A Big Bite Out of the Big Apple

First, there was the bowling for dollars fundraiser at Chelsea Piers. It only cost $150, way cheap by Lady M standards, butt we needed to throw an event that some of the little people could afford. So natch, we picked a bowling party for the cheap event.

The silver-lining? We finally established Lady M’s boundary: when she said “I’m pretty much willing to make a complete fool out of myself” apparently that didn’t include bowling.  She declined the offer to kegel a frame by saying it was because "bowling is like a potato chip -- you can't just do one;"  so I guess it has nothing to do with bowling’s beer frame/blue collar heritage.

Lady M’s second pickup yesterday, following the taping of Late Night, was a much pricier event in Tribeca. This one was hosted by Robert De Niro - frequent Big White visitor and frequent Big Guy fundraiser (coincidence).

Leavin’ Letterman: we changed into a little black and silver number for the Tribeca fete

Robert De Niro played host at Locande Verde, the restaurant in his Greenwich Hotel, for a lady-centric political fund-raiser last night featuring Beyoncé, Star Jones, Whoopi Goldberg, Angela Bassett, and guest of honor Michelle Obama.

And who invited Beyoncé? Shouldn’t she be staying home to take care of her new baby instead of prancing around town looking, uh, hot?

Beyoncé, out and about last weekend

Butt speaking of babies, did you know that Robert and Grace just welcomed their new baby girl (born by surrogate mom) last month? True. Impressive: most people are babysitting the grandkids at their ages (68 and 56), not busy looking to hire their own nanny.

Never too old to bring another limousine liberal into the world: we’ll always need donors

Anyway, look at all the big names hosting this little soiree at DeNiro’s Greenwich hotel:

With names like that you can get away with charging  $5-25k per head (a steal at any price).

DeNiro's wife Grace Hightower also warmed up the crowd ahead of the First Lady's remarks. She ticked off Obama's accomplishments in the last three years and said he was up against "vampire energies" as he tried to get things done."

Vampire Energy: It sucks money out of your pocket even if you think they’re inactive. Apparently they’re always working in the background whether you know it or not. Sounds more like the Dems to me.

Also attending Bobby and Gracie’s cash-drop were several of the other usual suspects: Harvey Weinstein and designer wife Georgina Chapman, Gayle King, and Ben Stiller; in all, 85 marks, many of them women.

Lady M gave the crowd their money’s worth, as she always does:

After nearly a half-hour making a stump speech of sorts, the First Lady asked the fired-up crowd: “Final question to you all: Are you in?”
The crowd responded with raucous cheers as she repeated the question.
As the crowd chanted, “Fired up! Ready to go!” Obama left, waving her hands, blowing kisses and stopping for a brief hug with a young girl.

The hot topic of the night in Tribeca seemed to be the Republican War on Women: specifically "how the Republicans had crossed the line in terms of women's rights." I don’t know why all these wealthy Dems are so concerned with contraception all of a sudden. Maybe it’s because they prefer to have their babies by surrogate. Whatever, they sure seem riled up about Big Guy not being able to ram free condoms down people throats. Butt from the crowd response last night, it will provide just the sort of rallying cry we were looking for.

Angela would want you to

Anyway, speaking about the R-word’s War on Women reminds me of Lady M’s earlier visit with late night talk show host and misogynist David Letterman. As the Other Michelle has complained from time to time, David’s track record on “womyns rights” has been at times dismissive, even derisive:

Dear Dave Letterman
by Michelle Malkin
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2009

Dear David Letterman,

Will you teach your son to talk about women and girls the way you talk about Sarah Palin and her daughters?

You called the married 45-year-old mother, grandmother, and Alaska governor “a slutty flight attendant” on your national TV talk show because she happens to be a tall, beautiful, and dynamic public figure who doesn’t look, walk, or talk the way you think she should.

You joked on national television about Palin’s teenage daughters “getting knocked up” by professional baseball player Alex Rodriguez or solicited by the prostitute-addicted former New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer because it’s acceptable in your social and professional circles to sneer openly at the children of politicians you despise…

Butt like the true professional fund raiser she is, Lady M just ignored Dave’s previous bad behavior because, well, he’s got a lot of money, and we need a lot of money. And he’s a liberal, which is good for at least one or two get out of jail free cards.

So we started off on official business:

Obama, wearing a color-block dress in blue, green and cream adorned with a large sparkly blue brooch, dropped by Letterman's show to promote her Joining Forces initiative to support military families, and to talk up her husband, President Obama.

