The Duchess of Cambridge vs the Queen of Tarts: it’s a Throwdown

So, here we are stuck at Camp David again. For the optics, you understand. We’ll be back in plenty of time to make Big Guy’s no-longer big meeting with the boys and girls of Congress at 6:00 pm.

Speaker Boehner found out that the deal he cut with Big Guy on taxes just wasn’t playing in Peoria, so I guess we’re back to Joey B's plan. Let’s hear it for Joey! Stand-up Joey, God love ya! Let’s all stand up for Joey’s plan! WTF.

So I’ll just bring you up to speed on what little-miss-perfect, Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, has been up to on her North American, “Look at me, I’m as refreshing as a breath of fresh air” tour.

“As Oscar winners gushed, the couple was compared several times to the late American President John F. Kennedy and his glamorous wife, Jackie O.”

Lady M says she’s just a little publicity hound. And she should know.

Kate certainly has been getting 100% glowing coverage from the worldwide media: until now the exclusive purview of Lady M. The closest thing to criticism I’ve seen anywhere was this, from the Daily Mail:

“The 29-year-old has not set a foot wrong when it comes to designer frocks, but in almost every single picture, there is the same telltale satin sheen of sheer hosiery.”

As if that’s a bad thing:

Personally, I rather like the subtle sheen of a pair of hose, and believe me, there are worse options. Too many to count, really:

Aside from the hosiery issue, Kate and Lady M have a lot in common, given that they’re both fashion icons. That means they are both  market drivers:

“It has been well documented that Kate Middleton's marketing power - known as the Kate effect -  ensures anything she is seen wearing is sold-out within hours...

But what continues to come (as) a surprise is how Kate can turn the notably 'un-fashionable' into an instant hit.”

 

“The simple nude Vanessa dress by Joseph she wore on Sunday in Quebec City has unsurprisingly now sold out.”

 

As did this lovely frock that Lady M wore on the Today show, sans stockings:

A few pair of the mustard shoes are still, surprisingly, available in the bargain bin though.

The Mail continues:

“… low-heeled court shoes and longer-hems, though once labeled as old-fashioned or 'mumsy', have become instant hits among young shoppers.

This would come as little surprise to industry experts who know an icon becomes so by playing against type…”

For young, hip Kate who could easily have been a latter day “Sloane Ranger” like Princess Diana, that means dressing conservatively. For Lady M, well, I haven’t quite figured out what “against type” might be. She’s never met a “type” she doesn’t like:

“While some labeled her outfit choices over the weekend 'boring', Kate's samey style is what will ultimately ensure her iconic status.”

Still searching for our anti-type, butt definitely NOT ‘samey’

“But as she has been increasingly thrust into the limelight, her style has continued to mature and develop.”

Just like Lady M’s

Developing. Maturing.

Note in the last frame how Lady M’s cardi and boob belt style has matured and developed into a sleeveless cardi vest-belt:

“Gone are the 'Sloaney' flat knee-high suede boots and frosty pink lipstick and she is paying more attention to her accessories…”

Knee high suede: Hot, Flat and Crowded. Check.

                  Frosty pink lips, check

“Her taste in jewelery has also changed. Whereas it was always rather understated, Kate is now sporting sophisticated brooches, carefully selected earrings and of course, the stunning sapphire engagement ring.”

Close-up of the tasteful diamond Canadian maple leaf brooch borrowed from the Queen specially for Kate’s trip:

…and a tasteful bracelet, of course:

 

Just like Lady M’s jewelry; sophisticated, understated.

 

Rings on your index finger: why not?

As long as they are tasteful. And sophisticated:

Lady M’s carefully selected earrings:

 

Oh, and by the way; Lady M has her own royal bonnet too:

“H/T” - in more ways than one - to AnnieLaurie

“The demure outfits – skirts never too short, heels never too high - are telling details.”

Lady M: Demur…and a little bit dangerous:

 

Kate knows who she is and isn't easily swayed by passing trends.

Nor is Lady M.

If we like it, we wear it

“Her wardrobe choices indicate qualities in her character: stability, loyalty and self-assurance.”

 

Yes, clothing choices do indicate qualities in our character:

 

Kate, MO; knowing who they are in their classic trench coats.

Now I know there’s been quite a to-do about the Canadian breezes which were kicking up during Kate and Wills visit. You’ll recall the first incident on PEI back east that initiated all the discussion and

speculation on what, exactly, that undergarment was. Was it an old fashioned slip? Bloomers, pettipants or spanx? I checked with the British Consulate and now have it on good authority that the correct term for the Duchess’ inner lining is…“kittenpants!” And I understand they come in a special bootcut too. Who knew our very own Noelle came from royalty!?!

