A State Dinner for South Korea and a Dog-gone Good One Too!

Big State Dinner last night for South Korean President Lee Myung-bak and the Mrs., First Lady Kim Yoon-ok.  And no, there is no truth to the rumor circulating that the hot appetizers included hot dogs in an ironic nod to traditional Korean gastronomy.

Chef did suggest it, butt I think we all know how Lady M feels about hot dogs:

Any-hoo, I know you all want to see the ball gown. In keeping with our patronizing fashion, it was designed by Korean-American Doo-Ri Chung:

Front…and back…

and even the normally embargoed side view look really good!

It actually fits quite nicely! So far Doo-Ri is the hands down winner in the correct fit category. Of course, she had help from our svelte pre-election physique due to our starvation diet (and killer workouts), industrial strength containment systems and a little bit of – shall we say - “magic.”

notice anything?

It’s an old Hollywood trick, as so many things around here are.

“Yes Barack, listen to me: you are the Won”

We hired a new stylist for last night, one who has a lot of experience in the world of art and artifice:

 

I think we nailed it.         h/t Fausta & Mommy Life

Anyway, it was a lovely evening despite rain earlier in the day:

          

This Chris Benz ensemble with boob-belt presents proof that style, cut and fit matter.

 

The rain seemed to melt our physique and containment systems a bit, along with our hair:

I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to say it one last time: over 45, lose the long hair. And I don’t care if it’s imported or home grown, if you catch my drift.

I know there’s a lot of other important news out there, butt I’ve been as busy as a disabled Blackberry, trying to record all of the flash mob sightings of spontaneous Jumping Jack outbreaks around the world, in order to put one in the Win The Future (WTF) column for Lady M.

I will catch up on everything over the weekend, including the plight of the great all- American People of Organize for Wall Street (POWS) protest movement. Don’t miss it.

Oh, by the way, in another nod to enhancing international relations, Lady M has decided to change her official name to “Michelle LaVaughn Obama-A-ok.

Linked By: and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

The Secret Life of MO:A Real Housewife of Washington

Yes, it’s true: Lady M is frequently unrecognized.

Here she is telling the formerly fat and happy Al Roker how that happens:

h/t Blonde Gator

I’ll tell you the truth, Lady M doesn’t mind not being recognized when she just runs out to pick up a few necessities:

Lady M picks up a few jumbo rolls of BO tissue: the quicker pucker-upper

h/t Fausta

And she doesn’t mind not being recognized when she takes the beloved family pet, Little Bo, to Petco for his de-worming.

Hey little guy! Who let you out?

What really bugs her is not being recognized for the really important things she does for her country. Sure, she’s received many kudos for her No Child’s Fat Behind program for eliminating childhood obesity in one generation (mostly from the SEIU).

Butt I’m talking about all the things she does behind the scenes that she can’t – by virtue of the Constitution – step forward and take credit for. Like transforming America from a hateful, inequitable republic to a country that’s much more fair, much more equitable and much more dedicated to social justice. Like Venezuela.

So when you think Lady M’s acting a little testy,

Insulin Alert! Code Red!

try to be a little more understanding. While Big Guy gets credit for all the hard work he does, she’s forced – like our other undocumented workers – to work in the shadows.

 

And when Big Guy picked up his Nobel Prize for World Readership, all Lady M got was this crummy tee-shirt:

available only in red

So there are a lot of things that Lady M hasn’t been recognized for. Starting with all of the decisions that up until now Big Guy and Eric the Holder have gotten all the credit for.

Gun walker stash found in a Mexican drug cartel’s enforcers home base: where on earth did they come from? Oh that’s right! We gave them to him.

They were all the results of the famous (at least inside the Big White) “Lady M/Val-Jar brain trust,” as it’s known around here. Butt now Lady M is graciously going to duck even further into the shadows of the East Wing and let Ricky take all the credit. Because that’s just the way she is.

h/t Fausta

Jumping Jacks World Record: Another Challenge for the 99%

We are the 53%: Alinsky Works For Us Now

 

Well, that was fun. Yesterday I mean. I was accused of everything from being a “trust fund baby” (heh!) to a “cherry picking” yellow journalist (I don’t even have a union card). Oh, and also “retarded” - I thought that word was off the officially-sanctioned PC list.

