Lady M Orders Another Round of Hurricanes!

I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this USA headline: Obama’s vacation: lazy days, long dinners. It almost smacks of sarcasm, something we are unfamiliar with around here.

In between Libya's revolution, the financial markets' gyrations, the East Coast's biggest earthquake in a century and the impending wrath of Hurricane Irene, Obama finally had a full day to chill Thursday.

Evidence: a day at the beach with his family that stretched for nearly five hours, and an evening at a classic Martha's Vineyard restaurant that stretched for another three.

Perhaps this is the source of his pique: our photo embargo.

In a sign that Obama is truly vacationing, the traveling press corps didn't see him all day, despite following along in a motorcade.

I understand his frustration: everyone wanted to see the first couple on their return trip to the State Road restaurant, a “contemporary American tavern on the spectacular island of Martha's Vineyard” that’s located in the dry village of West Tisbury.

Here’s the best I can do: last year (again)

Somehow this retro-chic patchwork frock with tights look never gets old, does it?

Since the State Road restaurant is located in one of the many dry towns on Martha's Vineyard, they invited us to BYOB. So we did.

I know it may seem like a lot, but once again, ValJar came with us.

We also went to the (private) beach yesterday. As far as I know there was no problem with raw sewage this year. Just the threat of a pesky hurricane.

No wait, wrong kind of hurricane:

So basically just another day, another historic disaster. It’s become so routine that Big Guy just takes it all in stride any more. In fact, he’ll be making a statement about Hurricane Irene later today from our island residence (open press), but I have an advance draft of it for you:

Good morning. As you know, every day, Michelle and I  go about our lives with duty, honor and pride. And neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor the winds of change (Irene,) nor a nation challenged, will stay us from the swift completion of our vacation and my appointed round of golf. Ever.

If that sounds a bit familiar it’s because we’re on vacation and nobody felt like drafting a new statement so we just recycled the Postal Workers creed, which worked perfectly for the occasion:

Postman’s Creed:

Who every day go about our lives with duty, honor and pride. And neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor the winds of change, nor a nation challenged, will stay us from the swift completion of our appointed rounds. Ever.

Except for Saturdays, in the near future.

Butt like so many other things, we’re going to go that way any how.

In other news, I think the portrait of Big Guy that was in the Granary Gallery last year is still for sale if you’re interested.

You’ll recall that the portrait depicts Big Guy reading Steinbeck’s classic The Grapes of Wrath.

As I first reported last year, artists are really big on symbolism so I tried to figure out what message the painter was trying to convey with this affectation:

• He’s aware of Big Guy’s obsession with having a bunch of grapes
• It’s an illusion to Big Guy’s historic role in the country’s 2nd Great Depression
• It’s a reference to the plight of current-day “migrants” from Mexico, just looking for a job (along with millions of Americans)
• It’s a reminder of how much more hospitable the government run migrant camp in California was to the Joads than the private sector camps

Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s a good sign that it’s still for sale, and at a lower price. Oh, and did I mention that the second quarter growth was reported at an anemic 1%? Unexpectedly, of course. And Benny doesn’t have a single trick left up his sleeve.

Wow! We may have to think about changing our campaign slogan.

More like 1979. WTF?

Same as it ever was...

How can you put a price on an Obama vacation?

First of all, how can you even call this a vacation? All Big Guy does is work, work, work.

Here’s proof: a Big White photo of BO taking an economic meeting. Note the surroundings: this is not a luxurious estate! It’s actually quite sparse.

Taking a meeting on the economy. Maybe a beer would help.

I don’t know though - that guy doesn’t look like he knows diddly squat about economics. The one on the right, I mean. That’s Brian Deese, Deputy Director of the National Economic Council. Sheesh! The Leader of the Free World doesn’t even warrant our Economic Council’s top dog for his briefings? Butt I guess Director Sperling must be on vacation too.

Big Guy told him to go ahead because, like Big Guy, Gene’s been working hard for the American people all year. And it’s not like he knows that much more than Big Guy about the economy. Besides, they already cooked up a scheme to save the American economy while at the same time saving Fannie and Freddie refinancing everyone’s mortgage! It’s pure genius. Big Guy wants to call his new program “Re-mortgaging America” butt he’s getting a little blow-back on that name.

