Lady M, greeting kids with her signature 10-digit royal wave
You may have heard that Lady M was at the Royal Castle yesterday. Let me be Baccarat crystal clear on this: the press reports were NOT referring to the Big White. The “Royal Castle” is a school in New Orleans “that focuses on preschoolers from families with moderate and low incomes.” It was yesterday’s target for Lady M’s No Child’s Fat Behind empathy tour. The charming batik print top MO chose for the visit was last seen at a school in South Africa in June:
Double high fives in South Africa in an African themed batik
At the Royal School Lady M danced , jumped and marched with kids as their teachers and families stood around watching the spectacle.
Which is pretty much what happened when she wore it in SA, only in different slacks, and with a soccer ball to kick around:
Let’s Move! kids - that’s one of my trademarks!
With the physical exercise was completed, Lady M began the mind-shaping portion of the program and read the children a story about why they should eat their peas.
Big Guy leaving his “eat their peas” press conference last July
Remember? At his “Give Peas a Chance” presser on the debt ceiling and the deficit? In between the “let me be crystal clear”s, the “millionaires and billionaires” and the “private jets” we got down to Big Guy’s deficit reduction plan: pulling off the Band-Aid and eating your peas.
Do any of you still doubt how efficient our government is? Here we have an excellent example of how consistent, co-ordinated and targeted a government-educational complex propaganda message can be. Note how it works, hand in glove; glove in your pocket. You won’t find anything this seamless outside of…well, the Soviet Union is gone so maybe ours is the premier pogrom system now.
Now, in order for you to do a little forward planning for the month: it’s official. Lady M will be accompanying Big Guy to the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) summit which he is hosting in Hawaii on November 12.
While President Obama hosts a global economic summit for the first time this month, the first lady will take spouses of the world’s leaders to the valley where ABC-TV’s “Lost” and the classic ”Jurassic Park” were filmed.
No, what I’m talking about is Joseph Curl’s hit piece on Lady M accusing her of being a mean angry woman. Wow! I wonder where THAT came from?
Oh yeah, maybe here.
Just as her husband’s re-election strategy is inanely simplistic - blame the Republicans for thwarting his brilliant, economy-saving policies - so too is the first lady’s. She will go to the opulent homes of rich people across the country to tell them how rich people are to blame for America’s woes and guilt them into giving millions for her husband’s campaign.
Naturally, that got picked up by and elaborated on by none other than El Rushbo (I sure hope this doesn’t crash his server!). Normally Rush doesn’t dip his toe into my reflecting pool, butt this time it sounds like he might have taken things personally:
“I'm tired of being blamed, flat-out tired of having the finger pointed at me and you and everybody else who's working or trying to work or trying to get a job. Instead, what do we do? We're supposed to have sympathy and compassion for a bunch of whining losers! We're supposed to feel sorry for a bunch of people who are where they are because they have chosen it. And, as I say, their number one choice has been to vote Democrat. You get what you pay for.”
Sure: blame the Democrats! As if they’re the ones who pushed the deficit through the roof; the ones who are blocking drilling for domestic oil and gas, destroying jobs through oppressive regulation, trying to raise job-killing business taxes…uh, well, OK, it was. Butt that doesn’t mean they’re clueless!
“I fear President Obama doesn’t have an economic plan at all, and that everything Republicans have said about the White House being filled with people who have never signed the front of a paycheck and don’t have a clue is completely accurate. (snip)
At this point, the Obama campaign must believe you can beat something with nothing, and the campaign is in charge.”
It’s not as if we aren’t working on our plan. Did you not get Plouffee’s email last week? Now that the team’s lack of focus seems to be effecting not only Big Guy’s popularity, butt also his secret weapon - Lady M herself – I’m sure we’ll be all over it.
I know, I know - I couldn’t believe Lady M’s poll numbers are starting to slip a bit either. We’re not panicking though, because we’re still way ahead of Big Guy. Still, we dropped 3 points since May - in a Marist poll!? We own those guys!
According to the Marist Poll released Monday, 63 percent of Americans hold a favorable view of Michelle Obama while 21 percent hold an unfavorable view of her. That’s a slight dip from six months ago when Marist last surveyed voters’ opinions of the first lady. In May, Marist found that 66 percent of voters hold a favorable view of Obama.
Don’t worry. Plouffee has a plan for this too: he’s calling it the “Occupy the White House” movement. Catchy. I’ve been assigned to work up some “Be part of the 63%” posters.
I’ll have a chance to work on that a bit later since our day has been cut short by this dispatch from Houston: “We’ve got a problem. Mission scrubbed.”
