Big Guy’s and Dolls

The media seems so pre-occupied with the love songs of B.Hussein Obama (with apologies to J. Alfred Prufrock) disclosed in his latest biography: Barack Obama: The Story (so far)…

Genevieve, Bo, then and now: hawt, or not hawt?

…they haven’t had time to cover some other breaking stories.

For example, we haven’t heard very much about the latest body crammed under the ObamniBus, that of the blind Chinese dissident. After all, it’s not as if Chen Guangcheng is a blind sheikh trying to blow up buildings in New York or something.

It’s as if everyone just forgot about Lady Liberty’s inscription all of a sudden:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

I don’t know - maybe all our empty seats have already been sold to Muslims and Mexican gun runners. And as you well know, the pie is only so big.

As you see, the crust is already getting a little thin

Of course there was BO’s little politically correct tweaking of Liberty’s verse back in 2010 - where he redacted the part about “The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.” So maybe now we’re only letting people in who pose no threat of voting Republican.

I would advise Chen to get a new lawyer and check off the “Native American” box on his application. I understand you can get preferential treatment if you do. As well as make new friends.

Meanwhile the rest of the MSM have been so busy covering Ann Romney’s expensive fish blouse they’ve not even had time to give Lady M props for her fashion chops.

Color blocking the opposition

I guess I see their point though, $900 for a shirt with a giant fish face seems excessive – butt you know how those out-of-touch rich white people, spending their own money, are.

               

At least Ann got two sleeves for her $900. At twice the price, Lady M’s one shouldered Jean Paul Gaultier doesn’t seem to be good value. Then again, it didn’t cost her anything.

Butt hey: I know you’re not interested in any of this. I know what you want to see! The steamy love letters and diary’s of Big Guy’s previous lovers. Sorry. I don’t have any of them. Butt I can show you what David Maraniss has made dug up and is passing off as such. They’re fun too:

“Remember how I said there’s a certain kind of conservatism which I respect more than bourgeois liberalism — [T.S.] Eliot is of this type,” Obama wrote in one letter to McNear. “Of course, the dichotomy he maintains is reactionary, but it’s due to a deep fatalism, not ignorance. And this fatalism is born out of the relation between fertility and death, which I touched on in my last letter — life feeds on itself. A fatalism I share with the western tradition at times. You seem surprised at Eliot’s irreconcilable ambivalence; don’t you share this ambivalence yourself, Alex?”

It’s not just anyone who writes passionately about T. S Eliot to their girlfriend.

And what fresh bullshit is this?

But Obama has now told biographer David Maraniss that the 'New York girlfriend' was actually a composite character, based off of multiple girlfriends he had both in New York City and in Chicago.

Hmmm. A composite; that’s a great idea! I wonder if that’s how Big Guy came up with his own persona? Heck, he could’ve been anything, butt he chose to be a brilliant, poor, half-black son of a great Kenyan academic and a struggling working mom who worked hard, went to Harvard, became a community organizer and ultimately saved the world.

The composite president

I guess this isn’t really such a big deal. After all isn’t this what politicians do all the time? Create a composite of their constituents in order to exploit address their concerns?

Let me just leave you today with this thought: If BO had a girlfriend in college, she would’ve looked like this:

Obama Girl #1

or this:

George Flockhart: Obama Girl #2

Not this:

Amber Lee Ettinger: the original Obama Girl

Linked By: steebo77 on HotAir, and NOBO on Free Republic, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, and Zilla of the Resistance on twitter, and FairDaizie in twitter, Thanks!

Hitler Discovers Obama Stole His Theme Song.

Today’s four words: Vorwärts! Vorwärts! Vorwärts! Vorwärts!

Everything was going along just fine: we had a brand new campaign slogan (“Forward,” in case you live in a cave), Bin Laden was still dead, and Big Guy was busy giving himself a shout out while spiking the ball in the end zone. Then someone breaks the story about our new campaign marching tune being a Third Reich rip off. 

Things went downhill quickly from there.

