“President Obama tried to steal a piece of the Iowa spotlight tonight with a nostalgia-filled live address to his Democratic supporters over the internet, at times hampered by static and sporadic audio interruptions that made him difficult to understand.”
I dunno, techie-boyz: next time I might just go with Skype
I don’t want to rain on Devin Dwyer’s parade, butt I don’t really think that the “static and sporadic audio interruptions” made Big Guy that much harderer to understand than usual:
Butt I will say this: Mitt wins on the “rockin’ a pair of mom jeans” front:
As for rockin’ a boob belt, well, you decide. Butt keep in mind, Ann really doesn’t really know very much about boob-belts yet so she’s sportin’ it on her waist. How fashion backward is that?
Back to the caucuses though: 25,000 Iowans showed up last night at Democratic caucuses to watch Big Guy on the Big Screen. And while that’s impressive, it’s 215,000 fewer than showed up back in 2008, the year BO was nostalgically recalling. That year, 240,000 Iowans showed up at the Caucuses, and over 90,000 of them voted for Big Guy. Butt since we weren’t running against Hillary and John Edwards this time around we didn’t need to bus in our auxiliary staff and caucutators. So the numbers were down slightly, like 90%.
What a difference a caucus makes
See what I mean? The years have not been kind to everyone:
Smile John, pretend it’s not a mugshot
Smile Hil, pretend you’re not a hot mess working for your most despised enemy…
Smile BO, you 'da man!
Some of us seem to have weathered the shoals of a brutal election cycle just fine, managing to keep our chins up somehow.
Lady M and Big Guy working the Iowans at the 2008 Jefferson-Jackson Day pre-caucus Dinner
Yes, some of us look even better now than we did four years ago.
I attribute it all to healthy living -
…and being proud of your country for the first time in your adult life.
What else could it be?
I mean besides makeup, photoshop and cosmetic chops?
So sad: leaving Hawaii. It’s kind of like leaving Las Vegas, only not as empty handed.
Butt we’re back in D.C. now; the eagle officially landing at 6:50 am.
Happy family, as always, returning to the Big White
We wrapped up our last full day in Big Guy’s alleged birth state with a nice adult-only dinner (and nice adult beverages) at Nobu Waikiki Sunday night:
Nobu specialties: yellowtail sashimi jalapeno and miso marinated black cod
Then we went back to the compound in order to let staff pack up for our departure last night:
Rested. Ready to take on any of those wascally Weepublicans, all of whom "support the failed policies of past." As opposed to the failed policies of the present.
And here we are – back in freezing, gridlocked Washington:
Paparazzi alert. Smile!
And happy to be here! We are so ready to get back to work on for the American people! In fact, Big Guy’s unofficially launching his reelection campaign tonight with a live Web-feed video chat with his Iowa caucus delegates. So we’ve got our priorities straight. There’s no way we can get our job done around here if we don’t first get reelected.
Besides, does anyone really think that Iran is serious about all that saber rattling? And even if they are, don’t worry, if the Iranians actually decide to close the straits of Hormuz or fire off some nuclear warheads, we’ll buy them off by giving them a few more of our super-secret fighter jets to play with.
Anyway, back to the exciting campaign, here’s a little sneak preview. As you know, we’ve been floating a lot of different WTF strategies, butt now we’ve settled on a theme: Blame the Republicans. And their Do-nothing Congress. (H/T Teddy Roosevelt) Combined with constant reminders of the “breathtaking greed” (Wall Street, Republicans, Romney – get it?) that drove us into the ditch in the first place, the boyz around here figure they’ve nailed it. Our polls indicated we were losing traction with the “hang it on Bush” meme, butt nothing augers for a huge populist win like a good old fashioned class war.