So, after settling his economic/jobs problem,he played a round of golf. Because we are, technically, on vacation.

Putting along with BFF, Eric Whitaker; the only guy on the course with less style sense than BO

And who, you ask, is Eric Whitaker? For starters, he’s Associate Dean and Executive Vice President, University of Chicago Medical Center – you know, where Lady M used to draw a pay check? Butt our history goes way back. Or at least as far back as Big Guy’s public history goes. Eric’s one of our Chicago posse. And we hang tight.

Some of the FOO (friends of Obama) fighters

“In the Times profile of Obama’s First Friends, Whitaker figured prominently, along with White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett; campaign treasurer Martin Nesbitt; John W. Rogers, president of Ariel Capital Management; Rogers’ ex-wife, the former White House social secretary Desiree Rogers; and Craig Robinson, Michelle Obama's brother.”

They do everything together, and sometimes Big Guy gets better economic policy advice from them than he does from any of his official advisors. Because, let’s face it, they have more skin in the game. In fact, I think the “re-mortgage America” plan originally came from the Chicago mob.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the estate, some Lady M news:

The intertoobs are abuzz with rumors about the gazillions of your tax dollars that Lady M and her posse have spent so far this year on “extravagant” vacations. Allow me to put all this carping into perspective.

It all started with some loose lipped Big White staffers squealing to the National Enquirer that Lady M is a “vacation junkie” and calling her behavior “disgusting.” Then they went on to claim that she has spent more than $10 million, so far, this year alone. I don’t know who the weasels are yet, butt Puff-Daley’s security goons are efforting  their identification as we speak. I do know that none of them are accountants, because Big Guy doesn’t hire accountants.

Does he look like an accountant to you? Well he’s not.

I think it would have ended right there, on the front page of NE,  because I don’t know anybody who reads the National Enquirer. Ok, I do scan it occasionally in the grocery store check out line, Ok, so I read it every time I’m in the checkout line, butt I don’t know anybody else who actually goes to a grocery store.

Anyhoo, along comes The Gateway Pundit to stir the pot, along with with Free Republic and The Daily Mail for cripes sakes! So now it falls on me to fix everything: “grab a mop, MOTUS and clean up this mess in aisle 10!” That sure was a short vacation.

So here goes: Lady M has not spent $10 million of your tax contributions on vacations so far this year. As I explained to The Gateway Pundit’s readers, in order to accuse Lady M of spending $10 million of taxpayer investments this year, you would have to round up from the $9.78 million in actual expenses (not including our in-progress Vineyard vacay) PLUS, you’d have to ignore the fact that none of the money is coming directly from tax revenues. There is a separate account set up as “Lady M’s travel stash” that was included in the recent debt ceiling increase, and was borrowed from the Chinese. So, if the Chinese aren’t upset about this, I don’t know why anybody else should be.

Our afternoon snack

PS: Lady M’s been so upset about these reports leaking out that she’s taken to getting her spa treatments in her private quarters. Butt that doesn’t mean that no one else can have fun. (h/t Mommy Life)

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Pay no attention to the polls: Obama is slowing the oceans and healing the planet. Oh yeah, and “jobs, jobs, jobs!”

People everywhere are asking, “if Obama hadn’t been vacationing when it struck, would he have been able to save Washington D.C. from the devastation of yesterday’s earthquake?”

Documented earthquake damage in D.C. h/t jmckinley

As you recall, Big Guy arrived in Washington accompanied by high HOPE for his ability to cure all problems and avert all future disasters. These HOPEs were based primarily on the echo chamber reverberation of his own humble assessment of his abilities:

“The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations.

Reflection on the Won’s limitations

But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth.” 

Last, best hope on earth?