Whew! Pretty heady stuff for a simple mirror from NASA with a dream.

Butt unfortunately, it’s back to business as usual today. First an update on yesterday’s Jumping Jack Marathon, brought to you by the Guinness Book of World Records. The flash mob didn’t always go as planned, butt then, how many photo ops do?

It was an exhausting event calling on Lady M to jump with the kids for a full minute without a break. And it even impressed the JammieWearingFool: “Wow, a solid minute! She's gonna need some cheeseburgers to replenish after that solid minute of exercise.” AND fries!

I don’t really care if Guinness doesn’t sanction our new world record, because even JWF could see Lady M’s magic at work in this exchange between two of the wee participants:

"She (Lady M) touched my hand!" one yelled. "She touched my face!" countered another. "She touched my hand, and I'm never washing it again!" the first retorted

On the plus side though, all containment systems fully deployed:

creating that enviable long sleek look we’ve come to expect from Lady M’s athletic events.

Meanwhile, also pairing up with Team Guinness, Big Guy was just hanging with the folks in  Orlando. He was showing solidarity with his (unemployed) union brothers in the construction trade by having a beer with them at the Harp and Celt.“They bring a Bud, I’ll bring a Guinness” (soon to be a proud sponsor of Obama For America):

Hyping a brew from one of his ancestral homelands, Big Guy demonstrates that he, too, can act like he doesn’t know jack s**t.

No word yet on whether we broke that GBoR’s Jumping Jack record, butt I’m betting “YES!” – official announcement at 3:00 pm today, so watch for tweets. Unfortunately, even though Big Guy promised the guys down at the shop bar that he would not rest until “every American who wants a job, has a job,” Harry Reid was unable to pass his JOBS, JOBS, JOBS bill last night. Which is good, because now we can proceed full speed ahead with the “Republicans are trying to destroy the economy on purpose” meme.

Dems originally eschewed this strategy:

This actually isn’t an argument that Dems initially wanted to embrace. As Kevin Drum pointed out back in June, the notion that they’d take this route seemed far fetched. “No serious person in a position of real influence really wants to accuse an entire party of cynically trying to tank the economy,” Drum noted. “But it would sure make headlines if Obama decided to take up this ball and run with it.”

Now they’re going there in a big way.

Butt once Big Guy gave his handmaidens a “little homework assignment” to “go ask Republicans what their jobs plan is,” the fix was in. Let the games begin.

Big Guy meets with his Council on Jobs and Competitiveness in Pittsburgh

The JOBS, JOBS, JOBS Council is made up primarily of big time donors, in order to keep disagreement and arguments to a minimum. If you ask me (nobody did) I think I would change up the optics a bit: ditch the TOTUS mosh pit and switch to a round table.  King Arthur is clearly the superior imagery.

Now, as promised, and with no further ado, a few more entries from the POWS gallery. And as God is my witness, and despite the fact that “cherry picking” is what I do, you can just screen-grab at random from this concurrently highly entertaining and deeply depressing site:

Now “they” owe us LIVING, not just a job? And he’s one of the lucky ones: isn’t that the EPITOMY of irony? (PS: Mom sounds like one of the lucky ones too)

Drugs? No, seriously, I know what she means: crime is the only answer after your unemployment runs out. Just curious, is grandson’s mom a felon too? And his dad? Doesn’t that qualify him for Social Security payments or something?

Sounds like we’ve located another felon. Although I’m not sure that would keep you out of the country any more.

There are tons more, butt I’ve got to get back to work.

The People of OWS: like the people of Wal-Mart, only not as smart

NEW BREAKING NEWS UPDATE:

MOTUS has now gone international! Picked up by Mail OnLine

Welcome Mail OnLine readers, and yes, I do know how to spell “but” butt around here, we do things a little differently

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE:

Guess who got Instalanched at 8:24 AM EST today…MOI!!!

