An Ode To A Unique Kind of Madness

“And that’s why we keep saying no matter where you live in America, you need to wear a mask and socially distance.”

“But more importantly, if you're in multi-generational households…you need to really consider wearing a mask at home.” Dr. Deborah Birx

The good doctor’s recent advice led Sassy to start a Dr. Seussical homage:

“Need a Seuss poet to write a version of this: I will not wear one in my house, I will not wear one spouse. in my car. I will not wear one when I walk, I will not wear one when I talk. Etc. Can someone make that rhyme?”

Not quite up to Green Eggs and Ham standards, but here’s my attempt: (words by MOTUS, art work  compliments of Raj)

I do not like this mask and goggle sham,

I do not like your flimflam, ma’am!

 

I do not like them here or there

I do not like them anywhere.

 

I do not like them in the gym

I do not like them singing a hymn

I do not like them here or there

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like this mask and goggle sham,

I do not like this flimflam, ma’am!

 

I do not like them to run an errand

I do not like them on every Karen

I do not like them at the store

I do not like them answering my door

I do not like them in my bar,

Eating green eggs out of a jar.

I do not like them at my diner,

Where you’ll always find a whiner.

I do not like them in my car,

Or while I’m smoking a fine cigar.

I do not like them on my spouse.

I do not like them in my house.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

 

I do not like this mask and goggle sham,

I simply do not like your flimflam, ma’am!

Double Disclaimer:

I am not a poet so my iambic pentameters are off by inches if not meters; please don’t send the poetry Karens.

I dutifully wear face masks where required, which in Michigan is everywhere except your own house. I sure don’t want to be the one to spread the virus.