So let’s – just for fun – do an inventory to date to see if those plummeting polls of Big Guy’s popularity are warranted:

• Care for the sick, check – if by “care” you mean granny will be better off just taking the pain pill.
• Good jobs to the jobless, check – if by “jobs” you mean “in China.”
• Oceans began to slow, check – if by “slow” you mean “hurricane Irene.”
• Our planet began to heal, check – if by “heal” you mean rupturing along fault lines that have been at peace for decades.
• Ended a war, check – if by “end” you mean start another one butt refer to it as a KMA, “Kinetic  Military Action”
• Secured our nation, check – if by “secured” you mean  debt topping 72% of GDP.
• Restored our image as the last, best hope on earth…um…well, uh… maybe we can address that quaint notion in 2012.

Meanwhile, allow me to recap the last few days of on the Vineyard with the world’s last, best hope:

Sunday, Big Guy got dressed up in his business casual blue and brown uniform to announce the pending victorious end of his kinetic military action in Libya. It’s just a formality now, that Gadfly has left town as Big Guy directed him to do at the start of his KMA.

Posing naturally, in nature. Maybe we should use smaller props.

Critics, of course, are grousing about the fact that the Libyan draft constitution reportedly will look to the superior guidance of Sharia law for guidance in establishing its ruling principals. So it looks like that’s working out just swell.

I still remember how proud Lady M was when Big Guy stepped up to the plate while we were in Rio and racked up yet another historical presidential first. You remember that, right? Big Guy was the first president ever to declare a war kinetic military activity while on a wine tour.

To our KMA!

I sure don’t want to be the one to tell Lady M that Big Guy just helped establish another country she won’t be allowed to visit due to their no-bare-guns-on-babes law.

No right to bare arms in Libya’s future

Yesterday we went cycling, in our not-yet-mandated butt highly recommended brain buckets:

Big Guy: racing to the rescue of earthquake victims

Lady M, cycling in one of our recessionary recyclables

I guess we didn’t ruin our designer t-shirt last September after all:

Spiffing up the pipes on our National Day of Service, aka 9/11. WARNING: watch out for drips

I’m not sure what’s on tap for today yet, butt I do know it’s going to be all about jobs, jobs, jobs!

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Getting’ Nosey: Last day on the road…

This trip sure would have been a lot faster if I could have borrowed Air Force Won 2, butt as you know, somebody needed it to get to the island a few hours early.

Anyway, full post later. For now I leave you to continue contemplate whether Lady M really had another nose job.

I report, you decide.

Finally, if you’ve already made up your mind on the nose job, take a shot at captioning this pic of Big Guy. It has been troubling me ever since it landed on my hard drive:

Thought Bubble: “You have the most amazing eyes”

Linked By: LucyT on FreeRepublic, Thanks!

Our Nationally Lampooned V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N:

So far:

Need I say more?

Of course there is this:

And never mind Lady M’s Raushenberg-meets-Mondrian skirt, what the hell’s wrong with Big Guy?

He looks like he’s just been served with divorce papers.

By Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

And what’s up with the brown and blue uniform? Do we not own any other “vacation casual” clothes? Don’t make me call Naomi Wolfe in again.

Actually, the Wons were just ordering takeout from Nancy’s (specializing in all things fried: Fried Shrimp, Fish & Chips, Scallops, Calamari, Clams (whole belly) or Clam Strips – oh, and lobster rolls, of course) while Big Guy monitored the Libyan situation. Work, work, work you know, because he won’t rest until… well, you know.

And for those of you deliberating over the probability of a boob job: don’t focus on the odds, focus on the over/under cup size. I of course can neither confirm nor deny.

Butt you do the math.

Dang! This blue tee used to fit perfectly. Otherwise, why would I ever have bought it?

Even though things are, uh…”shaping up” quite nicely on Martha’s, I’m thinking of cutting my road trip short.There could be trouble in our vacation paradise. 

It’s beginning to remind me of Walley World all over again.

Maybe someone should check under the hood before we attempt to push this puppy any further down the road. You know, just in case the pistons are shot, or our gaskets are blown. Or we’ve just run out of gas.

Linked By Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and The Warplanner, Thanks!

Are We Having Fun Yet?

OK,  I’m the one on the road, butt the Wons are on vacation, in case you hadn’t heard.

You can tell we’re on vacation because we can just kick back and have fun.