Welcome instapundit readers  and thank you sooooo much Glen “instapundit” Reynolds!

While Lady M’s gearing up for her world record breaking jumping jack marathon, I’ve decided to perform a public service myself by highlighting the tragedy of OWS. Accordingly, I’m dedicating today’s post to the People of Occupy Wall Street (POWS). They’ll tell you in their own words how they came to be part of the 99%. A portion of all proceeds from today’s post will be donated to the 501(c)(9) charity, Graduates With Severe Economic Disorders. You can read their complete stories on the People of Occupy Wall Street website, where I’m betting you can make a donation too.

Here are the plights of just a few of the 99 percenters; I’ll let them tell you their stories in their own words:

Home foreclosed in 2003? Definitely Bush’s fault.

Once you get your Psych degree you’ll probably be smart enough to figure out what the point is. Butt here’s a little free job advice: it’s easier to land a job without nose balls. Especially if you’re going into foodservice, which you will be with a degree in Psych.

7 years? What did you major in, Government Efficiency Studies? And - this is just a nit - butt most people shorthand “thousand” with a “k” not a “g” – although the “g” does demonstrate creativity and independent thinking. Two things frowned on in Government, so maybe you could try foodservice too.

Tough lesson dude: Didn’t Mom ever tell you not to bite the hand that feeds you? Moron.

This one is unreadable, butt here’s a transcription of her key points:

“I want out!

I was told to be a Proud American and I’ve been fighting since high school to get out of this country.

I do not want to belong to a this society that first puts a blindfold on its people and then throws it into the unknown.”

Good news for you sweetheart! Since our borders can’t even keep people out, they sure can’t keep people like you in either! Don’t forget to pack hand sanitizer.

A political science degree? Isn’t that special! And still you can’t figure out why you can’t find a job? Here’s a little hint that might help you out on that 128th job app: spend less time on your demands, more time on how you might be of some use to your potential employer. You know, because they’ll be paying you, not the other way around?

This POWS has a footnote under his message. Like the young lady above he, too, is feeling like he’ll be forced to join the great brain drain and emigrate to find opportunity:

“Was promised a future and have worked my ass off to actually deserve it. Now I’m feeling like my only chance is to pursue opportunities ANYWHERE BUT the United States.”

Good luck dude. I understand that Somalia is looking for a few good political science majors from a top tier school. Don’t forget your hand sanitizer either.

Whoa! Tea Party alert! Five degrees, no debt, $150k income? Isn’t anyone monitoring this site?

You look like a smart girl in a black bra, so let’s analyze together: 12 years of college, 3 degrees – one PhD (that’s a degree right? not a bra size?) – and still no decent job? Have you ever watched “What not to wear” honey? It couldn’t hurt. And I think it might help, as I see you do follow instructions well. That IS lucky!

 

What did you do wrong? Duh! Let’s take this from the top: Nobody gets their masters degree in education BEFORE getting a teaching job! That way they can hire you at a cheap rate, pay for your masters and, since the teachers union makes them, they’ll pay you a whole lot more for getting your masters degree – that they paid for. Sheeze! You’re really too dumb to be a teacher anyway.Sorry about the sexual harassment though. And your boss’ new motorcycles? What a capitalist pig.

So ok, have a nice life in Botswana. Don’t forget to write. You might want to ask Mom to send hand sanitizer.

Wait, wait! Don’t tell me! You have a masters degree in something that ends in “studies” and starts with “women’s.” If your student loan really grew by $80k in  7 years of “underemployment” I’m betting you didn’t major in math. Or accounting. Or anything else that qualifies you to do anything other than inquire if your customers want to enjoy fries along with their order.

If I’m right, you weren’t “underemployed” you were “overcharged” for what passes as “an education” these days.

There are lots more stories from the annals of the POWS, and I’ll try to highlight a few more every day, just to remind ourselves of the challenges facing America in the months and years ahead.

