A Tale of Two Biddies

Let’s start with Hillary: it would seem that all that yoga training finally paid off.

H/T Oleg

It kept Hillary so calm and reined in during the Bengazi hearings that she was declared, hands-down, the victor in the MSM’s much hyped “Hilz v. GOP” matchup.

So as a nod to all the little people who helped her lie, deceive and obfuscate her way out of the Benghazi/email mine field, Hilz threw them a little party at her house. And as an acknowledgement of the role Yoga played in keeping her from coming across as the complete shrew she is behind the scene, she served food and beer from the land that gave us Hatha, Bikram, Ashtanga and Vinyasa.

              

Since the payoff was so huge I’m sure that Ambassador Stevens and his 3 dead staffers would approve of Hillary and her staffers enjoying some fine ethnic fare in – more or less – their honor.

Here’s to Chris! Yay!

Oh, and I guess you already heard that Lois Lerner is not going to be prosecuted for her crimes either?

 

Little flack Lerner

Sat in the corner

Refusing to tell a lie

So she acted quite numb

Remaining perfectly mum

And thought “What a good girl am I!”

Just a couple of hookers, let off the hook.

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“I’m Worried Now, But I Won’t Be Worried Long.”

The one truth Hillary spoke yesterday:

Indeed, she has thought about how this mess might impact her ascendency to the presidency almost obsessively for over 3 years now.

“Oh yeah, I’m worried.”

And she has lost a lot of sleep worrying if her emails would be recovered.

“And tired; I’m very, very tired of all this worrying.”

And by the way, who do you little pissants think you are questioning my integrity?

“Do you know who I am? Do you know what I’ve done?”

In what was a rather uncharacteristic display of Democratic bravado, Hillary resorted at one point to blaming the victim – heretofore a capital offense in progressive circles – by suggesting Ambassador Stevens was somehow responsible for his own demise. And then members of Hillary’s team on the committee did something no Democrat has done since before FDR - they expressed deep concern for the cost of something other than defense spending; Specifically, questioned the cost of the Benghazi investigation. 

In summary then: while Hillary may have been a bit worried prior to yesterday’s testimony, MSM consensus seems to be that nobody laid a glove on her. So we’re cool; no worries!

Because let’s face it – in the immortal words of that lovable little twit Tommy Vietor - “Dude, this was like two three years ago.”

So I’ve taken the liberty of selecting a tune that I think Hilz might want to consider for her official campaign song. I think it works better than Fleetwood Mac this time around; assuming she doesn’t consider the gender specific title to be a micro-aggression in the War on Women™.

A Worried Man – The Kingston Trio

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“But How Can It Be Like That?”

Let’s hope that after 3 years, 1 month and 10 days Hillary’s had enough time to figure out what difference it makes. That amount of prep time should even be sufficient for the likes of Joey B to get his answers straight.

And if old Dick Morris is correct (h/t SilverLady), old Hilz has little to worry about:

The Justice Department would never indict the putative Democratic candidate for president unless a alternative were waiting in the wings. And the reverse is true: Biden’s decision not to run is the clearest indication that no indictment will be forthcoming.

Still, there is hope that yesterday’s Rose Garden performance…

was just part of the continuing kabuki theatre that has consumed Washington. Alternate interpretation of the Rose Garden gig: Joey bows out gracefully so as not to be a spoiler; Hillary’s testimony does not, shall we say, go well. Indictment looming, Joey makes the supreme sacrifice and steps in to save the Democratic ticket just in the snitch of time (I believe that would be October 31).

All I know is that these Rose Garden affairs don’t often end the way you would expect.

At this point all I can say is “what difference does it make?”

So don’t ask “But how can it be like that?…Nobody knows how it can be like that.” – Richard Feynman

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“You Say You Want a Revolution?”

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.”

 

Beatles - Revolution

Maybe you’d like to discuss revolution (h/t Gerard) today; a notion - it seems - that is gaining more traction by the day. So much so in fact that your government has established a special Domestic Terrorism Counsel to keep an eye on you insurgent types.

 

For most of our lifetimes the concept of a second American Revolution has been unimaginable; the concept of taking up arms against our own government being discussed only by the looniest of loons in both camps, and even then only semi-seriously.

Butt then came The Won™ and his full-throttled progressivism, cheered on by millions, swearing to “fundamentally change” America into Europe West. Goodbye Constitution - we want to be more like Brussels! Fewer liberties, freedoms and guns; more beer, lace and chocolate!

All I know is that the subject of revolution pops up in the Google machine a whole lot more regularly than it ever used to. Perhaps that’s a good thing As they say “War is when your government tells you who the enemy is; Revolution is when you figure it out for yourself.”