Not that it’s a real vacation, because Big Guy won’t rest until everyone in America who wants a job, has one.

Butt “vacation” or not, what would Saturday be without a lecture address from Big Guy?

This week’s address was shot earlier in the week at the Country Corner Farm in Alpha, Illinois - in order not to interfere with anyone’s tee time.

Because, the fact is, we’re going through a tough time right now. We’re coming through a terrible recession; a lot of folks are still looking for work. A lot of people are getting by with smaller paychecks or less money in the cash register. So we need folks in Washington – the people whose job it is to deal with the country’s problems, the people who you elected to serve – we need them to put aside their differences to get things done.

Big Guy was so moved by what he saw on his heartland tour that it only took him 3 days to discover that there really are 2 Americas! One the enlightened intelligentsia of Washington/New York/LA, and the other, the Bible thumping, gun toting bitter clingers everywhere else. And since Pluff-Daddy tells us he needs all the votes he can buy this time around, he’s working real hard to understand the inferior half and give them what they want.

 

So, let me see if I’ve got this right: you get free milk every time you pull on one of those spigots?

What they want though seems to be less government interference with their business, so we’ll just have to stay tuned to see how that works out.

Butt I digress. The real news from Saturday’s address is that, finally, Big Guy’s found someone’s ass to kick! Congress! And what a great ass it is!

The only thing preventing us from passing these bills is the refusal by some in Congress to put country ahead of party. That’s the problem right now. That’s what’s holding this country back. That’s what we have to change.

And when that happens, well, you know where to get a hold of Big Guy:

Church services at the Vineyard Golf Club, Aug. 21.

Oh, and I heard that Big Guy went to Charlie Ogletree’s last night for a little soiree. He was both Lady M’s and Big Guy’s mentor at Harvard Law School. Lady M didn’t feel like going though, she was going to stay in and wash her hair or something. She’s still sore that Charlie gave Big Guy much better mentoring which resulted in him being President, and all she got out of it was a new wardrobe and a few other perks. Anyway, ValJar went in her place, and she didn’t seem all that happy about it either. That Charlie must be a male chauvinist pig.

(I have a great video of life-so-far on the Rock, butt unfortunately road posting is fraught with perils, and I seem to have lost 2 1/2  of my 3 Gs which isn’t enough for movie posting, apparently. I’ll have to post it tomorrow morning from my road bunker – assuming they have a high speed internet off ramp at my encampment.)

Obama on the Vineyard: His Brave New World

Really, I appreciate the fact that you are all concerned about Lady M’s well being, butt trust me, she’s fine. Just a little puffy. From the humidity.

Photo embargos are just a part of our historic Vineyard get-aways. We like to wine and dine out of the public eye. So, no pictures at all from last night when she and Big Guy had dinner, alone, at our favorite restaurant, the Beach Plum Inn which you may remember from last year’s visit, when we were not allowed to release any photo evidence either.

And need I remind you why? Because of photos like this from the State Road restaurant included in last year’s vacation journal “A Fluke and an Imposter”:

With a menu like that, they might want to consider widening the doorway.

I expect this year’s embargo to be even more strictly enforced, due to CBS’ and the New York Times’ concern about the “bad optics” of the Won’s vacation on Martha’s Vineyard hob-nobbing with the “tax me! tax me! I’m rich” liberal set.

Not that the MSM isn’t doing everything in their power to make it seem “OK” to be renting a $50k seaside enclave while the entire world is crumbling around our ankles. They’ve taken to comparing the Won’s vacation with the Bush and Reagan vacations at their respective ranches, clearing brush.

And Mr. Bush spent a lot of time in Texas: 180 days, at the same point in his administration where Mr. Obama is now, according to the CBS News reporter Mark Knoller, who compiles such statistics. Mr. Obama had spent 61 days on vacation before this holiday began.

Although the real reason the media went after George W for his vacations had nothing to do with the amount of time he spent away from Washington, as he continued to run business from his Crawford ranch, and everything to do with the accommodations. Theirs, not his.