There’s just one thing that confuses me: a lot of these POWS seem to be mad that they were forced to accumulate a ton of debt with the stew-dent loans that they were tricked into taking to support them for 7 years while completing their degrees in Recycling Studies and beer pong. Now they find out - not only can they not get a job in the field that they picked to “follow their bliss” butt they’re expected to pay their loans back too! That is so unfair. No wonder they want to spread the the other 1%’s wealth around.

Butt seriously: why are they occupying Wall Street? Shouldn’t they be occupying the administration buildings of the universities? Aren’t they the ones cranking out worthless degrees that they’re charging $10-100,000 a year for? How, exactly, is this Colgate-Palmolive’s fault? Other than the fact they’re successful, greedy capitalists?

Did greedy capitalists convince these hapless kids to spend a king’s ransom for a BA in World Politics? Did Exxon Mobil make them sign a contract to borrow $110K in exchange of a Masters in Global Social and Sustainable Enterprises? Did Bank of America trick the kids into borrowing more money than their useless degree is likely to generate in net worth in a lifetime?

I sure hate to spoil a good pity party, butt some people think the (mostly tax funded) education cartel is what created the Education Bubble. I’m sorry it burst. Butt if you’re going to protest, take it to the campuses. They’re even better equipped than Wall Street to recycle garbage. And they have nice warm buildings for when the weather turns on you.

A very special H/T to BKeyser for sharing this very special site with all of us, and for his own  contribution to the POWS:

Flickr photo BKeyser

This PSA was brought to you by MOTUS: I reflect, you deride.

Non-workers of the world, UNITE! h/t Mark Steyn

UPDATE: Please sign my ”We the People” petition asking President Obama to resign right away. We only have until October 23 to get 5,000 signatures in order to receive an official White House response.

Linked By: Instapundit: INSTALANCHED! WooHoo!, and MailOnline UK, and Blonde on NewsBusters, and MS on Ace of Spades HQ, and Best snark here on Weasel Zippers, and FARK.com, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Zilla of the Reststance, and RIGHTWING NEWS, and linkiest, and The Corey & Jay Show, and The Razor for The Watcher of Weasels Council, and A.N.U.S., Thanks!

Banana Republics and the Nuts Who Run Them

Clearly we have a way to go before this clever little device is perfected, butt as Glenn Reynolds might say: “faster please!”

“Carbon Nanotubes were electrically stimulated to bend light rays away from the object behind the cloaking device, leading to total invisibility.”

Can you even IMAGINE how handy this will be on those days when Lady M just flat out refuses to wear her NASA designed “cloaking” containment systems? Do you have any idea how much easier this would make my job?

Now you see it:

Now you don’t:

Slimming MO’s butt is far from the only useful application around here. Solyndra emails? Now you see them, now you don’t! Gun Walker ties to the gun control lobby? Vanished. JOBS, JOBS, JOBS? Gone!…well OK, it’s not applicable to every problem. Butt still, it’s going to be really handy. Why can’t Big Guy loan this high tech company about a half a trillion dollars? It’s electrically charged carbon nanotubes could be powered by solar batteries. And talk about sustainable: what could sustain us more than a scandal eliminator? For a little more green, we could be “clean” too!

Meanwhile, have you seen what’s happening with the Arab Spring - our model for OWS?  It looks like they’ve advanced to the Arab Fall: violence has broken out in Cairo. See how well this works for shutting down any remaining vestiges of capitalism?

Egypt’s benchmark stock index fell sharply early Monday, dragged down by investor panic after the country’s capital was engulfed by violent clashes not seen since the revolution that ousted former President Hosni Mubarak in February.

The Egyptian Exchange’s EGX30 index dropped by over 5 percent within minutes of the start of the trading session…

I know that all these scandals are starting to make 2012 look a tad rocky:

H/T Janice

Butt we have nothing to worry about. If things don’t work out with our voter registration drive this time around, you’ll still have an opportunity to see Lady M on a regular basis in her new career as a movie actress.