Bootcut Kittenpants

Anyway, it’s obviously not an undergarment required by the queen, because when the prairie winds kicked up out west Kate had pretty much abandoned them. You’ll see the sensationalist sites claiming she was wearing a thong, butt don’t forget the stocking rule: she was wearing nude-to-the-waist panty hose.

Whoo! I guess we know what those white hats are really for now.

Thankfully, we’ve never had a full moon-viewing moment with Lady M. And now you know why I’m really here.

Actually, Buh-rock has a lot in common with HRH, Prince William too. Butt that royal review will have to wait for another slow news cycle.

Linked By: Red Square on The People’s Cube, and Ynaught on TheConnection.Lucianne.com, and Uncoverage, and Cody1991 on Hotair, and The War Planner, and Noelegy on Weasel Zippers, and Left Coast Rebel, and Proof Positive, Thanks!

My Heroes Will Always Be Cowboys

UPDATE: Thanks to SherryT for reporting a bug in the last video embed code which caused it to auto-start on some Mac computers. Most annoying! The bug has been fixed and I totally apologize for the glitch.

Thanks to CJ for telling us yesterday about Calgary’s time honored tradition of  “White Hatting” visiting dignitaries. Last Thursday, Will and Kate joined the long and varied list of celebrities who have been “white-hatted,” including the Dalai Lama, Pope John Paul II, Wayne Gretzky, Bruce Springsteen, Luciano Pavarotti, Oprah Winfrey, George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and Mickey Mouse.

No, not him.

The real one. From Disneyland.

I can’t really see what the rest of the “white hats” have in common. Out of the whole batch, the only real cowboy is George W. Bush, who by all accounts should be wearing a black hat. How’s that for irony?

The white-hat honor was bestowed on Will and Kate by Calgary’s Mayor, Naheed Nenshi.

Now that’s the way to wear a Stetson!

Come on now, who are you kidding? “Cowboy Naheed Nenshi?” That doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it? It has a bit of a discordant ring to it, like “Cowboy George Schwemley,” a distant cousin of Little Mo’s who once rode in the Buffalo Bill Rodeo show. Butt Raj found the degree of multiculturalism exhibited in the Great White North reassuring - in case, for whatever reason, he is ever forced to leave this country.

Anyway, you may have noted that the Wons were not included on the list of “white hatters.” That seems a little racist, even though Oprah did get one. So maybe next year we’ll get an invite to the Calgary Stampede to  punch some doggies and trade our black hat in for a white one. Like George W. Bush’s.

I think we’ve got a good shot at it. After all, Big Guy and Mayor Nenshi have a lot in common, in addition to them both having funny names, they both Tweet!

Uncanny! Apparently Mayor Nenshi’s parents were trouble makers too.

And another similarity: Mayor Nenshi served as Grand Marshall for Calgary’s Gay Pride parade this year. Well OK, Big Guy didn’t really have time to be Grand Marshall at this year’s San Francisco parade, because he was way too busy trying to get America’s economy-car out of the ditch that the R-words drove it into. (No luck so far, butt don’t worry; we’ve got a plan. We just have to resolve that debt ceiling matter first.)

A little OT, butt I didn’t even know there was such a thing as gay cowboys until Broke Back Mountain set me straight. Although “straight” might not be the best choice of words here.

And then, imagine my surprise when I found out that there were  black cowboys too! And some of them were even gay! Goodness, I really do need to get my Old West pack updated, it’s a little provincial.

Clevon Little as Sheriff Black Bart in Blazing Saddles (one of the best non-politically correct movies of all time)

And speaking of cowboys, Big guy was busy  packin’ for our big trip to Montana this weekend, until the R-words dropped their soap in the shower and agreed to traipse over to the Big White and make Big Guy look like a Big Leader in the deficit reduction shell game.

Butt don’t feel too bad. We just started planning the fly fishing trip last week in order to have a vacation to cancel in order to show the American people how hard we’re workin’ to solve the budget and debt ceiling problem. Real Presidential vacays (Like Martha’s) are planned months in advance.

I won’t tell you what Big Guy thought he would be catching with his “fly fishing” rod. Butt JoeyB set him straight (there’s that homophobic word again…sorry). Big Guy’s never actually caught a trout, even though his staff marvels at his spinning and casting skills:

And he is pretty good at catching flies:

(Literally. No double entendre, please).

I just hope we can get through the weekend without anymore of Big Guy’s histrionics. They haven’t been playing as well lately, even with our LSM. Butt you know how it is in the summer time: everyone gets all wee-weed up around here.

Sheriff Bart threatens to “let the N-word have it.”