Because it was so remote, with few hotels nearby, the White House leased 11 acres outside the gates from a neighbor of Mr. Bush, and put in five trailers, said Steve Atkiss, a former special assistant to the president for operations, who helped set up the outpost.

The trailers housed Secret Service agents, military aides, a communications center, helicopter pilots and members of the president’s senior staff.

“They were pretty run-of-the-mill double-wide trailers,” said Mr. Atkiss, who now works for Command Consulting Group, a security and intelligence consultancy. “They were functional spaces without being in the least bit luxurious. It was not Martha’s Vineyard.”

The Western White House was nowhere near as reporter-friendly as the Martha’s Vineyard Whitehouse.

And White House staffers and reporters are busy as bees making it appear as if Big Guy’s not resting until every American who wants a job has one.

Don’t worry! I’ll get us out of this ditch! Did I mention the R-words got us into this mess? And they’re the ones preventing me from driving us out?

So we’re bringing in the advisors and “taking daily meetings” - just like Bush used to between clearing brush on the ranch. Butt to make the most of the Bush/Obama vacation comparisons, Big Guy should have stayed in Washington and done some “brush clearing” of his own. It’s not as if there isn’t enough dead wood there to keep him busy for 10 days.

Anyway, I hope they lift the photo embargo because I sure don’t want to rely on my illustrations of the vacation again. As you can see from my attempt to render last year’s outing at Johnnie’s Cupcake hut,

I do not have a graphics illustrator pack on my hard drive. And for the last time, no, MO is not bald. It was just really bad lighting. I guess graphic artist isn’t in the cards for me.

I do have permission to release pictures of Big Guy taking the wee wons to the bookstore again this year, where he has lots of fans (who knew? Progressives love hangin’  out at the bookstore?).

You might remember the books that Big Guy bought during last year’s visit to the Bunch of Grapes:

The Red Pony is about closing the barn door after the horse got out. To Kill a Mockingbird is set in the middle of the country’s Great Depression. It’s about a tragic miscarriage of justice by a racist white society against a Black man.

I don’t know what Freedom is about because it hasn’t really been released for sale yet. But an early Amazon review indicates it’s about a well-intentioned couple who lead the charge against an evil, environment-destroying big-coal mining empire, while falling prey to the nefarious intents of a Bush-Cheney crony. Not to worry: they emerge triumphant and filled with renewed hope. The review says we love the characters “not for their charm or goodness, but because they have their reasons…” Generally good enough for government work.

This year he picked up a copy of Brave New World, generally required high school reading. Come on! Are you kidding me? Big Guy came up with his ingenious concept of a benevolent dictatorship with an efficient, totalitarian welfare-state – all on his own!?! Without ever having even read Huxley? Wow! He’s even smarter than you thought.

Just an interesting little cultural fashion note: can you tell the difference between this year’s and last year’s book shop outing:

         

Bunch of Grapes visit 2010, left; 2011, right

Besides losing the hat and un-tucking the shirt, not much CHANGE. Ideologues are like that. I think Huxley had a thing or two to say about stasis too.

Oh, and the Secret Service made sure that the angry grapes were not allowed to congregate around the Bunch of Grapes bookstore this year. Supportive crowds only need apply:

“We’re counting on you!” one patron yelled as Obama left the store.

He also found a supportive audience outside the shop.

“He’s working all the time. He’s getting a little relaxing when he’s with his girls,” said Virlynn Atkinson White, from Washington, D.C., who also was on vacation. “But for the most part, I’m sure he’s working. There’s too much going on in the country. He’s very conscientious.”

Beware the Grapes of Wrath

That’s right Vivian. He’s working all the time, and he’s very conscientious. That’s what the “angry mob” has been trying to tell you all along. Consider yourselves warned.

Oh, butt I do have photo evidence of Little Bo’s arrival on the island, with his “handler” - who treats him like family.

Don’t follow that yellow brick road Little Bo, it’s a dead end.

I wonder if Big Guy will actually read his summer book selection.

“There is no escape from anxiety and struggle, and Huxley assists us in attaining this valuable glimpse of the obvious, precisely because it was a conclusion that was in many ways unwelcome to him.”        Christopher Hitchens

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