After That Townhall, I’m All A’Twitter

I think that went well, don’t you? The Twitter Townhall?

Uh, what button do I push again?

Big Guy certainly demonstrated his command of the new social media. And let’s not quibble about the fact that he didn’t Tweet back his answers, nor even constrain himself to the Twitter convention of 140 character response. He doesn’t have to, because…“I’m the President” Which, I'll just point out, IS fewer than 140 characters, as is “it’s Bush’s fault,” either of which would have been better answers then the long ones that Big Guy gave. For example:

On housing:

"The one thing that we can do is make sure that for homeowners that have been responsible, didn’t buy more house than they couldn’t afford…. Makes sure that they can afford to pay." [Ed. watch those double negatives: it sometimes appears as an attempt to purposely obfuscate the issue, or, minimally, makes the response confusing.]

"Given the size of the housing market, no federal program is going to be able to solve the housing [problem]."

Now, if only he can remember that concept as it applies to every other market of that magnitude – say, for example, health care.

On the Space Program:

"What you’re seeing now is NASA I think redefining its mission. We have set a goal of getting to Mars with a pit stop on an asteroid. We haven’t identified the asteroid yet."

"In order to do that we’re actually going to need some technological breakthroughs that we don’t have yet."

Muslims new technological breakthrough: wheeled ground transportation. They seem unclear on the concept however.

"Let’s allow the private sector to get in so that they can, for example, send these low-earth-orbit vehicles into space."

‘Cuz GM’s almost there already

On jobs:

Big Guy got the same question on jobs from John Boehner as he did from Richard Trumka at the AFL-CIO: “where are the jobs?”

"So it’s great that we have an Apple that’s creating iPods, iPads, and designing them and creating the software, but it would be nice if we’re also making the iPads and the iPods here in the United States, because that's some more jobs that people can work at."

How about tax incentives to move jobs back on-shore? I’m just sayin’.

"(On White House workers) They haven’t had a raise in two and a half years and that’s appropriate."

Oh oh. That might be a, ahem,lie? “White House Staffers Got a Raise Last Year, and You Did Not.” Apparently my raise must have slipped through the cracks. So to speak.

On Taxes:

"The debt ceiling should not be something that is used as a gun against the head of the American people to extract tax breaks for corporate jet owners or oil and gas companies that are making millions of dollars because the price of gasoline has gone up so high."

Excellent first shot in the launch of class warfare!

"If all we do is just go back to the pre-Bush tax cut rates for the top income brackets, millionaires and billionaires, that would raise hundreds of millions of dollars, and if you combine it with the cuts we’ve already proposed, we could solve our deficit and debt problems."

Excellent follow-up! Of course, once again, the short answer is “It’s Bush’s fault.”

Because after all, the pie is only so big.

On education:

"Working with university presidents to try to figure out where you can cut costs. Of course it may mean that the food in the cafeteria is a little worse, the cafeteria may be a little less fancy."

Hmmm…maybe this is another job for Lady M? Because she has a lot of experience with school cafeterias.

And food.

Butt back to Big Guy’s Twitter-fest. On immigration:

"We have an immigration system that’s broken right now." (It’s Bush’s fault)

Really?

You think?

Apparently answering only 18 Tweets from what turned out to be tens of thousands didn’t really set well with some folks though. Take CNN’s concern for example:

Which raises yet another question: Is it fair to turn over such a question-answer session to the people of the Internet? Or would democracy be better served by letting pundits, news people or even regular Joes who attend real-life town hall meetings ask questions of officials?

Hee hee. They didn’t really mean that last part about “regular Joes.” Butt I think I can answer their question. No. Absolutely not fair to turn such an important question-answer session over to people on the internet who are inexperienced and unqualified to ask fair and balanced questions. Give the job back to the professionals. Like Gwen Ifill, Chrissy “Tingles” Matthews, Katie Couric, and anyone from NPR. As long as you keep Fox News people away, we should be good.

Got to run: budget talks with the R-words this afternoon. That should be good too, since Big Guy’s never done a budget in his whole entire life. That’s been a job for his handlers, agents and various assorted little people ever since he was first dubbed “The Won.”

"People like me, who have been incredibly fortunate—mainly because a lot of people who have bought my book—for me to go back to the tax rate that existed under Bill Clinton so that I can make sure that kids still have Medicare and kids still have Head Start makes a lot of sense to me."

He was incredibly fortunate to have found such a talented writer to write his book: millions of Americans bought his story, along with his book.

So anyway, budgets and fiscal matters are not really his strong suit. Although I do understand he voted against raising the debt ceiling, before he voted for it.

That’s a wrap. WTF.

Linked By: Gerard @ American Digest and by

Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal

Thanks!

