Monday, February 9, 2015

Vote For Your Favorite Next NBC Nightly News Reader

If it was CBS instead of NBC there would only be 60 Minutes left on the clock ticking down on Brian Williams.

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So before they select his replacement I thought it might be helpful if we weighed in with our preference for the new face of NBC’s Nightly News. It’s a shame that Joanie Rivers left us so soon, as she would have been my hands down favorite.

joanie rivers successInstead of thinking what everyone else was saying: how refreshing.

So Little Mo and I have rounded up the rest of the usual suspects for your consideration. Please review carefully and then cast your vote(s) for the reader that you’d most like to see fill Brian’s heroic shoes.

Here, in alphabetical order, are our candidates:

  • Ted Baxter

index"This is Ted Baxter wishing you goodnight... and good news."

As the long time news reader at WJM-TV in Minneapolis, Minnesota Ted practically invented good natured journalistic incompetence.  So he’s definitely got the chops and, I’d say, the look.

  • Howard Beal

Howard has the chops too, butt I’m afraid that anger management issue might stand in his way:

  • Kent Brockman

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And before you say “MOTUS, you can’t have a cartoon character as the face of NBC Nightly News,” think about what you’re saying.

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  • Ron Burgundy

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Not only does he have the experience, he’s got a history with NBC (SNL). And his two films raked in over $260 million - that’s what we’re talking about!

  • Chelsea Clinton

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Another NBC veteran, she already knows what it’s like to “land under sniper fire” - and her mom is the next President of the United States! Think what that could do for ratings.

  • Stephen Colbert

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The Millennials first choice, after Twitter, for news. Considered a longshot at this point as he’s slated for taking over CBS’ Late Night news desk from David Letterman.

  • Esteban Colberto

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It’s Stephen Colbert without the CBS baggage. Plus, he’s got that “Mexican thing” going for him. Do not write him off.

  • Katie Couric

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Katie has spent her long sabbatical from the news getting totally re-groomed in order to once again be the perkiest anchor evah! Kat is now a real cougar again and since she smells blood she’s prowling with claws bared…stay tuned!

  • Lester Holt

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Lester’s definitely got Joey B in his camp: "I mean, you got the second mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." Could be a shoo-in.

  • Matt Lauer

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Old chrome dome has a long history with NBC, plus nothing – and I mean nothing - would make the morning crew happier.

  • Chris Mathews

‘Nuff said!

  • Andrea Mitchell

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She’s been re-groomed more often than Katy and Madonna put together, butt the results are questionable. And after this critical comment she made about Big Guy: “You don't use the word Crusades, number one, in any context right now. It's just too fraught. And the week after a pilot is burned alive, in a video shown, you don't lean over backwards to be philosophical about the sins of the fathers,” I’m going to have to say she’s a very long shot, butt you’ve got to admire her knee jerk reflex to rein in free speech.

  • Less Nessman

Before you count Less out just because his experience has been exclusively radio up to this point, watch this moving video reportage:

With that emotive ability I think he’s got a shot. We haven’t seen honest empathy like that since Ann Curry was sent packing.

  • John Stewart

The Millennials second choice for nightly news. And he’s not afraid of Bill O’Reilly; I understand that’s what NBC is looking for.

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  • Barbara Walters

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Legacy favorite. Sure she’s old, butt at this point what difference does it make? She can be “groomed” one more time if we need her.

I know I skipped over several others: The Reverend Al, George Clooney, Keith Olberman, Al Gore. Butt they’re all pretty busy doing other pretty important stuff. So cast your vote(s) for your favorites. As always, Chicago Rules apply, because were talking Journ0lists!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and American Digest, and Maggie’s Farm, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on RedState and Patriot Action Network