For the appearance we chose a very vogue color block frock, a look Lady M rocked last summer before everyone was doing it.

Then we covered some light topics:

Hypothetically speaking, at the end of the day, has your husband ever come home and said to you, 'Oh, that John Boehner, what an idiot'?" Letterman asked.

"It has never happened, never, never," she replied. "He is always upbeat,

Deplaning on the up-beat

particularly about Congress."

That would be the “Do Nothing Congress” – the one we’re upbeat about running against.

Then things turned a little more emotional on the Late Night set:

"We had rules, we had boundaries, but there wasn't anything my dad wouldn't do for us, and, uh--don't make me cry.  This isn't 'Oprah'!  It's supposed to be 'Letterman.' What's up?  Where are the laughs?"

Dave almost made Lady M cry real tears. Almost, then she remembered it wasn’t Oprah.

The audience didn’t even get any free stuff, other than the bumper stickers Lady M brought. Of course, now that Oprah’s new network is going down the tubes, she’s not giving away free stuff anymore either. Boy this economy really sucks doesn’t it?

 

In closing, one last observation on the so-called hot trend of “color blocking:” it’s just a fancy term for recycling grandma’s tablecloths.

      

Lady M’s color blocked frock was most likely wasted on David anyway, I hear he’s color blind. Of course, all liberals claim that.

UPDATE: Apparently certain people (Newt) took umbrage with Mr. De Niro’s comment last night -

"Callista Gingrich. Karen Santorum. Ann Romney. Now do you really think our country is ready for a white first lady?" De Niro asked to cheers from the crowd. "Too soon, right?"

and called on Big Guy to apologize.

"I do want to say one thing, both on behalf of my wife and on behalf of Karen Santorum and on behalf of Ann Romney, I think that Robert De Niro's wrong," Gingrich said. "I think the country is ready for a new first lady and he doesn't have to describe it in racial terms."

He went on to say that Lady M and the others were all fine women, butt this wasn’t about them, it was about Big Guy.

So our campaign has issued an official statement, more or less apologizing on Bobby’s behalf. It’s unclear from here if Big Guy has placed personal calls yet to Calista, Karen and Ann just to find out if they’re doing alright, and to assure them that their husbands are proud of them.

The Revolution Has Started Without You

Boy oh boy, leave it to the Canusians to report the news that’s too hot for our own Legacy Media to handle . Obama Executive Order: Peacetime Martial Law! (H/T: 3XALADY)

Did you see Big Guy’s new Executive Order yet? He just loves to issue orders, whether it’s just a beer or to take out a terrorist at large. Issuing orders is how you can tell that you Won:

Which Won?

I’m just a little wonkier than your average mirror, so if you don’t hang out all day at whitehouse.gov waiting for something to happen like I do, you may have missed this EO about setting up martial law.

Now, before I get started on the Executive Order I want to point out that some really smart people - Professor William A. Jacobson of Legal Insurrection and  Ed Morrissey of Hot Air - are not “necessarily” alarmed by this new order, saying it’s just an update of an old, standing order (Private aside to Prof. Jacobson: are you ok with lunch next week to review my Supremacy Clause law suit? I’m afraid my statue of limitation will expire soon).

Normally I’d defer to them on matters of law. And perhaps there’s nothing to see here, butt it looks to moi, like Big Guy just “ordered” the activation of his Civilian National Security Force.

You know, the won that’s “just as powerful, just as strong and just as well funded” as the military.

Our new national security preparedness initiative orders Big Guy’s most loyal and trusted Secretaries to do whatever is necessary, by whatever means necessary to ensure the U.S. has:

…an industrial and technological base capable of meeting national defense requirements and capable of contributing to the technological superiority of its national defense equipment in peacetime and in times of national emergency.  The domestic industrial and technological base is the foundation for national defense preparedness.  The authorities provided in the Act shall be used to strengthen this base and to ensure it is capable of responding to the national defense needs of the United States.

Let me summarize: If Big Guy needs it, Big Guy takes it. Simple, no?

So what might Big Guy need?

                     

           

Just a few basics. You probably won’t even miss them.

Of course any Executive Order worth it’s salt has its own code name and a slew of Czars. Butt for our Big Peace Time Martial Law Order, we’re kicking it up a notch: we’re  appointing Field Marshals.

