Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm.

We’ll know for certain in a few hours, but if you ask me, Chicago is a shoe-in.

Not only did Big Guy bring his game, but also, Lady M bedazzled the house in her buttercup yellow wrap-sack with a bow while telling the IOC that her dad always wanted her to bring the Olympics to her home town.

She explained that it was her Chicago precinct captain father who first taught her how to manage around Washington:

"He showed me how to throw a ball and a mean right hook better than any boy in the neighbourhood," she said.

And that wasn’t just a story, it was a promise.

But the real give away on who was going to win the games came yesterday, when we went to the IOC ceremonies at the opera house. The Danish Choir performed.And while most of it was in Danish, the chorus was in English and perfectly clear:

“Barack. Hussein. Obama. Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm!”

I’m getting some new Nikes and UVA lenses for the big games.

Technorati Tags: michelle Obama,barack hussein obama,IOC,copenhagen,olympics 2016

Bringing Home the Bacon: It’s What We Do

Lunch was a bust: smorgasbord. Again. They do love fishy little things on bread with pickles over here. Oprah was not pleased either.

But look at Denmark's Queen Margrethe: you can just tell by looking at her that all she ever eats are sardines. On the other hand, Prince Henrik, the  Queen’s husband, seems to enjoy a cheese Danish occasionally. 

 

Danish Crown Prince Frederik and Crown Princess Mary - above, right: more fish eaters.

Queen Magrethe speaks English quite well,  so right away when she started yammering at us in her native tongue: “Når jeg så dem få ud af flyvemaskinen, og jeg så, hvor store deres bag ser i denne påklædning jeg troede, min gud, vil hun ikke har et spejl?” it raised my skepticism lens to code red.

I usually rely on TOTUS for translations, since he has all the language packs pre-loaded, but since he won’t arrive until later tonight, I had to run it through my laptop language converter. You won’t believe it, but – and this is a direct translation – it means “When I saw you get off the airplane, and I saw how large your behind looked in that dress I thought, my God, does she not have a mirror?”

A mirror!? Hellooo! Of course she has a mirror:a high-tech, state of the art one at that. I wouldn’t have told Lady M what Queenie said, except I want her to understand how important it is to allow me to deplane first from now on.

Just to prove my point, please note these pics from the Copenhagen Opera House for the IOC opening ceremony, where I’ve been fully deployed:

Better, you must admit.  

And I hope you didn’t miss the symbolism of this beautiful gold dress: We are definitely bringing home the gold, in more ways than one.

Technorati Tags: Michelle Obama,IOC,Copenhagen,Chicago Olympic bid

Oh, O, Oh.

Wow! If you think Lady M created a buzz here in Copenhagen, you should see the Oprah adulation. It’s scary to think what will happen when Big Guy gets in later tonight. The best Brazil could do was Pele.

It’s not that we thought for a moment that MO couldn’t pull this miracle off by herself, but it never hurts to throw in a little extra star power. Besides, MO and BO have never won an election without Oprah so it didn’t make sense to take a chance. Here we are giving our joint campaign pitch, just like in the old days. As you can see, O’s also a big fan of the cinched sausage look. Even with a little help from my refracting trans-imaging, Oprah is still the best way to make MO look slim. That’s why she’s Lady M’s BFF. Just thought you’d want to know.

This morning we met with the Prime Minister over a few Cheese Danish, and now we’re off to see the Queen. Lunch at Amalienborg Palace, I hope they don’t serve those little fish sandwiches again: the smell lingers for days.  Other than that, looking forward: MO loves looking down on the wee Royals.

Back later with pictures and a lunch review.

Technorati Tags: Copenhagen,2016 Olympics,Oprah

Olympic Gold

We have arrived in Copenhagen to begin the heavy lifting required to win the Olympics for Chicago in 2016.  And not to distract from our main objective, but here’s a teachable moment: I realize it’s not protocol, but Mo is just going to have to find a way to let me de-plane first if she doesn’t want these big old butt shots blasted across the internet. Sheeze, especially if she’s going to wear psychedelic panda prints.

But back to business. We’re here, of course, to apply Chicago style influence to win the games for Lady M’s native city. She brought Valerie Jarrett to help because Rahmbo is busy back in Washington strangling small animals to send to senators who aren’t voting for Big Guy’s health care bill. After spending some time on the plane on the way over with these Ladies Who Eat Your Lunch, I’m going to say we don’t really need him. Wouldn’t need BO either, except his appearance was one of the Dane’s prerequisites in return for their vote. While MO is a natural at this game, having been raised in Chicago where quid pro quo was practically invented,  Val is no slouch on this circuit either. I’m sure she’s delivered more than one dead fish back in the day.

So we’ll be spending today meeting with just about every IOC delegate that can vote for us and showing them the old Chicago “hospitality” if you know what I mean. Because ACORN has been banned in Denmark, we’ll have to explain carefully that they are only allowed to vote once, so make it count.

Things are going well. We’ve only been here a few hours and we’ve already allocated enough “goody bags” to fund 2 or 3 military coups in third world countries that capitalism has abandoned. I’m feeling pretty confident. I might even go so far as to guarantee that we’ve got a lock on the Chicago bid. Unless that bitch from Brazil ,Marisa Leticia includes a small bag of emeralds with the goody bags they’re handing out.And I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s our only real competition. I think you can tell by this picture of her husband’s (Luis Inacio Lula da Silva ) hand that she could easily be a member of the Ladies Who Eat Your Lunch club too.

