REPORT: FOX News Hires Crisis Management Team To Handle PR Over Ratings Crisis
Today’s musical selection is dedicated to all our little former friends at Fox. Apparently their mamas never taught them that you’ve got to dance with the one who brung ya. And that you never, ever, ever blow on another man’s dice.
“Luck Be A Lady”
But there is room for a doubt.
At times you have a very unladylike way of running out.
You're on this date with me.
The picking's have been lush.
And yet before this evening is over you might give me the brush.
You might forget your manners
You might refuse to stay
And so the best that I can do is pray
Luck, be a lady tonight.
Luck, be a lady tonight.
Luck, if you've ever been a lady to begin with.
Luck, be a lady tonight.
Luck, let a gentleman see
How nice a dame you can be.
I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with.
Luck, be a lady with me.
A lady doesn't leave her escort:
It isn't fair, it isn't nice.
A lady doesn't wander all over the room
And blow on some other guy's dice.
Let's keep this party polite,
Never get out of my sight,
Stick with me, baby. I'm the fellow you came in with.
Luck, be a lady tonight.
Luck, let a gentleman see
Just how nice—, how nice a—, a dame you can be.
I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with.
Luck, be a lady with me.
So yes, I’m sending this long distance dedication to Fox, who can’t be with us today. Or ever again.
ETA: Bonus song
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