…the president is planning to step up his offensive against an unpopular Congress, concluding that he cannot pass any major legislation in 2012 because of Republican hostility to his agenda. He intends to “hammer the theme of economic justice for ordinary Americans rather than continue his legislative battles with Congress,”
even though, as Peter notes, Big Guy got almost everything he asked for during his first two years:
Moreover, Obama, during the first two years of his presidency, was enormously successful in getting his agenda enacted into law. He got almost everything he wanted, which some of us believe is precisely the problem. And to the extent that we’re facing a “do-nothing” Congress today, the responsibility lies with the Democratically-controlled Senate, not the GOP House. These days the Senate (which has not passed a budget in more than 900 days) is the place legislation goes to die.
Butt in an electoral campaign, truth is always subservient to the expedient:
But to really enter the Twilight Zone, consider these two priceless sentences from the Times story: “Winning a full-year extension of the payroll tax, Mr. Earnest said, will still be a top priority. He noted that House Republicans were now also arguing that it should be extended for a year, after some initially opposed extending it at all.”
Come again? On December 13, the GOP House passed a full-year extension of the payroll tax cut – and was promptly criticized by – you guessed it — the president. Obama favored a much shorter, two-month extension. House Republicans, under intense political pressure, eventually agreed to the two-month extension. Now the White House is declaring a full-year extension is a “top priority.” Yet as recently as three weeks ago the opposition to the president’s “top priority” came not from House Republicans but from Obama himself.
We are now reaching the point in which the president is running a truly post-modern campaign, in which there is no objective truth but simply narrative. Obama’s campaign isn’t simply distorting the facts; it is inverting them. This kind of thing isn’t unusual to find in the academy. But to see a president and his campaign so thoroughly deconstruct truth in order to maintain power is quite rare. The sheer audacity of Obama’s cynicism is a wonder of the modern world.
So you see what we’re up against: more GOP lies and distortions. Butt really, who doesn’t love a good post-modern campaign?
Were just having a little trouble settling on our official 2012 campaign poster. Which one do you like best? I can’t guarantee we’ll go with the one that gets the most votes, since I understand we’re waiving certain democratic rules until we get this country back on the right track, butt it might make you feel better to cast your vote anyway.
Poster Candidates for our Post-Modern WTF Campaign
The family spent yesterday visiting their ancestral roots. First, a stop at great-grandfather’s grave, and then a visit to the University of Hawaii for the Wee Wons to get a look at their grandmother’s other legacy to the human race:
I think we can say we’ve reached nirvana on those two fronts:
gender equity
Stanley’s little boy has mastered the “financing” - aka borrowing money from other people – part; I guess we could stand to work on the “micro” part a little bit more.
Although Wee Won One seems to be getting the hang of the micro concept:
Whoa Big Guy! Can’t you issue a signing statement regarding the length of skirts in public? I’m not talking a full burka, just maybe another couple of inches?
And even though she ditched the kid sent Barack back to Hawaii to be raised as an American by his grandparents while she pursued her passion for third world crafting, she apparently passed on to him some of her love for the skills she pursued so passionately.
“Ann Dunham spent many years studying village iron forging, blacksmithing, iron, copper, bronze, and brass casting, welding, the metal repair industries, and tool sharpening and mending.”
Stanley Ann’s progeny has demonstrated an interest in metal casting.
And he’s already combined his love of alchemy with his inherited knowledge of micro-financing in order to make the world a better place:
“So, let’s turn these Solyndra solar panels into gold, ok, boys?”
He also shares his mother’s appreciation for the art of hand wrought daggers:
“Because the Indonesian tradition is so venerable, there is much legend and lore about the power of the blacksmith and in fact blacksmiths who know how to make the traditional and symbolic daggers—keris—are thought to be imbued with great spiritual powers.”
Of course, being raised by Alinsky’s Rules, Big Guy knows that where they bring knives, we need to bring guns. Also hand made, right here in the good old U.S. of A.
A small stash from the Fast and Furious gun walker program
And apparently Big Guy shares his Mom’s love of textiles as well.
