3 years! Now that’s what I call good value. And not as itchy as some of the other options.

Although, the fullness of your brows may not make that much of a difference for those suffering with BRF syndrome.

For those afflicted with BRF, the best solution remains a good vacation and a trusty pair of shades:

Preferably on someone else’s dime

Or, the youthful, carefree look of bangs:

Although with bangs you need to keep in mind that as the evening wears on, you may need to do a bit of extra grooming:

So, today’s takeaway: if you suffer from thinning hair associated with normal aging, there are now multiple options available, at different price points, so it all depends on “what’s in your wallet?

You should explore all options before deciding because while hair plugs may be the obvious solution, it may not be the best answer.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @Standlow on twitter, and Abby L Call on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network