Oh to be in England, now that the Won is here

Westminster Abbey

Please accept this lovely photo of Westminster in place of the customary personal postcards I would have mailed from olde London town. We’ve been rather busy, and I just haven’t had the opportunity to post them.

So let me get on with my report: We got Trumped again. You would think, being from the Windy City and all Lady M would know better than to wear a full skirt and fly-away hair. Butt I suppose after you’ve been gone awhile you forget the basics. So here goes, let me just get this part over with.

We went from the ridiculous:

In which Lady M demonstrates the dangers of getting caught in a vortex, and the real reason British ladies wear hats.

 

To the sublime:

Possibly the best we’ve ever looked. And no butt views! God bless the Brits and their innate sense of propriety.

Of course, there was everything in between. So I’ll do my best to give you a quick run-through:

Reviewing the Queen’s private stash of stuff:

 

 

 

 

 

 BO, practicing his numbers;

 

 

 

MO, practicing her signature crescent “O”

 

Here both of the “Os” are practicing for laying a wreath at the tomb of the unknown soldier at Arlington later this week.

 

Then we picked up the Camerons at 10 Downing Street for a little afternoon workout before the big dinner.

dancing

and donkey pong.

Then, the breathtaking Royal State Dinner:

Look – no tents at the state dinner! No cheap seats. Good idea.

Awkward toast to the Queen however. BO’s hesitating speech pattern tricked the orchestra into thinking that Big Guy was done with his wandering thoughts so they struck up the band prematurely, requiring him to plug on courageously over the strains of “God Save the Queen.”

Look – no TOTUS! Just cheap note cards. Bad idea.

So far today we met the Camerons at 10 Downing Street again

One digit off

for a BBQ for the troops – just like we do at the Big White!

 

Everyone looks like they may have been up too late and enjoyed a few too many toasts.

And we just wrapped up a press conference where nobody said anything, butt they said it about a dozen times each, so I’ll just skip that part.

Meanwhile back in the states, we understand Bibi gave a speech to the Congress and got 25 standing Os – more than Big Guy’s SOTU! Butt who’s counting, right?

Bottoms Up, Bottoms Out. WTF. In Ireland UPDATE: Beefeaters, all around

“Obama Leaving Early to Stay Ahead of the Ashes” Boy, how many times have I heard that before?

Butt Wow! Yesterday was an exciting day across the pond. For the first time in his adult life, Big Guy was proud to be an Irishman.

And while he has tasted the national Irish brewski before, he’s never savored it like he did yesterday.

As did Lady M, who -  I know you’ll never believe this – had never even sipped a black beer before.

Then, I know you’ve all seen that embarrassing little snafu with our lead bottomed limo at our very own embassy in Dublin:

Man, every time I hear that metallic “clunk” it sends shivers through my frame again. As you can imagine, it was terrifying. The Secret Service guys were mortified that we were all sitting ducks because of the big black heavy bottomed Caddy getting hung up on a little speed bump. The incident is still under investigation, butt it looks like somebody – and I’m not at liberty to say who - had a little too much Guinness. And/or corned beef. 

The rest of the day went fine.

The adoring crowds reminded the Wons of the old Grant Park days, only smaller

 

We decided red would be a good color for Ireland. *sigh* Well, at least it wasn’t orange.

The luck of the Irish parted the clouds and stopped the rain, butt it was still windy and cool so Lady M had to borrow a raincoat from the pub in order to stay warm.

Unfortunately raincoat management was not offered at Princeton:

or Harvard Law:

I’m thinking next time I’ll tell her it’s a “boob belt.”  That should make the concept clearer.

Then we had the meet and greet with the crowd, where the Wons hugged the adorable little red headed girl, who would have been a minority anywhere other than in Ireland.

Then, since we had to leave early, we had to find a place to change into our planned “departure” outfit…

in order to change into her “arrival” outfit in England:

So now we’re in Jolly Old England, where Scotland Yard has found it amusing to tag Big Guy with the code name 'Chalaque' – a Punjabi term which translates roughly to “Smart Arse.” Big Guy thinks they’re saying “Chilaquiles,” one of Lady M’s favorite dishes.

So don’t tell me the Brits are humorless! This is going to be a fun visit with the Queen.

No, honest! These are the real Wons! Not wax.

UPDATE: Because optics are everything

BO and Wills and Kate and MO: Awkward!