Big Guy hasn’t settled on the code name yet butt the following are all still in the running: FU, UPYRS, EATIT, BITEME, and FUBR. We have picked our Field Marshals however, and you’ll be relieved to know that they are all experienced professionals:

Supreme Field Marshal Janet “Bruno” Napolitano:

The Department of Homeland Security: because we may have to seize your liberties in order to save them.

Field Marshal Timothy “Toxic Timmy” Geithner:

Sharpen that pencil Timmy, the Department of Treasury will need to secure additional revenues for everything else that Big Guy is going to need. That means you might have to give a little bit more.

Field Marshal Eric “Ricky” Holder:

h/t Breitbart

Eric’s Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms may have to confiscate your guns. For your own good, of course.

Field Marshal Tommy “Sacker” Vilsack:

The Secretary of the Department of Agriculture will be bringing Shirley Sherrod back to determine how many of your crops Big Guy will be needing.

Field Marshal Kenneth “Zorro” Salazar:

Secretary of the Department of the Interior Kenny will be in charge of confiscating all operating gas and oil wells and ordering new ones drilled in order to fuel our National Security Force. You can use rechargeable batteries.

Field Marshal John E. Bryson:

Whatever it takes, John-boy

Secretary of the Department of Commerce Bryson will be in charge of confiscating everything not covered elsewhere.

Field Marshal Hilda “Soul Sista” Solis

Hilda, announcing the re-assignment of GM’s UAW workers: security forces are standing at the ready

The Department of Labor will be in charge of commandeering the civilian worker bees for reassignment wherever we need them. Keep a bag packed.

Field Marshal Kathleen “Kitty” Sebelius

The Department of Health and Human Services is responsible for ensuring that our population is healthy, strong and young enough to fight. Kitty will enforce this goal by ensuring that those who are too old, ill and expensive to care for are, well, given “the pain killer.”  Kitty has announce the appointment of Ezekiel Emanuel (Ezekiel NOT Ari:good catch PD-I’m gonna’ have to defrag my HD) as assistant Field Marshall to oversee this effort.

Field Marshal Ray LaHood:

 “About everything we do around here is government intrusion in people’s lives. So have at it.”

The Department of Transportation: because we may need your plane. And you car. Unless you “drive” a Volt. ’Nuff said.

Field Marshal Steven “Chewie” Chu

Immovable force meets irresistible object: mayhem ensues

The Department of Energy will be responsible for ensuring you are not using our energy wastefully and that you have painted your roof white, built a windmill, installed solar panels and are humanely operating a mouse-on-treadmill generator to recharge your Volt.

Field Marshal Arne Duncan:

You better have the correct answer this time, schmuck, or you’ll be eating pink slime for the next year.

The Department of Education will be responsible for re-educating resistors. Resistance is futile.

Associate Field Marshal William “Boom Boom” Ayres:

Billy will be responsible for conducting all those late-night bomb building seminars for select members of “our” militia.

So, as you can see and as we’ve been told, there’s really nothing to worry about. We are on correct path, comrades.

Oh! I almost forgot! I will be on the team too, as the Field Marshall of Snark. Unofficially of course, butt reporting the truth from the field whenever and wherever I encounter it.

Well, maybe it will be this time:

h/t bigfurhat

Linked By: Moonbattery, and Knuckledraggin my life away, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Our Irish Heritage meets CRT: Brewski’s All Around!

You just have to admire Big Guy’s stamina don’t you? He didn’t get home from Friday's Moneyhaul until nearly 1:00 AM Saturday, and yet there he was again at 1:00 PM yesterday, off to an Irish Pub in D.C. celebrating St. Paddy’s day with his red-headed cousin from his ancestral village of Moneygall. That’s him in the middle, Henry Healy, 8th cousin on dear old Mum’s side:

Big Guy, cuz Henry Healy and Ollie Hayes at D.C.’s very popular watering hole, The Dubliner.

You may recognize Ollie, he was the bar tender at the pub where Lady M and Big Guy stopped in for a pint last May while visiting Ireland:

Ollie showing Lady M how to pull a pint, May 2011

While technically green, Big Guy’s bluish green jacket doesn’t really pass the authenticity test in a sea of Kelly  green Irish revelers. 

In case you’re not familiar with the family lore, Big Guy’s great-great-great grandfather on his mother’s side, Falmouth Kearney,a shoemaker from Moneygall emigrated from Ireland to the United States in 1850. The rest, as they say, is history.