Coming Soon: The Royal Tweets

Watching Will and Kate’s royal Canadian visit has brought about some wishful thinking on the part of many Americans. Despite it being anathema to the concept of a democratic republic, many are longing for a little royalty of our own; something Kennedy-esque to lift us out of this malaise that has set in with the summer heat. You know, someone we can look up to; someone with the grace, charm and refinement of Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

Well America, you’re in luck! Not since the Kennedys graced the White House has America had such a royal family residing in Washington. Here, to illustrate, is a pictorial essay of how the Wons are just like royalty. I believe the pictures pretty much speak for themselves.

Kate drops a ball to start a street hockey match in Yellowknife (north of the bear line, eh?)

Lady M starts the Nationals v Cubs game in Washington D.C. last night

Kate participates in active sports

 

So does Lady M

Wills shows Kate and some wee ones how a gentleman operates an umbrella

Big Guy knows how to use an umbrella too

Will pilots a military helicopter in a water landing during military exercises on Prince Edward Island, to impress his bride

Big Guy gets on a military helicopter, quickly recovering from bumping his head in the process

Kate demonstrates proper limo dismount technique

As does Lady M

Kate breaks ground for a shovel ready project

Lady M threatens to break heads if the project’s not shovel ready PDQ

And of course, we haven’t even touched on the mutual fashion sensibilities of the Duchess of Cambridge and Lady  M. Here are Kate and Mo, both de-planing in a black and white sheath dress: is this resemblance not simply uncanny (no pun intended)!?!

Alas, I’ll have to cover the fashion similarities tomorrow because I have to get ready for Guy’s first ever Twitter Town Hall webcast  this afternoon.

Unfortunately the answers, unlike the questions, will not be constrained to 140 characters, as Big Guy will be responding to the tweets verbally. So pack up some sandwiches and a thermos or two of coffee – and maybe a few Twinkies - and plan on spending an action-filled afternoon in front of your computer because we’re going to be explaining TWF (The Way Forward) and our plans for WTF (Winning The Future) in our TwitterTownhall on the Economy and Jobs. That’s "@townhall" marked with the hashtag "AskObama." Social Media. TWF. WTF.

See you all there.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal

An Obama 4th of July: Seals, Sheets and Suds

A Little Traveling Music courtesy of Brian Hyland:

Now I know why I was dispatched from Camp David to make sure that Lady M’s organic garden of versus was in tip top shape: the Wons were throwing their annual 4th of July party for our Military and their families.

Since it was for the troops I really don’t mind, butt I sure have been twitchy ever since I pulled the last of the weeds. I don’t think it’s poison ivy, because I’m feeling all crawly but it’s all on the inside of my frame. I’d suspect one of those pesky potato bugs, but I think Little Mo ate all of them. So I’m betting it’s another one of those darn centipedes; I had one before, and they wreak havoc with my hard drive.

Anyway, the Wons got back in time to rest a bit before greeting the troops with big smiles:

Lady M’s little sundress was a lovely African batik print in traditional red, blue and…uh, black. It’s positively…uh, versatile!

Lady M’s dress from Sophie Thealett looks like it was made out of a  1970’s Marimekko sheet - which seems an odd era to recycle, given the economy and all. And the ruffled Lanvin sandals really complete the festive look. Butt I sure wish Big Guy could find a reliable tailor who could make his shirts fit a little bit better:

Maybe it’s just that centipede making me so hyper-sensitive, butt it sure looks to me like those shoulder seams go about 5 inches beyond his collar bone. Maybe they were intended to have shoulder pads. I don’t know, I’m not a seamstress. They just look a little funny to me. Butt, like I said, maybe it’s just that centipede.

Anyway, here’s the good news: The POTUS seal is back!

I, POTUS. Not to be confused with iPHotus (bitch). And BTW, that shirt definitely does NOT fit.

I’m sure you heard about the POTUS seal escaping from the Beast (that’s Secret Service code for Big Guy’s Presidential limo) last week while Big Guy was roaring through Philly on the way to an emergency fund raiser. I’ll grant you it wasn’t a really large seal, given the size of the limo and all:

Butt since it is emblematic of Big Guy’s legitimate powers, he’s a little sensitive whenever it decides to take a leap to freedom. After what ensued following last October’s unfortunate incident involving improper hanging support personnel, we do NOT take these matters lightly.

 

October, 2010, the seal falls off:

POTUS comes tumbling down

 

Now you see it, now you don’t:

That little incident ushered in a month of complete paranoia, in which Big Guy refused to trust anyone to properly affix his seal.

That meant we had to go seal-less for the entire month of stumping leading up to the November bloodbath setback:

Damn! Still not there.

It finally re-emerged following the November elections, after staff personnel had been adequately retrained in proper fastening techniques.

