Big White’s Open Door Policy

OK people. You can calm down, so we had a couple extra guests for breakfast, what’s the big deal? So what if they showed up for a tour of the Big White on the wrong day? We just showed them some D.C. hospitality, for goodness sake – we were having breakfast anyway.

And besides, it happened way last month, on Veteran’s Day: long before Crasher-gate. This is just another example of FOX News trying to make us look sloppy and incompetent.

Honestly, we don’t need their help.

 

 

 

We just happen to have the most open, transparent administration ever. And we’ve demonstrated that we welcome all sides into the Big White. Remember?

We even invited that cop who acted stupidly over for a beer.

 

 

 

So our policy from day one has always been that we welcome all of the American people into our gracious home.

Some of our friends:

     

Some of our enemies:

Everyone, and I mean everyone, is welcome here.

Well, almost everyone. Hospitality does have its limits.

They’re Both Batt-y

Big Guy went out to the local Home Depot to put a plug in for home weatherization. He told the crowd that he thinks insulation is “sexy.”

Normally I’d say that was just too much information, but I have to admit, it’s beginning to explain a few things about MO’s wardrobe choices. See what you think:

Space age insulation

 

 

 

 

 

Strangely Layered retrofits:

 

Corning pink batt wraps:

   

And even a a couple that incorporates all three:

If you find insulation sexy too, you’ll definitely get off on this video. Don’t worry, it’s not X-rated:

Inflation In the White House (I’m Not Talking Cleavage)

Did you all see us on the Oprah show Sunday night?  It was magical. Well, ok, it was scripted - but then, what isn’t? It was really cute. Little Bo did his performance (no, not that performance) in the hall way.

Then we had some  playful sparring over who gives the best presents around here. Just between you and me, neither MO or BO would make the top 10 list in that category (I’m sure the Queen and Gordie B would agree with me). But those two O’s – they compete over everything!

The three sugar plum fairies

As I told you earlier, we wore a plunging neckline, sugar plum velvet dress (Azzedine Alaia,who also designed our Spanx/Speedo gown for the Nobel party) which coordinated with Oprah’s dress in a lighter shade of prune and Big Guy’s tie. And you wonder why we have 12 stylists on staff? These things don’t just happen, people.

I tried to refract Lady M’s dress length a bit longer over the gangly knees, but one of Lady M’s dozen stylists insisted that this is how she wanted it to look. I better spend some time catching up on my In Style mags this weekend. Apparently knock-kneed, bow-legged is an emerging fashion forward trend that we are promoting this season. I’m not sure how this turns into a money maker for Ikram or anyone else, however. Maybe it’s the leg glosser we’re promoting.

 

Then we got into the serious stuff: Oprah asked Big Guy how he would grade his first year as President. Good thing we practiced this one, because originally BO was going to say A+. Rahmbo said that might be going just a bit too far. So Big Guy gave himself "a good solid B-plus." I guess there’s been some grade inflation since I came out of the NASA Academy. Anyway, he said it’s a B+ because he hasn’t been able to get everything done yet, like Obamacare and Cap and Tax Trade. If he had gotten those through, it would’ve slid -along with his ratings - to a solid “F.”

So what do we have to be grateful for his year? The Tea Parties, ClimateGate leakers and Congress. Thanks for holding those bills up, guys.

Bowing To Tradition

Sunday was another big day. We were all over the television networks. And we also continued with our plans to celebrate the great American non-denominational, diversity-approved holiday of Festivus later this month,(in truth, we’ve been celebrating all year: at least with respect to the “airing of grievances” tradition) In the evening there was another lovely Christmas in Washington party and concert. A lovely celebration. And Lady M looked lovely too in a sleeveless, pleated little black jersey number:

Does it remind you of anything? That’s right. Marilyn didn’t wear stockings either!

It was another star-filled evening (aren’t they all, when the O’s appear?) marred only by one teensy little slip up. Big guy mistook Santa’s elves for some of the little royals from across the pond, and did one of his signature royal bows:

 

He finally got low enough to realize his error, and felt a little bit sheepish.

 

 

 

Over all though, he gave himself a B+ for the performance. More on Oprah and 60 Minutes later.

Weekly Contest: When Snarks Attack

picture via Touched By Fire. Mmm, mmm, mmmm

Welcome to MOTUS’ new Sunday feature: When Snarks Attack

You wrote, I quote, now time to vote. Each week I’ll highlight the best, pithiest comments from your weekly, uh, commentary.

So, I know, you want to know “how do I get nominated”? Ok, here’s how: post an especially snarky, pithy comment (sign with your “handle” if posting Anonymously or we might think you’re a troll from FOX). If that doesn’t work out for you, email me and I will send you a link to “Organizing for America” where you can contribute as little as $10, or as much as you think it will take. Here’s another hint: read rule #3 carefully.

Here are the rules:

1. Nominees are selected by a double secret committee who will not be identified and will remain on the committee until Toes needs a fall guy.
2. Members of Team Obama, Big White staff, DNC Talking Points staff as well as members of the White House Press Obama-Corps, including Reich Marshall Keith Olbermann, are ineligible unless they post comments as “Anonymous”.
3. Any comment highlighting something glorious or historic about our leader or leaderette, and ending with “MMM, MMM, MMM” will be immediately nominated as a finalist.
4. Anyone can vote for their favorite nominee, which - as is the case in many elections – may be against the ones you hate.

Word of warning: I am a dedicated member of Team Obama, so the rules can be changed, at any time and without warning. At my discretion, and especially when big contributors or members of the supportive media are involved, the rules may not be enforced at all, or they may be interpreted to favor our friends.