I can’t wait to see former FOTUS Hillary Clinton again. We’ve come a long way baby.

 

Technorati Tags: michelle obama,chicago Olympics,Copenhagen,Valerie Jarrett

Reset: I’ll Give you 200 Nukes, You Give Me One Olympics

So, we’ve finally got the logistics worked out on our Copenhagen trip to bag a trophy for Chicago. Big Guy’s going to be able to join Lady M and BFF Oprah after all. It will be just like old times. General McChrystal is going to tag along too, since Bo hasn’t been able to squeeze in any face time with him in the last 6 months. Apparently there’s something about the war over in Afghanistan that he wants to jawbone about. That’s the problem with those military types: they always think that whatever they’re involved in is more important than your business. Or is that what Big Guy said about General McChrystal? I sometimes get confused when everyone around here is talking at once. And that happens a lot,  when we’re geeked about getting together with other celebrities. Especially Oprah. Honestly, it’s like a threesome or something.

I do hear some yammering that Bo doesn’t have his priorities straight. What with the new Iranian nuclear threat, healthcare reform, an inconvenient war (that George Bush started), a declining economy and a move afoot to replace the dollar as the world’s currency he should stay home and work on these things instead of heading off to Denmark to read our pitch for bringing the Olympics to Chicago. Might I remind these critics that we have a plethora of little people to do the work of the American people. Big Guy is the Lobbyist-in-Chief. Let’s let him do what he does best.

Technorati Tags: Copenhagen,General McChrystal,Chicago Olympics,Oprah,Iranian Nuclear threat

Angie Settles For Power

Angela Merkel won! We are very excited. I take back everything I said about her last August. At least I think we’re excited.It’s a bit confusing because she won another 4 years as German Chancellor with a shift towards the Conservative Right!? That doesn’t seem right, in the post O world, does it?

Big Guy did call, ostensibly to congratulate Angie. But what I think he really wanted to find out was how she managed to win an election when she didn’t even campaign in the last week. She was here! At the G-20 soiree. How IS that possible?

Bo’s all over it, because he has heard of German efficiency, and if they’ve got something that works even better than ACORN, he sure wants to know about it.

As far as Mo goes, on one hand she’s not thrilled with the win because of that “Most Influential Women” ranking. On the other hand, she heard that Angie let my cousin Greta go, so there’s less competition in the “lookin’ good” at the Heads of State tours. Greta’s now working as a studio artist for Martin-Missfeldt, just until something permanent comes up; maybe when Carla starts showing her age.

I probably shouldn’t show you how trans-imaging works, but I just want you to appreciate how much effort goes into making our clients look good. This is what Greta used to do for Angie: Just imagine what I have to go through – instantaneously - for Lady M every time we go out.

Technorati Tags: German Chancellor Angela Merkel,Paris Hilton,Martin-missfeldt

Monumental Task

We certainly did have a hectic week around here: first we had to apologize to everyone (again) for everything America did prior to 9 months ago, then there were the interminable photo ops at the Metropolitan,the  organic dinner where  Carla showed up acting like she was the new Jackie O,

the museum trip where we had to pretend that Andy Warhol was a serious artist, and then the Congressional Black Caucus dinner where we had to reassure the team, again, that Obamacare Means Free Healthcare For Everyone.  You would think that after that the family might chose to stay home on Sunday night – maybe have a little sushi and call it a week.

No. We have to tromp off to see the Washington Monument and Jefferson Memorial by moonlight.

As if they aren’t going to be there for ever (unless the Secret Service knows something I don’t, but I don’t think that’s it).

To be fair, the Won’s half sister and her fam were in town for a visit, so I suppose you have to show them around. It seems to me they came to see the sights more so than BO and MO, so the SS might have been able to chauffer them around, but I got the impression BO wanted to go.

I have noticed that when more than 12 hours pass between photo-ops, we do start experiencing the jitters around here, so maybe it is just that junkie thing. Fortunately, the press is a very reliable enabler. Here are a few snaps they took as we had fun on the National Mall:

 

I think you can tell though, that, despite her best impersonation of having fun, Lady M is having none of it.

On the other hand, it could be that Big Guy was just checking the Mall out to get some ideas for the design and placement for his own memorial some day.

 

Technorati Tags: Washington monument,Jefferson Memorial,Obama's

We Are The Ones You’ve Been Waiting On

The WaPo reports this morning:

Members of the Congressional Black Caucus and several thousand of their supporters wrapped President Obama in a warm embrace at a gala banquet Saturday night, as Obama reminded the crowd of the initiatives he has enacted in the early months of his presidency.

You could –literally – feel the love. My lenses were fogged up all night. And it’s probably just me, because sometimes I feel like I’m 24/7 with the Royals, but do you really think there’s anyone left on earth that needs to be reminded – again – everything that Big Guy’s done?

And then he goes on (and on):

“We’ve been waiting since the days of Teddy Roosevelt; we’ve been waiting since the day of Harry Truman; we’ve been waiting since Johnson and Nixon and Clinton,” Obama said. “We cannot wait any longer.”

We know, we know: “we are the ones we’ve (you’ve) been waiting for”. So Ok. Here you are:

Lady M is wearing a knee length black evening gown with diamond bangles (many) on her wrist.(Carla does seem to have made an impression on MO). And no, I don’t know what those feathery little fillips are.

 

 

 

 

 

But, as BO has reminded us, it’s not all about him (you).

Technorati Tags: 2009 Congressional Black Caucus Dinner