 

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead

But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao

You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right?
All right, all right!
All right, all right, all right!
All right, all right, all right!
All right, all right

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#BetterMakeRoom for Joey

As I understand it this event, titled “Better Make Room,”  has something to do with Lady M being “hip” and encouraging 14-19 year olds (“Generation Z” – I guess that stands for Zombies) to be “hip” like her by going to college.  And to prove how hip she is she teamed up with all variety of social media machines, such as Vine, to get her cool message out:

Because that’s just how hip she is. However, there was a double entendre here. The event was also meant to be a not-so-subtle message to Hillary: #BetterMakeRoom for Joey. Because he’s been waiting for this call since 1988.

That’s right, he’s been waiting in the wings, getting those hair plugs planted, those teeth capped, honing his gaffe skills and finally…it’s his time: he’s ready for his close-up.

You want a piece of me?

This is about to get a lot more interesting.

h/t Blonde Gator

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The Zombie Apocalypse Will NOT Be Televised

Senator Chuck Schumer took to the microphone yesterday to warn America’s parents about a lethal threat to the welfare of their children -  Halloween face paint. Who knew?

Apparently some of the paint that parents intend to use to turn their little munchkins into scary monsters for the (marginally) acceptable holiday of Halloween is poisoned with deadly chemicals like lead, mercury and cobalt.

Anybody who remembers mainframes knows how dangerous Cobol is

“These toxic ingredients can make a child sick, but they’re never listed on the package,” Schumer pointed out, holding up makeup palettes by Rubie’s Costume Company, Wet N’ Wild Fantasy Makers, and Fun World as examples of potentially dangerous products.

I’m just glad we’ve finally got our priorities straight. So thanks, Senator, for clarifying who the enemy is: not  Russia, China or radical Islam butt rather, clowns and zombies.

I think he’s right. So let’s be careful out there.

This time the revolution will NOT be televised.

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If We Want To Be Like Denmark We Need a NEW New Deal.

“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

“One may smile, and smile, and be a villain. ” ― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

I award this week’s Captain Obvious award to Peggy Noonan for this astute observation:

The 2008 Democratic contest was a rush to the center, with both leading Democrats, Mrs. Clinton and Barack Obama, trying to show they were moderates at heart. The 2016 primary is a rush to the left. We are now not embarrassed to argue America should be more like Denmark. - WSJ

Sadly for our progressive friends however, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. As Kevin Williamson over at NR has been explaining for a long time, even Denmark doesn’t want to be like Denmark any more. 

So while Bernie wants to turn us into Denmark, Hillary just wants to turn us into pre-WWII America. That’s right: Hillary declared we need a NEW New Deal. At least she’s officially acknowledging that America is in worse shape after 7 years of Obamanomics than it was during the great recession.

“God hath given you one face, and you make yourself another.” ― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Jonah Goldberg, in “New Deals for as Far as the Eye Can See,” explains that Democrats have been lobbying for a New New Deal ever since the original under-performing model was introduced.

You can explain all day how the New Deal prolonged the Great Depression and they won’t care. They’re like our new canine visitor Pippa, who apparently thinks every moment is the best moment for a New Throw of the tennis ball.. After 9/11 Chuck Schumer raced to the pages of the Washington Post to explain that terrorism requires a new New Deal. After Katrina, liberals said “Aha! This proves we need a new New Deal.” Thomas Friedman has a shortcut macro on his keyboard that allows him to vomit up a column arguing that pretty much everything (but especially climate change!) requires, nay demands, a new New Deal.

They don’t always use the phrase “new New Deal.” Often, they use the hackneyed language of the “moral equivalent of war” instead (see this latest installment at The Atlantic of this ancient trope). But, as I’ve written 8 trillion times, that’s the same frickin’ argument.

And, as you’ve suspected all along, it isn’t really so much about you as it is about them:

The real appeal of the New Deal wasn’t its alleged success, it’s that the New Deal is synonymous with a time when progressives had nearly unfettered political power to do what they wanted. Liberals don’t really worship the New Deal, they worship themselves. The New Deal is just a talisman in their undying faith in their own ability to guide society and make decisions for others better than people can make for themselves.

I’m sure we can all empathize with Jonah’s exhaustion:

It’s all just so exhausting. And I guess what I resent most of all is the fact that I will spend the rest of my life arguing with people who not only think that their faith in progressivism and the State is smart and modern, but that their opponents are the ones who are stuck in the past. And in the process, they’ll keep making the country worse, with every failure providing the latest evidence that now, now, is the time for a new New Deal.

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't." ― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

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