Now go do your patriotic duty as a loyal American and cast your vote(s). Did I mention that Chicago rules apply?

Nominees For The Week Of

December 6-12, 2009

(comments may be edited by moi)

1.FROM Golden Geese Land in Oslo:

chiron said...
What is with that gold number? She looks like a Capt. Morgan barmaid passing shots at a Tyger Woods Christmas BBQ.

2.FROM Golden Geese Land in Oslo:

Cinderella said...
MOTUS,
OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG.............

3.FROM Golden Geese Land in Oslo:

Mrs. P said...
The first ensemble must be the First Lady's nod to solar panel heating.

4.FROM Kennedy Center: Doo Wa’s and Hoo-ha’s:

Lulu said… I'll bet Scarlett never went through what Michelle Antoinette had to during the shoehorning into that gown. Her muffin top that usually erupted from the top of her high-rise Spanx moved upward significantly. Poor little squashed boobies!

5.FROM The Golden Goose Has Landed:

FLDemFem said...
I just saw Tim Gunn give some fashion advice on one of those little Falala thingys from Lifetime. Meechelle should take heed. He said, "If it looks like it belongs on the tree, it doesn't belong on you."

Cast your votes now, and track the results all week.

Keep your snark-a-licious comments rolling in and we’ll have a new contest next Sunday.

He Put In His Thumb, and Pulled Out a Plum…

You will not believe the prime time line-up this weekend. First, our Big White special with Big O ,the Big O’s and little Bo. Must see TV.

Sugar Plum Fairies 

And on “60 Minutes,”  Big Guy will be taking some people to the woodshed. "I did not run for office to be helping out a bunch of fat-cat bankers on Wall Street." he’ll tell host Steve Kroft. Ha, ha, ha. Of course not. Those fat-cat bankers, are the ones who GOT him into office. Tune in. This one’s going to be good.

And all this on the heels of Lady M being named Barbara Walters “Most Fascinating Person of the Year”! In case you’ve forgotten, Big Guy took this honor last year.

MO told Barbara her secret to her toned arms, that we’re so proud of: workouts!

"My personal routine hasn't changed much in the past 11 years," she said. "I really started right after I had Malia, our oldest, and some of that was, you know, in all honesty it was a little sort of revenge because I'm married to a man who has worked out all of his life. And regardless of how busy he is, he finds the time to work out. And there was a point at which I got a little resentful of that."

No! I cannot believe Lady M ever had a resentful bone in her body! Can you? There’s your sound bite, Larry King.

Just in case your curious, other people on Bab’s “fascinating” list are:

Kate Gosselin, Glenn Beck, Brett Favre, Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Tyler Perry, Sarah Palin, First Lady of South Carolina Jenny Sanford and Michael Jackson's three children, Prince Michael Joseph, 12, Paris Michael Katherine, 11, and Prince Michael II, 7, who were counted as one person. (That’s Democratic Congressional math.)

Oslo Runway Review

Winging our way home now! One of our most successful trips ever. And before anyone gets started with me, I just want to deny the rumor started by my buddy Dewey: NO. TOTUS did NOT get the the West Point speech mixed up with the Oslo speech. Let’s just say, as they do in politics, that we’ve had a focus shift, based on the most recent poll results.

And good news. The only apologizing Big Guy did over here was for not deserving the honor of winning the Nobel. My advice: stop apologizing for that too. After all, we WON!

Now, what you’re really interested in: a re-cap of the Oslo runway show with Lady M.

Here we are departing Big White Wednesday night (after Raj’s b-day party) en route to Oslo. MO wore our cropped jacket by Azzedine Alaia, pants, and black flats (they make Big Guy bigger, no ?)

On Air Force Won, we changed into our arrival outfit. This is a do-over from the ceremony at Arlington Cemetery during the inauguration. Recycling: we’re all over it.

The Lady M signs autographs for the Norwegian Nobel Committee in Oslo, Norway on Thursday, wearing one of our favorite snuggies with a “petrified” flower pin grown in our own organic garden.

Here, Lady M pulls out all the stops wearing a Calvin Klein gold leaf gown befitting a queen. To fend off expected attacks of “imitating royalty” from the right-wing attack machine, MO demonstrates her commitment to diversity by removing nits from Big Guy, just like they do in BO’s homeland Kenya, before entering the Royal Castle in Oslo on Thursday.

When we arrived for the Nobel Peace prize award ceremony at the City Hall in Oslo on Thursday, we wowed the crowd by reprising the Nina Ricci cardigan we wore at the inauguration (continuing our commitment to saving the world, one recycled garment at a time). Just be happy I won on the belt.

My bad here. I assumed that since MO was barefoot and the camera angle was low, Big Guy would look, well, bigger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, when you assume….

We arrived at the Nobel Banquet in Oslo wearing some of our favorite draperies over our pale blue Speedo. Gosh those people really are little aren't they.

We had to add the jacket in the unseasonably cold climes, to watch the torch light parade that the Oslots threw for us:

Here you get the full princess lampshade effect.

The parade was spectacular! They even had one float dedicated to the FOX news network:Norwegian troll dolls

But alas, every fairy tale must come to an end. And we left this morning for our long flight home.

Another do-over from the inauguration: a handsome camel and black Narciso Rodriguez that we wore to the “We Are the Won One” concert. We’ve been starving ourselves for days in order to fit into it again. Even so, we had to let the seams out a wee bit.

I’m sure our hosts understand the urgency that requires our hasty departure from their wonderful (but cold) country. We have to get back to save our team’s prime directives: Obamacare and Cap and Tax Trade. Also, Big Guy wants to get back before Toxic Tim lets another one of our banks slip out of our grasp.