Sure enough, someone tipped Hitler off about the copyright infringement and he pitched a fit.See for yourself:

Hitler discovers Obama Stole His Theme Song. Warning: strong language and harsh images.

As if that weren’t bad enough, then we find out that the new WTF slogan also has ties to Marxism and socialism. I’m not seeing how this is a WINNING strategy.

At best it’s confusing. Are we going with the little children’s propaganda and snitching Brown Shirt squad?

Watch, Listen, Report

Or for the more advanced cultural revolution of the Marxist’s Red Guard that requires the integration of arts, culture and governance?

  Mao’s Red Guard 

Meanwhile, I’m auditioning some additional campaign slogans, just in case there’s more blowback on our “Forward” theme.

So far my favorite contender is “The Preezy and the Meezy say eat your peasy.”

   

I think that accurately captures the sentiment, butt I’m not sure it meets our new requirement for brevity.

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Doug Powers on twitter, and Clarice on JustOneMinute, and sb on Weasel Zippers, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic,and plainjane on Flopping Aces, and Thumbelina on Mighty Righty, and BigFurHat on iOTW, and Israel Matzav, and MRM on twitter, slickwillie2001 on HotAir, Thanks!

BO the Builder: skills, not so hot, butt he sure can dress the part

Yes, we have another new campaign slogan: Forward. WTF?

Are you kidding? We can’t say anything in four words! Nevertheless, I’ll try to begin each day’s dispatch from the O-zone now on with our four words of the day. Today’s come to you compliments of iOTW (please pardon BigFurHat’s French, he’s passionate)

And now on to the news. Check this out: After three and a half years, Big Guy has finally learned how to properly greet foreign leaders:

Big Guy greets Japan’s Prime Minister Noda. Yay! No bowing! Good boy!

Earlier BO addressed our friends in the building trades, reinforcing some of our forward thinking:

And along the way, unions like yours made sure that everybody had a fair shake, everybody had a fair shot...You believed that prosperity shouldn’t be reserved just for a privileged few; it should extend all the way from the boardroom all the way down to the factory floor.  That's what you believe.  (Applause.)

For further guidance on what you believe, you can check here.

BO the builder, addressing his fans in the trades

Say, that reminds me of another big brain from the past:

Oh wait, those aren’t his ears…never mind.

Big Guy also took the opportunity to hammer the do-nothing (Republican) Congress for not rebuilding bridges (literally) and for refusing to pass a bipartisan bill that could “guarantee work for millions of construction workers.”

Butt having just returned from a cross country trip I can assure you that there are plenty of construction workers spending Big Guy’s stimulus bucks. How about we get them some work building houses and office buildings again instead of closing lanes all along the interstates?

Butt I digress. Big Guy continues:

Not everything should be subject to thinking about the next election instead of thinking about the next generation.  (Applause.)  Not everything should be subject to politics instead of thinking about all those families out there and all your membership that need work…

But we can’t afford to just wait for Congress.  You can’t afford to wait.  So where Congress won’t act, I will.

Great. That’s reassuring.

Trickle Down Tyranny

Then BO continues to hone his stand up skills (just in case, well, you know…)

It’s about what we do together.  In the construction industry, nobody gets very far by themselves.  I'm the first to admit -- I’ve got to be careful here because I just barely can hammer a -- (laughter) -- nail into the wall,

…and a sickle?

and my wife is not impressed with my skills

“That is so lame, Buh-rock.”

when it comes to fixing up the house.  

“Hell, Buh-rock, you can’t even get the Senate to pass your damn bills any more!”

(Laughter.) 

“Doing a little work around the “fixer-upper” – as Romney would call it.” RIMSHOT!

Right now, fortunately, I'm in a rental, so -- (laughter) -- I don't end up having to do a lot of work.

no kidding?

(Laughter and applause.)                                       (h/t Mary)

 

So, take away #1: Lady M is not impressed with BO’s skills.

Butt I think we already knew that.

Take away #2: We need to work on a new slogan. Big Guy’s 25 minute speech, although wildly entertaining,  ran way over Four Words.

