Tuesday, October 5, 2021

Breakfast At (The Newly Woke) Tiffany’s

Continuing yesterday’s discussion of woke companies I offer today’s super-woke corporate candidate: luxury jewelry maker, Tiffany’s. You may recall Tiffany’s launched a new ad campaign a couple months back with a film featuring Jay-Z and Beyoncé (aka “the Carters”) in which the iconic butt

beyonce jay-z tiffany ad

sports the iconic Tiffany yellow diamond.

beyonce jay-z tiffany ad

The Tiffany diamond was found in a Kimberley diamond mine in South Africa (Botswana today) and was cut from 287.42 carats to 128.54 carats with 82 facets

The jewel has been worn by only 3 other women in the world, American socialite Mrs. E. Sheldon Whitehouse, Audrey Hepburn and Lady Gaga, making Beyoncé the first POC to don it! Extra-woke-credit to Tiffany’s on that first!

At the time the company’s Executive Vice-President of Product and Communications explained the new campaign in a press release :

“Beyoncé and Jay-Z are the epitome of the modern love story. As a brand that has always stood for love, strength, and self-expression, we could not think of a more iconic couple that better represents Tiffany’s values. We are honored to have the Carters as a part of the Tiffany family.”

Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!Woke!

So when I ran across this ad, masquerading as a information piece in the WSJ Magazine I was quite interested:

Tiffany & Co. has a long history with locks, dating back to the 1870s, when it sold functional padlocks. The lock shape later appeared as a decorative element on key rings, money clips, brooches and necklaces.

Tiffany-Co-18K-Yellow-Gold-Lock-pic-6100

Now the brand is mining this past for a jewelry line,Tiffany Lock, launching next year with four bracelets. “We created a unisex collection that offers a strong message of inclusivity,” says Alexandre Arnault, Tiffany & Co.’s executive vice president of product and communications, who has been charged with re-energizing the jewelry firm since LVMH acquired it earlier this year.

Made in 18-karat yellow and rose gold, and available with or without diamonds, the bracelets will feature a swivel clasp that evokes a padlock in a subtle way.

tiffany.IIjpgNot yet priced but a current rose-gold diamond pave bracelet goes for a bit over $30,000

So I have a few observations:

  • Apparently Tiffany’s thinks that “the epitome of the modern love story” involves branding, and, if we are to believe the celebrity news mags, (and we are) infidelity.
  • Brands once had Vice-Presidents of Marketing, now apparently they have an “executive vice president of product and communications” because the message is more important than the actual product in the land-of-the-woke.
  • Beyoncé is wearing a giant blood diamond; where does that fall on the scale of “woke” one wonders.
  • Tiffany & Co. has a long history with locks” – Goodness! Isn’t that offensive? I mean, isn’t it a direct reference to shackles, ankle bracelets and {{shudder}} slavery!? Are they sure they wish to dredge all this up?
  • The new bracelets “feature a swivel clasp that evokes a padlock in a subtle way.” Again with the slavery imagery? Mr. Exec VP of product and communications, you might need to brush up on your, um, product…and communication.

Anyway, I’m still awarding Tiffany an “A” for effort in the woke-a-sphere. I would just suggest they take a closer look at their product line in order to cull out any offensive pieces on offer. Because I swear, unless you have perfect eyesight, when perusing their catalogue this piece appears at first glance to say “TACO makers.”

tiffany-1837makers-square-pendant-in-sterling-silver-24-63448532_1003209_ED

But figuring that is just a bit too pandering for even the wokest of companies I took a closer look. It actually reads T&CO - all I can say is that the power of suggestion in advertising is extremely effective. So kudos again for all the woke effort that went into this campaign. Finally, the rich and famous can purchase their Tiffany keepsakes without suffering their white guilt.