“Ann Dunham was a passionate collector and lover of textiles. She had learned to weave in the University of Hawai‘i Art Department and carried this love of handwork into her academic and professional life. In Java, where she first encountered life in Asia, she found the extraordinary textile traditions very much alive.”
BO, using his keen, inherited knowledge of textiles to dress up our Iraq exit strategy.
And I should mention here that the love of fabrics in general, and upholstery fabrics in particular, is something that Stanley Ann also passed on to her daughter-in-law, who has embraced it whole heartedly:
And finally, one last native craft for which Big Guy has always shared Stanley Ann’s fascination: the Javanese craft of constructing leather shadow puppets, which she studied for years:
“In order to make a shadow puppet, the buffalo hide must be cleaned, the fur removed, and the hide dried and tanned. The better the transparency and the smoother the hide, the more valuable for shadow puppet carving.”
I must admit: not bad really, for a first attempt.
Of course, we did get a little “micro” financing in order to put a professional sheen on it.
Happy New Year! The Promise of 2012 is palpable! I guess we’ll have to wait and see if all the prophesies for this eventful year are accurate:
Ancient Mayan Prophecy Predicts the End of the World in 2012
Butt heck! It’s New Years Day! Lets enjoy some scenes from last night’s revelry, and maybe consider a couple of New Year’s Resolutions.
Lady Gaga was on hand to bring in the New Year in Times Square with Mayor Bloomberg, and a dignified arrival it was:
Although Bloomie might have been a tad underdressed, Gaga, for her part, did not disappoint: sporting three sparkly costumes:
Lady Gaga sports costumes representing the three possible monetary standards the U.S. is considering for 2012: silver, gold and mud.
Lady Gaga who would have you believe she was “Born This Way” actually wasn’t. Like her idol, Madonna (nee Ciccone), Gaga was born a sweet little Italian girl named Stefani Germanotta..
Madonna, L, Stefani, R, at their First Communion,above, and below, before they were just material girls
And while Madonna is clearly Lady Gaga’s idol and inspiration, at just 25 LG may wish to make note of certain decisions Madonna, who will turn 54 this year, has made and file them away for future reference. And since some of these decisions are irreversible for Madge, allow me to suggest a few age-appropriate New Year Resolutions for the original Material Girl, to help her transition into the second half of her century.
We’ll start with the simple stuff: Let’s face it Madge: there is a chronological age at which – no matter how toned you keep those arms – you might want to consider covering them up:
Along the same lines, even if you have rock hard abs, like Trudie Skyler here, (Mrs. Sting),
bare mid-drifts are just not your friend any more, girl.
Even on a Sticky and Sweet concert tour, a bare middle section seems somehow inappropriate after a “certain” age.
Actually, the “bare” part goes for a lot of other body parts as well after a certain point. If you know what I mean.
And speaking of legs: we might want to reconsider certain boot styles as well:
I don’t care how you try to skirt it, and wrap it in patriotism, after a certain point thigh highs might not be the best choice.
Oh, and one last thought: you might want to swear off further cosmetic “enhancements” after the first 50 (enhancements, not years). Although with proper makeup ($15,000 per session) and photo touchup skills you’ll still look great, when you leave the gym sans makeup, well, you might scare people.
Just ask Melanie Griffith what can happen if you get carried away.
Melanie Griffith, vacationing with the 1% in Aspen. Apparently money can’t buy everything.
Butt if you do insist on having future cosmetic surgery to ward off the effects of aging, I do have one additional New Year’s Resolution you may want to adopt: hire HER surgeon:
Raquel: part of the 1/2 of the 1/2 of the 1% where looks are concerned – how is that fair?
Raquel Welch. Age: 71 Is this even legal in America? Where we’re all supposed to be equal?
Happy New Year to everyone from Raj, Little Mo, Little Bo and Moi!
I dunno, techie-boyz: next time I might just go with Skype
Smile John, pretend it’s not a mugshot
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