“If you don’t raise the debt ceiling I’ll…I’ll… well, I swear, I’ll…. Wait a minute guys…you’re supposed to do what I say here.”

Like in the movie:

So, we “cancelled” our Montana vacay so people won’t get all wee-weed up when we vacate to Martha’s Vineyard next month for a little well-earned R&R. What a waste. We had our publicity stills ready to go and everything:

Maybe we can use them at next year’s stampede. The one in Calgary.

Lady M is threatening to get involved in the budget talks this weekend too, because she doesn’t want to risk criticism for our  Vineyards vacay after America has gone broke. She’s actually pretty good at the negotiation table, coming from a long line of black cowgirls herself.

MO’s great-great aunt, Stagecoach Mary LaVaughn, with her trusty companion. And her little dog Bo. 

So if those R-words don’t want Lady M to get her LaVaughn on (and trust me, they don’t) this weekend, they best come prepared to cave in and raise the roof.

 

“I said raise the debt ceiling or I swear, I do the Dougie. Right here, right now.”

Great video of real American cowboys for those who, like me, love real cowboys!

Linked By: BigFurHat @ iOwnTheWorld, and  Red Square on The People’s Cube, Thanks!

Twits or Tweets? WTF, Friday Edition.

The Chicago Tribune – of all newspapers – seems to be making fun of Big Guy's Twitter-fest:

Twitter is casual, fast-paced, funny, anarchic and egalitarian. Politicians were never any of those things.

They seem to imply that our Big White (BW) Twitter town hall (TTH) and Big Guy (BG), by extension, is none of those things.

I beg to differ. We’ve so nailed 4 out of 5.

Casual:

BG, getting down with his peeps, and a casual ROG (round of golf)

Fast-paced:

Run Bo, run! Faster!

Funny:

He even cracks himself up

And egalitarian? Are you kidding me? Do any of you remember Joe  the “we’ve got to spread the wealth around” Plumber? (JTP)

How much more egalitarian can we get? We’ve even got bumper stickers.

I guess I’ll concede on the charge of not being “anarchic.”  We’re much more into Organizing for America (OFA), Big, BIG government and tyranny, butt sometimes despite our best efforts things end up in chaos that even a dyed-in-the-wool anarchist might approve of.

Obamacare Bill (warning: embiggens on its own, no clicking required)

 

Obamacare flowchart: click to embiggen (CTE). The picture, not government - it does it on its own.

So we’ve got that going for us.

Anyway, we think the tweet-fest went just swell. So you can just disregard what Major Garrett had to say on the Dr. Laura Ingra-ham radio show. After all, he doesn’t even work for FOX News anymore:

“[I]f people aren’t listening to you on that core message, it doesn’t matter what you say anymore,” he said. “And I think the president is dangerously close to losing that connection with the American people on what he knows about the economy and what he can predict about the economy. And presidents who can’t lead on the economy tend to be replaced.

And I think today’s Twitter town hall is evidence of a low-level degree of anxiety bordering on panic within the Chicago reelection headquarters because back in 2008 and 2007, I watched this develop on the ground. There was a sense that ‘oh social media created the energy.’ No, social media harnessed and built it out. It made it exponential. But it didn’t create it in the first place and you see a lot of sort of feverish attempts to engage social media as if that’s the means by which to create energy. No – you create energy by what you do, what you say and how you lead, especially if you’re seeking reelection and it’s at that level that I think the energy pool is much more shallow for President Obama than the campaign would like it to be.”

Panic schmanic. David Plouffe has everything under control. He knows what’s important to the American people: and it’s not that 3 letter word: JOBS.

“The average American does not view the economy through the prism of GDP or unemployment rates or even monthly jobs numbers,” Plouffe said. “People won’t vote based on the unemployment rate, they’re going to vote based on: ‘How do I feel about my own situation? Do I believe the president makes decisions based on me and my family?’”

Then they probably won’t care about Big Guy putting Social Security and Medicare on the table in order to get some new tax increases either.

The 2012 election is going to be a breeze; maybe we don’t even need to do any more Twitter Town Halls (TTH).

Whose the dweeb with the pencil up his butt? The one on the left. No, I mean on the left hand side.

Somehow, I don’t think that would be a bad thing. And it would leave more time for Big Guy (BG) to get casual, funny and fast paced – in order to create some of that old energy around our HOPE and CHANGE meme.

Casual, funny, fast-paced. The “egalitarian” will come later.

Be sure to catch this weekend’s rap up of Wills and Kate’s North American tour. The more I see of them the more I see how much the Duchess and our Queen have in common.

It’s a mighty wind.

 

BTW: June unemployment numbers just in, 9.2%. OUCH!