Now: on to Lady M’s schedule:

We’re workin’ it: Monday Lady M made two appearances in Colorado Springs; one a closed press meeting with campaign volunteers, and the other, the opening ceremony for the 2012 Warrior Games, a competition for injured service members.

Remember: clothes send a message. Especially during an election year

Not sure a patchwork dress says “ economic prosperity” – unless we’re talking in an ironic way

MO gave the athletes participating in the Wounded Warriors Games the same advice she gives Big Guy every morning:

"Have fun. Don't get hurt. Stay out of trouble.”

Some days it works out better than others

Then it was on to Arizona for Lady M: first a meeting with students who volunteer at an urban farm.

Yeah, I know, I don’t get it either: carrots maybe?

                           

Organic student volunteers

Then on to the real purpose for this trip: a private fundraiser (you know the drill by now: closed press). Oddly, the Official Big White website didn’t publish Lady M’s remarks like they usually do. I guess even they are getting a little bored with the yada yada yada:

And let us not forget all this administration has done to keep our country safe and restore our standing in the world.  I mean, thanks to our brave men and women in uniform, we finally brought to justice the man behind the 9/11 attacks and so many other horrific acts of terror.  (Applause.)  My husband kept his promise and he ended the war in Iraq, brought our troops home, and we are working hard every single day to give them and their families the benefits that they’ve earned.  (Applause.)

Butt I can report that the fund raiser was a big success. Appealing to progressive’s guilt gene seems to work every time:

"Will we be a country where opportunity is limited to just a few at the top?" Mrs. Obama said to 450 people who paid $150 to $10,000 per person to attend the campaign fundraiser. "Or will we be a place where if you work hard, you can get ahead no matter who you are or how you started out?"

Anyway, more of the same today: harping on fair shares and fair shots and fair shakes only we’ll be in Las Vegas and Albuquerque. And no carrots.

Too bad. The carrots were definitely a high point yesterday.

                        

You know what – we should eat more carrots around here! I understand they’re good for your eyesight. How can that be a bad thing?

I only reflect what you can see

Four more words: Eat your f***ing carrots.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Gateway Pundit, and sb on Weasel Zippers, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Norman Einstein on iOwnTheWorld, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, Thanks!

On The Road That Leads To...WTF?

Yesterday was a slow news day in D. C. so I guess I didn’t miss anything. Everyone’s still hung over from all the OED (Obama Eats Dog) jokes at the big press party. And when they woke up in the morning and realized that Big Guy just officially sanctioned the meme for the 6 month run up to the  election  – well, let’s just say there was an equal amount of celebrating and head banging.

Wall. Head. Bang. Repeat.

Which reminds me, I’ll be back on the campaign “celebrating military families” trail with Lady M today: Colorado Springs, Albuquerque, Tucson. We’ve managed to squeeze a few fundraisers into an otherwise very busy schedule of thanking our military men and women for keeping the world free -

Thanks for your support…or service. Right?

and our campaign volunteers for helping, uh, keep Big Guy in charge of the free world. Whatever.

I’m still a little behind the 8-ball due to my road trip, butt I’ll do my best to catch up by tomorrow. I do know that Big Guy will be meeting with Premier Noda of Japan today; one of our few remaining allies without asterisks. Unclear what the purpose is, butt perhaps to add an asterisk? To paraphrase Jimmie from the other night: “Remember when the world rallied around you in hope for a better tomorrow? That was a good one.”

Hee hee. The whole world’s laughing.

And before I sign off, here’s today’s “aw shucks, we’re just raising money for our historic first black president’s historic, first reelection campaign one dollar at a time” moment:

“There’s been a tremendous reaction to that and we’re really grateful for it,” Axelrod, referring to a May 10 fundraiser that Clooney is hosting for Obama in Los Angeles. “I saw, the other day, that Crossroads, Karl Rove’s organization, got a $10 million anonymous donation so it takes 181,000 of our average donations to make up for that [total crock of shit — ed.], so George is pitching in here and lending his name to this event and himself to this event. It’s really helpful to us.” h/t Weasel Zippers, Politico and David “Axe-man” Axelrod

Butt hey, don’t worry David: it looks like we called in the big guns to help you out with all that tedious fund raising. In addition to George we bagged the REALLY Big Dawg: Bill Clinton. Together, BO and Bill they raised over $3 million just last night! We need to take this act on the road.