No, nothing to do with the Occupy Houston crowd. Although we seem to have a problem with them too:
Our immediate problem with that leg of Lady M’s DNC campaign trip seems to have been truncated by a truculent teachers union. Wouldn’t you think they could’ve waited until after the bag lady made the pick up before protesting the inequities of the 1%? These people really need to get with the program.
“I’m with you guys, butt first I have to rake in another $200 million to make this quarter’s juice.”
So today we’ll just be hitting up the 1% of New Orleans (actually, 50% of New Orleans’ 99% moved to Houston after Katrina - there must be some kind of irony in there somewhere). Oh, and of course MO will be hosting a Let’s Move event at the Royal Castle Child Development Center since that’s why she just happened to be here in the Southern half of the fund raising belt in the first place: official No Child’s Fat Behinds business.
Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have a few pics to post from the public event (Fat Kids’ Behinds) for you tomorrow. As always, the fund raisers are embargoed to protect the guilty.
At least the NOLA crowd seems to be getting down with our program. Ain’t dat right, bro?
Today, thanks to Shatzi, we’re going to discuss a word recently introduced to the English language: ineptocracy.
Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government where the least capable to lead:
Big Guy and Little Joe
are elected by the least capable of producing:
It’s nice someone still wants to learn Latin and Greek. Butt let me see if I’ve got this right: the “worthless” (your words, not mine) degree you chose to spend $100k on is going to land you in the unemployment line? And you thought that would be a good idea - because??
A note for future Classical Studies majors – prospects are directly correlated to your ability to produce something people are willing to pay for. Right now, pontificating in ancient Greek doesn’t appear to be in high demand. Just so you know.
and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed are rewarded with goods and services:
Uh, I don’t know. Butt be careful, because it looks like your habits could well end up polluting those “rivers” of prosperity that you covet so:
paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.
Included among the 1% of the wealthiest in the country are these American-hating Celebrities in Simpatico. I assume they are all willing to have their wealth confiscated in order to be eaten by the other 99%:
L to R from top left, music moguls Russell Simmons and Kanye West, has-been actors Roseanne Barr, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon (I know, I mistakenly took Tim for a Lesbian-of-a-certain-age at first too)
Michael Moore was also down with the little people, Occupying Wall Street in a big way:
Looks like Mikey’s eaten a few of those rich
Although he does qualify on the IHA front, due to all of the iconic “I Hate America and Here’s Why” movies like Roger and Me, (bashing GM) Bowling for Columbine (bashing the Second Amendment) , Farenheit 911 (bashing Bush) Sicko (bashing the American health care system) Capitalism: a Love Story (bashing American Capitalism), apparently he’s not part of the 1%:
As he explains here to Piers Morgan, the reason he’s not part of the 1% is not because he’s not rich, butt because he’s dedicated his whole career to hating on America!
Later on I guess Mickey was shamed into conceding that he actually was part of the 1%. Butt he explained that he’s exempted from the vitriol and hatred that he was encouraging everyone to direct towards the rest of the 1% because - even though he was de facto part of the 1% - he was really down with the unwashed masses because he too was once unemployed. Therefore, he is a certified “I hate America” one-percenter.
Back visiting OWS for the third time!
I was not previously aware of that exemption, so I guess that lets the above gallery of otherwise-one-percenters off the hook too.
This is beginning to explain a lot of things I’ve been wondering about:
Oh! That reminds me: big shindig last Saturday night: National Italian American Foundation Gala. Fancy Nancy got a new hairdo to go with her new (again) face:
Lady M couldn’t make it, she was busy baking healthy cookies for the Halloween party. Big Guy was the keynote speaker, and after admitting that he doesn’t have one drop of Italian blood in him, can’t sing and can’t cook he conceded: "So all I've got to offer is a last name that ends in a vowel. "That's all I've got." Apparently that was enough.
“Although, I must say, it might be nice to know what our politics would (be) like without the contribution of Machiavelli. That's been internalized a little too much here in Washington."
Indeed.
So let’s end today’s lesson with another word definition, although this one is certainly not new:
MACHIAVELLIAN (Ma·chi·a·vel·lian) - suggesting the principles of conduct laid down by Machiavelli; specifically: expediency, deceit, cunning, or bad faith
You might initially think that today’s two words are mutually exclusive. Butt you would be so wrong.
This has been a horrible month. E-Ricky hauled up by his own petards to testify before Congress, the sunset on our Solyndra solar deal, no vacays since Martha’s and none in the foreseeable future. Our poll numbers are still slogging around in the bottom of the toxic waste dumpster. The only thing that seems to pull Big Guy out of his funk these days is whacking somebody – anybody - with his life-size hellfire drone kill set that George W gave him as an inaugural gift.