POTUS seal affixers: 2 more jobs created or saved @ $278,000

We no sooner put that crisis behind us, when the wheels started to fall off the economy (that the Republicans drove into the ditch), and the wheels started to, literally, fall off our car company. 

And then, the POTUS seal fell of again!

We don’t really need any more metaphors around here.

So yesterday we just focused on entertaining the troops and their kids at our picnic. The Wee Wons were only allowed to show up for a few minutes because Big Guy and Lady M dIdn’t want to take any chances on turning them into R-words when they grow up.

Our soldiers didn’t seem to be as worried about that, and brought all their kids for the whole afternoon and evening celebration.

Although some of the little children didn’t seem all that thrilled with the opportunity to meet the Won. Like this little fella:

…and this little girl looks a little apprehensive:

  and these two don’t look all that happy either:

 

And even the baby looks like he’s giving Big Guy a hard time:

Sheeze, how much does this kid weigh?

Or maybe the kids just weren’t impressed with Big Guy’s Elvis impersonation:

Don’t worry though, everybody enjoyed the food (burgers, dogs, watermelon and ice cream), beer, Coke AND Pepsi (we’re counting on support from both companies in reaching our billion dollar campaign goal), the bands and the fireworks.

Happy Birthday America! Hang in there! Reinforcements are on the way!

Whoops! Forgot my H/T to Bijou.

Home For the Holiday: Feliz Quarto De Julio

So, I guess that wasn’t a very good idea: asking Lady M why I’m making less than one eighth of what the other Big White  political “detailees” are “earning.” And I waited until after her afternoon “tea” and everything.

I would have thought that she, of all people, would have been interested in establishing salary parity, because I’ve heard her talk about it a zillion times.

Lady M with Lilly Ledbetter, carping on  about “equal pay for equal work.” As if she would know.

Butt I guess my timing was bad. She was in the middle of complaining about the heat, all the bugs (real bugs: spiders, flies, mosquitoes) and the lack of entertainment options up at Camp David and I should have been a little more, um, “cognizant of her needs.” Apparently.

Anyway, the long and short of it is Lady M decided to send me and Little Mo back to the Big White to weed and water the Big White Oraganic Garden of Versus in order to give our illegal Mexicans the rest of the Quarto de Julio weekend off. Which I think is not only vindictive (I only asked for a 5% raise, and my health insurance alone went up 160% – more if I had opted for the extended warranty), butt also kind of silly since none of our illegal gardeners are real citizens, and therefore don’t really have the right to celebrate our independence. Do they?

I think this is a clear case of “retribution” and if Megyn Kelly was back from her maternity leave, I would see about having her handle my complaint. (Although I’m still waiting to hear from both her and Professor William Jacobson re. my “Supremacy Clause” complaint.)

So here I am. It’s hotter than Hades and the humidity is off the drip chart, and I’m setting the sprinklers and running like crazy because I think you know what moisture does to my telemetry system and other complex circuitry. And since I didn’t opt for the extended warranty under my new health care plan, I can’t afford to crash. (I used to have the extended warranty under my old NASA policy;, butt they aren’t offering it any more. Which is too bad because I liked it, and really wanted to keep it.)

Little Mo’s ok with this reassignment, even though he was looking forward to the long weekend at Camp David, digging for his fill of grubs. So he’s just helping himself to anything in the Garden of Good and Evil that he feels like eating: primarily the sweet potatoes and baby turnips. Lady M will be surprised this year when she tries to harvest her precious sweets.

Sweet potato blight, aka “Mole holes”

So that’s a long way of saying, I’ve got my hands full around here until after the 4th of July fireworks, so I won’t be able to post  much until then.

What? Oh, the picture? Just some anti-war demonstrators in Vermont. I know. We don’t usually show you those images. Butt I'm downloading everything from my hard drive because it’s apt to crash in all this heat and humidity.

Oh, here’s another one:

Really? And when did you first discover this to be the case, America?

I just thought you should know.

Now if you’ll forgive me, I have to give our gardeners directions to the Quickee Mart so they can stock up on snacks and illegal fireworks for their Quatro de Julio celebration. They keep chanting Big Guy’s name. They seem to have gotten the impression somehow that he just granted them amnesty. I have no clue where they got that idea, butt I sure hope it doesn’t cause any trouble for the Wons.

Oh, oh!

Or, God forbid, interrupt their vacation.

PS. If you want to feel more optimistic about the future of America as you watch the weiners on the grill (oh, wait...he resigned) and celebrate our Independence Day, read Clarice’s Pieces in today’s American Thinker. I know, if she’s right, my daze with Team-Obama are numbered and it' may be back to the Smithsonian. Butt that’s a “sacrifice” I’ll joyfully make!