Last year Woody Allen said Barack Obama was "brilliant" and opined that "it would be good...if he could be dictator for a few years."  Now the extreme leftist actor/director has developed a crush on Michelle Obama and according to The Internet Movie Data Base:

Woody Allen has confessed he'd love to cast American First Lady Michelle Obama in his next movie…

I heard something about a re-make of Bananas:

Although it sounds as if Woody has Lady M in mind more as a character actress than a leading lady.

“With some re-writing to bring the story up to date Fielding Mellish could be the unsuspecting puppet of powerful leftists and hedge-fund managers and rise to become President of The United States, but this time Fielding gets the girl.  "The Front" and his wife could be "Small Time Crooks" who emerge from the "Shadows and Fog," commit a series of "Crimes and Misdemeanors" as they "Take the Money and Run."

Butt based on my experience, I’m not sure playing second fiddle is exactly what Lady M has in mind.

Woody as the original Fielding Mellish:

MO as Fielding Mellish in the re-make? I don’t think so.

Although she has played a beard on TV.

Chiquita sponsors Lady M’s MYPLATE nutrition program, allowing them to resume their  support of South American terrorists with impunity.

NEWSFLASH: JWF just reported that Dr. Laura Ingraham has officially named the OWS crowd the “Flea Party.”

Occupy the American Empire: Czars, left, peasants on the right

Before launching into what’s sure to be a busy new week of protests, fundraising and Guinness Book World Records, let’s recap just a few of last week’s achievements before they’re swept into the ash heap of history.

Around this time last week we were still doing cleanup from Lady M’s aisle 3 Target visit to pick up some treats for Little Bo. As it turned out, this was no mere photo op to move the African Safari off the front page. It was also an official launch of “campaign mode: cue the dog” - as evidenced by a flurry of Big White official, adorable Little Bo pictures recently released:

Bo Unleashed:

Little Bo poses plays with a soccer ball

Lady M poses plays with Little Bo

Little Bo poses lounges in the West Garden Room

Butt it worked, because we haven’t heard any more about that African expense report now have we? Of course that might be because everyone is more interested in the new details about Solyndra revealed in our Friday night email dump. Also, people seem to be waiting for the new details related to the Fast and Furious “situation,” which hasn’t caused Big Guy’s faith in Ricky to waiver one iota. Sorta makes you wonder “why not?” though.

Since we anticipate a bit more fall out from those two ginned-up scandals, making it harder to focus on JOBS, JOBS JOBS, we’re going full bore with Van Jones’ diversionary “Occupy (fill-in-the-name-of-of-a-city-near-you) Street American Autumn (Fall) revolution” – a term I see Mark Steyn has indicated might present us with a branding issue:

Indeed, Van Jones thinks that the protests are the start of an “American Autumn.” In case you don’t get it, that’s the American version of the “Arab Spring.” Steve Jobs might have advised Van Jones he has a branding problem. Spring is the season of new life, young buds and so forth. Autumn is leaves turning brown and fluttering to the ground in a big dead heap…They burn brightest before they fall and die, and the world turns chill and bare and hard.

So Van Jones may be on to something! American Autumn. The days dwindle down to a precious few, like in whatever that old book was called, The Summer and Fall of the Roman Empire.

Wow! Do you really think Big Guy could be Emperor? Of the Universe?

In that case I’ll just skip the review of the rest of last week’s achievements because even though they might end up in the ash heap, they will still be remembered for a long, long time.

         

Oh, and after a two week hiatus, Big Guy played golf again yesterday. With hunky Big White Assistant chef and Senior Policy Advisor for Healthy Food Initiatives, Sam Kass.

Sam’s a leftie too! What are the odds?

Then Big Guy flew off to Camp David (by himself) to reflect on the economy and recession that Bush left him to fix. Maybe now that he’s finally getting a little alone-time he can figure it out.

After all, he is the smartest man ever to be President. And a Nobel Prize winner too.

Big Guy has an economic discussion with the only man smart enough to follow his logic (himself)

 

Note: Dewey From Detroit has a report on the OWS crowd too.

Linked By:  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!