My ol’ buddy Mondo is founder/editor/writer at Death By a Thousand Papercuts, a truly top shelf blog where you can find articles by the greatest authors on the intertubes including, well, moi! Mondo also writes for Andy Breitbart at Big Journalism. Butt I think he may have gone a wee bit too far this time, because his book already has everybody here in the Big White all wee-weed up.
Lets review a few of the secrets that Mondo reveals:
Did you know that Big Guy was once a spy? For her Majesty’s Secret Service? Ok, I spilled some of the beans about B07 a while back, butt you were supposed to think that I was just messing with you. Now Mondo blows the whole gig wide open.
Mondo has the real story. You didn’t hear about it because you don’t live in Italy, don’t speak Italian, and the MSM doesn’t report anything that’s not complimentary, especially if it’s not in English. Butt here’s how it went down:
In 2005, then-Senator Barack Obama went on a mission to Russia with Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN). The newly-minted U.S. senator was invited to be part of a Russian fact-finding tour that inspected a nuclear weapons site in Perm, Siberia. The base Lugar and Obama visited was where mobile launch missiles were being destroyed under the Cooperative Threat Reduction program (CTR), which also went by the name of the Nunn-Lugar program.
What happened next -- after the inspections were over -- was at the time reported by several foreign news sources but was never reported in the USA by the CMM. The Russians detained Obama and Lugar for three hours at the airport, demanding to examine both Obama's and Lugar's passports and search their plane. Some sources reported that the Russians accused Barack Obama of being a spy.
But wait -- there's more!
According to an Italian source, the Russians did not accuse Obama of being an American spy; they accused him of being a spy for the British! The report went on to say that the incident ended up involving the White House, the U.S. State Department, and military officials, along with their counterparts in Moscow.
Strangely enough, an official report from Lugar's office about the trip never mentioned the incident. Neither did Barack Obama in 2008 when he was desperate to exhibit some foreign policy chops.
And, interestingly, neither did the still R-word occupied White House think to mention it. I think future Owies will be studying the 2008 election in their History of Socialist America for the next 200 years.
Then Mondo shines some light on how Big Guy managed to pull off that 1981 Paki-vacay, back when he claimed to be penniless. Did anyone really think we needed to fact check the “Dreams from My Father” version of this story? I mean, besides Mondo? What he found is going to require me to reformat and update my hard drive.
Shall we just just say it should not come as any big surprise that Big Guy can maneuver his hellfire drones around the area as well as he can without the aid of a GPS.
Let’s ride!
Anyway, I hate people who tell you how the movie ends, so I’m not revealing any more of Mondo’s “Obama secrets.” Although if you want to know more, and I know you do, you can read a longer excerpt on American Thinker and you can even get your very own copy for about 16 bucks at Amazon. Just be sure to specify “The Secret Life of BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA” because otherwise you’re likely to end up with one of the other many books in the “Secret Life of Obama” series:
As long as you’re going to be over on Amazon anyway though, you might want to pick up one of these great toys for the kids or grandkids. They’re going to be the must-have toy this holiday season, so don’t procrastinate, they’re going fast.
Kids! Be the first on your block to have the Obama Drone Kill Kit! Tell Mom and Dad you want one for Christmas Winter Holiday! Available for a limited time only from General “We bring good things to life” Electric. Or…um, sometimes… death.
Not that there’s anything wrong with slogans. Or taglines.
As long as you’re using your imagination. h/t Doug Ross
Oh goodness! I almost forgot about the big festivities last night. To everyone’s surprise, global warming blew in a few snowflakes for the big Halloween party! Al Gore was not available for comment, which is a good thing because an angry mob of OWS (occupy warm spaces) showed up to protest.
Take me to your Goracle!
Butt the party went on as planned, just with a few more layers of clothing, which is never a bad thing when we’re talking about Lady M.
Lady M, dressed as a postmodern Halloween Barbasol pole
Granny R dressed as a mean bunny (sorry amusing bunni, I couldn’t stop her)
Big Guy, as always, went as the Candy Man
Little Bo, wisely, decided to stay indoors with the girls after he learned he’d been turned into a Halloween decoration.
Oh well, at least the goody bags this year were heavy on the sweets and light on the organic fruit:
Cookies, check. Presidential M&M’s, check. Apple slices, check. Prunes…eee-uuuu!
Happy Halloween!
Yes, I know it’s not until Monday, butt we march to the beat of our own drum major around here, so get with the program.
We can’t wait for Congress! Celebrate Halloween now!
Big Guy leaving his “eat their peas” press conference last July
“I’m with you guys, butt first I have to rake in another $200 million to make this quarter’s juice.”
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