Unless of course you’re one of those conspiracy theorists who’s still questioning Big Guy’s birth certificate authenticity. There’s long been a theory floating around that BO’s real father wasn’t Barack Hussein Obama Sr. at all, butt rather Frank Marshall Davis, or even Malcolm X. Then came the silly stories that Stanley Ann wasn’t even Big Guy’s real mother!

Butt then… there is the issue of the widely ignored cold case investigation conducted by Sheriff Arpaio that concluded that the “original” birth certificate issued last year by Big Guy was indeed a forgery. Along with his Selective Service registration.

                     AP

“Based on all of the evidence presented and investigated, I cannot in good faith report to you that these documents are authentic,” Arpaio said. “My investigators believe that the long-form birth certificate was manufactured electronically and that it did not originate in paper format as claimed by the White House.”

That’s the work of the vast right-wing conspiracy, butt that doesn’t mean that it won’t open up a whole other can of worms that we really don’t need around here.

The right-wing nutz have long proffered the hypothesis that Frank Marshall Davis is the real father of Big Guy, butt come on…he was just some crazy communist guy in the neighborhood:

Obama's mentor Frank Marshall Davis -- the veiled figure known only as "Frank" in Barack Obama's memoir Dreams from my Father -- was openly sympathetic to Communists. His affiliations with a variety of hard left groups were open. At that time, the Communist Party had tens of thousands of members, some of them clandestine Soviet officials who had penetrated government and industry. It received covert subsidies from the Soviet Union itself. In 1949, Davis himself predicted the collapse of Capitalism:
"Democracy today lies weak and slowly dying from the poison administered by the divident doctors in Washington and Wall Street who have fooled a trusting public into believing that they are the specialists who would save us from the dread diseases of socialism and communism. . . . They hope to hand us fascism disguised as the healed democracy." (Honolulu Record, July 28, 1949, p. 8)

And Big Guy doesn’t even look like him, except for the cigarette.

                            

Now Malcolm X -(another favorite right-wing nutz theory) I have to admit: he could pass as daddy.

                  

Well, except for the ears. And with Big Guy’s original nose.

                

Butt if the birth certificate is indeed fake, that means anyone could be Big Guy’s father – or mother! And while I don’t usually like to start rumors, I couldn’t help butt notice while I was  researching my post on Angela last week, that she and Big Guy do share an uncanny resemblance:

          

                  

Of course, we can’t confirm the ears…yet!

Now, I’m NOT saying that Frank Marshall Davis is related to  Angela Davis, butt they DO have the same last name (in addition to both being communists and big promoters of “social justice” whatever that is). And I have determined that Angie’s father’s name was “Frank Davis” too! Although not “Frank Marshall Davis” – butt still…

Anyway, Big Frank was Big Guy’s early mentor according to his book, Dreams From My Father: "It made me smile, thinking back on Frank and his old Black Power, dashiki self. In some ways he was as incurable as my mother, as certain in his faith, living in the same sixties time warp that Hawaii had created.”

So anyway, I’m sure the physical resemblance between Angie and BO is just a coincidence. Because it doesn’t make any sense: if Black Power advocate Angela was Big Guy’s mother, who on earth could Big Guy’s father possibly be?

       

“Grandpa” Stanley Dunham and young Big Guy

I’m not looking to start any more rumors, I’m just here to reflect on things. And I sure don’t want to cast any doubt on the authenticity of Big Guy’s Irish roots, because they seem to be real.

Bo, getting into his St. Paddy’s day cups

I was just hoping to shed a little light on Big Guy’s background in a way that would explain his commitment to “social justice” and “critical race theory” (CRT) as first articulated by his good friend and teacher at Harvard Law School, Derrick Bell. Butt I’m afraid I didn’t do a very good job, so I refer you to Clarice’s Piece today for a more complete explanation. It is definitely a “must read” – it provides all the basic tenets of CRT as well as insights into how  Big Guy and his team have expertly incorporated them into his (and our) life. Just because Soledad O’Brian doesn’t know anything about CRT that’s not in Wikipedia is no reason why you shouldn’t.

Joe Lewis “Fist” sculpture presiding over downtown Detroit: you might say it’s a monument to CRT.

Big Guy wishes to issue everyone a Black Irish Power salute (or Sláinte, as the case may be) 

Oh, and  speaking of Black Power Salutes reminds me! Because I am now officially a capitalist pig (although not won who can afford to pay a little bit more) and because mainer “double dared” me, Little Mo & Little Bo have stocked my MOTUS Boutique with the new pins:

Shoppe till you drop,and let’s all get out there on November 6th and set them FREE!