Now I’m not braggin’ butt seriously…

What a hook up! The world’s biggest dog and the biggest dog eater!

I better leave it at that. I’m technically still en route before joining up with Lady M in Colorado Springs and sometimes these things that you write on the road come back to bite you.

I know what you were expecting…butt aren’t you tired of the dog jokes yet?

Nah! Me neither.

So, till then, this is MOTUS, signing off. Butt don’t worry, I’ll be back later to continue to provide full coverage of both the Preezy and the Meezy; aka the Wonce and Only.

What’s the difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull?

The Big White Correspondents Dinner proved one thing for sure: Big Guy’s speech writers are no better at writing comedy than they are policy. And they aren’t very good at that either. Butt that’s OK, because that’s not what they’re supposed to do for a living.

 

For his part Big Guy took the opportunity to audition for his next job: playing himself in another Stephen Spielberg blockbuster: “Saving Private America.”  It’s a fantasy.

Any way  you’re probably wondering how the Correspondents’ Dinner – “The annual event, which brings together US President Barack Obama, Hollywood celebrities, news media personalities and Washington correspondents” ever came to be. Originally it was simply an opportunity for the poor shmucks assigned to cover the White House and the President day in and day out, to enjoy a night out. The idea was for the political correspondents to get together with the object of their hard hitting investigative coverage for a little light fun and frivolity. The correspondents were all allowed to invite guests, who tended to be people they admired: Senators, Congressmen, serious journalists and successful businessmen.

To some extent this is still the case, only now they refer to their party  – ironically – as a nerd prom. It’s really an assembly of all the “cool” people who get together to rub elbows with the object of their affection. And they still invite their idols  who now days tend to be cool Hollywood types who play politicians,

Ides of March star, George Clooney (don’t forget to buy your raffle ticket to win dinner with George and Big Guy!)

serious political writers:

Arianna, formerly of HuffPo

and successful businessmen,

Kevin Spacey, in Horrible Bosses

on the silver screen.

Plus there’s always a few lobbyists, activists, and other sluts thrown in for good measure.

The ever lovely Lindsay Lohan, lending her “talents” to the Washington Correspondents scene

     Kim Kardasian, lobbying for a purpose

One of many uncomfortable moments: another close call on a “bitch stole my look” moment:

                  

Leslie Mann (of Knocked Up fame) showed up in a dress very reminiscent of Lady M’s spectacular fruit salad dress.

Sandra Fluke, activist

Sandra Fluke was also in attendance last night. Not only is she an activist for the War Against Women, she’s also got a gig lined up to star in the sequel to Knocked Up, called Not Knocked Up. She owes that all to Big Guy.

And Lady M soldiered on, holding up her part as best FLOTUS in a supporting role. Laughing on cue and charming all the celebrities with that way she has of effortlessly tossing her head back with a dynamic combination of authority and sexual tension.

Oh, Jimmie!

Even our newly initiated Correspondents Dinner Red Carpet was a big hit. At least with Big Guy’s inner circle.

Howdy Messina with his prom date, left, and Mr. and Mrs. Claire Shipman, right.

So all-in-all, a good night, except for – what, 5 or 6 bad dog jokes?

Well, that will have to do it for my remote coverage of last night’s festivities. My portable wifi hot spot doesn’t work as well as Big Guy’s nerds said it would (surprise) so I’m experiencing technical difficulties. I should have just listened to Raj and relied on roadside  Starbucks or gotten that new droid.

I almost forgot to give you the answer to the question, “What’s the difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull?”

Answer: The pit bull works for the DNC!

Sgt. Wasserman Schultz

Linked By: Bus Insider on Business Insider, and Syzygy on HotAir, sb on Weasel Zippers, ClinkinKY on TF Metals Report, MRM on twitter, and Zilla of the Resistance on twitter,  Thanks!