…and our Marilyn moment:

The Beefeaters

O’bamas Land to Put Moneygall on the Map UPDATED: Grinch spotted in Moneygall too

I’ve got a very busy morning, as you might imagine, butt just wanted to get this out to you from the olde sod.

As you can see, we did much better coming:

 

then we did going:

Petulant,

butt breezy:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Although the arrival was not without it’s WTF moments:

Lady M gets Trumped

So far we’ve met with what passes for a President here: a pasty white woman by the name of Mary McAleese. She seemed really nice though, and offered everyone a Guinness (a dark brew, fyi).

Then we went to plant a tree  50 feet from the sequoia that JFK planted in 1963. I didn’t get a good look at the tree Big Guy planted butt it looked like it may have been a dwarf fig tree. Either that or an apple.

And since the Irish are always so thoughtful,  the Irish President found the only child of color in all of Ireland to come to the tree planting so Lady M would have a child to hug.

Before I have to run, here’s an update from yesterday’s AIPAC meeting. Good news, the tattoo on Big Guy’s face turned out to be temporary,

it was not a gang symbol,

and had disappeared completely by the time he and Lady M left to visit one of his homelands.

UPDATE: Sara B thought she also spotted the Grinch in Moneygall:

and now, due to Sara B’s sleuthing, Jim Carey is demanding his hair back and threatening to sue for infringement of intellectual property.

Also filing suit under the same statute butt in separate proceedings, Cindy Lou has served papers on Princess Beatrice for copyright infringement.

I’m not sure, and certainly not looking to make trouble, but I think perhaps Jim Carey could add Princess Eugenie to the hair suit.

Linked By: Adrienne’s Corner and The Radio Patriot and Sad Hill News Thanks!

Apocalypse Mao and Frau

That yesterday was not the Rapture – the day the chosen ascend to glory – came as no surprise to anyone around here. As is commonly acknowledged, that occurred on January 20, 2009.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet your American Idols!!!

Of course, some still clinging to their guns and religion contend that inaugural WAS the beginning of the Apocalypse. Butt as you know, they were just showing their antipathy.

Knowing that it wasn’t going to be the End of Days, Big Guy marked the day by going about his usual business, golfing. And look! We’re dressed like a grownup today: long pants and a Blackberry!

Butt not before reading the weekly Saturday Radio Address, this one his 371st on education, one of Washington’s favorite money pits. This time our topic was why the “No Child Left Behind” (companion program to Lady M’s “No Child’s Fat Behind”) program needs more money:

We need to reward the reforms that are driven not by Washington, but by principals and teachers and parents.  That’s how we’ll make progress in education – not from the top down, but from the bottom up.  And that’s the guiding principle of the Race to the Top competition my administration started two years ago.

The idea is simple: if states show that they’re serious about reform, we’ll show them the money.

And that’s what we call “Washington logic.” Because by Big Guy’s own admission, the Booker T Washington school he was talking about yesterday managed the remarkable transformation by surprisingly non-monetary based reforms, they “created a culture that prizes hard work and discipline,” 

So now we know: if something isn’t working we need to throw more money at it, and if something is working we also need to throw more money at it. Especially if there are  special interests groups cheering you on with huge donations and voting blocks. BTW, in case you are wondering how states can show us they’re serious about reform: it translates to how much they demonstrate their ability to help us Win The Future. WTF.

Oh, and one last word on Lady M’s triumphant address at the West Point graduation banquet on Friday night:

Everyone agreed that talking to young cadets about her work to spotlight the “plight” of military families was a nice note for such a joyous occasion marking the end of 4 years of difficult education and training for our future military leaders.

And just as our troops need your leadership and support, their families do as well, because they sacrifice and serve this nation right alongside anyone who wears our uniform.

…And because only one percent of our country serves in the Armed Forces, a lot of Americans simply don’t know many – or any – military families. They aren’t familiar with the resilience it takes to get through a long deployment. They don’t know the courage it takes simply to turn on the evening news. They don’t fully realize the strength you need to move your family for the fourth or fifth or sixth time in a decade.

Oh dear, I wonder if she got her speech mixed up with the empathetic one she gives when she goes out with Dr. Jill to hand out onesies to military wives? She even wore the same sweater she wore to the baby shower.

One thing about Lady M, when she finds a theme she’s comfortable with, she likes to stick to it.

Two sure-fired winners: RED

This is the original appearance of the West Point Red, tarted up for the Glam holiday fashion cover.

And of course our other go-to comfort zone look, the boob belt, now in the new 2011 metal band silhouette:

We’re in good hands now, comrades.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal Thanks!