Black Friday Massacre at the Mall

Police are reporting a shooting at the mall early this morning. The mayhem broke out as mall workers were putting the final touches on  Christmas decorations suspended from the second floor ceiling. Apparently a seasonal worker went postal at the beginning of his shift, firing  reindeer farts at close range into a group of his co-workers before fleeing the scene.  In all, 8 tiny reindeer were downed, their condition unknown at this time.

Another seasonal worker who was acquainted with the perpetrator said he seemed like an ordinary guy, “kind of quiet, and kept to himself,” but did note that he occasionally would complain about being bullied by his co-workers. “They used to laugh and call him names,” he said, “he must have just snapped.”

If you spot Rudolph T. Reindeer, which should be easy because of his bright red, flashing nose, police ask that you to contact them immediately.

h/t Thayrone X

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