Neoprene: It’s the New Lycra

Why didn’t I think of this? Industrial schtrength neoprene - approved by the Professional Association of Diving Instructors – over industrial strength Spanx.

Neoprene (or polychloroprene) is a family of synthetic rubbers that are produced by polymerization of chloroprene. Neoprene exhibits good chemical stability, and maintains flexibility over a wide temperature range. It is used in a wide variety of applications, such as laptop sleeves, orthopedic braces (wrist, knee, etc.), electrical insulation, liquid and sheet applied elastomeric membranes or flashings, and automotive fan belts.

This schtuff can be used for anything! Everything from fashionable scuba diving wet suits (with matching scuba car coat)

– to Lady M’s fashion forward “sunrise-printed scuba car coat and structured dress made of a light neoprene fabric”  which was a huge hit:

“Obama selected a breathtaking sunrise-printed scuba Monique Lhuillier coat and matching dress that managed to encapsulate both beauty and serenity in one swift motion.” - InStyle 

Because you can’t get distinctive folds like this with regular fabrics.

For this kind of dramatic effect you need a lot of rubber:

…and an injection molding machine. Of course Lady M’s neoprene mask is custom made:

Butt if that’s out of your price range there are mass produced neoprene facial treatments available as well:

  And while I’ve heard that neoprene can be uncomfortable:

That’s a small price for fashion. So I’m going on record right here, right now and declaring that neoprene is the new lycra.

Now, on to the Japanese State Dinner. I know you’re wondering what delicacies from Lady M’s Garden of Good and Evil could possibly be on the menu this early in the season:

Forsythias! And don’t they look lovely on the new Kailua blue China?

For the occasion Lady M choose a lovely frock with an embroidered feather-motif and a full tulle skirt by Tadashi Shoji, thus continuing our habit of patronizing the visiting dignitaries.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what beverages were served at dinner: sake of course - Dassai’s 23 for a toast – and a Freeman 2013 “Ryo-fu” Chardonnay. And everyone got a complimentary set to-go in a handy neoprene wine tote.

  “I just want to say one word to you son, ‘neoprene’.”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network