Evolving

Four words: The authentic self. Evolving.

What the heck is going on around here? France elects an openly socialist president, and Indiana throws a perfectly a good ole boy moderate overboard in favor of a…right wingnut  Tea Party candidate!? Are you kidding me? Somebody didn’t get the memo about the world tilting to the left again.

And then North Carolina voters approved a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage? Is nobody paying attention to Big Guy’s message of HOPE and CHANGE anymore?

“Yeah, what Joey said. Butt don’t quote me while I’m still evolving.”

                

And boy, he doesn’t want to get anywhere near that gay marriage grenade. Which is why, instead of delivering his message on gay marriage in person like he did his message on missile defense, he sent Joey B out last Sunday to cue the troops that he’ll take care of that little problem after he gets reelected, and has a little more flexibility.

Butt given the conservative mood of the country in some quarters, we’re all getting a little touchy about the whole gay marriage thing. Even me. For example, as I was scanning the newsy yesterday, I read this headline: “Obama's vague gay marriage under scrutiny.”

It turns out I skipped over a rather key word, “stance”: Obama's vague gay marriage stance under scrutiny. And then the next headline I saw said this: “Time for Obama to come out” butt that, too, turned out to be my browser’s truncated version of the full headline Time for Obama to come out on gay marriage.  Which isn’t really a whole lot better, now that I think about it.

Anyway, that last article wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement of Big Guy’s “evolving” position on gay marriage either:

If you wonder whether the president actually opposes same-sex marriage, doesn’t evolution imply change? And if you think perhaps he’s still conflicted — well, that’s hardly an advertisement to be leader of the free world.

That’s harsh. What part of the nuance of “evolving” don’t these people get? Apparently it’s the part about the metamorphosis not being done until after Big Guy’s reelection.

We’ve got a lot of special interest groups we have to keep up in the air. I mean, how crazy would it be for BO to come out of his chrysalis now and risk alienating any of our voting blocks?

And speaking of special interest groups, that reminds me of a special contest in our ever evolving contest meme: “Pimp my Presidency.”

      

          

        

        

and the best is yet to be:

This week’s contest is dedicated to a special subset of one of our very special, special interest group: women. Be sure to enroll your Mom today in our “Win your Mom a shout-out from Big Guy,” contest that ends at midnight tonight! All you have to do is get 5 of your friends to contribute to BO’s reelection coffers and your Mom will automatically be entered (be sure to include her email, so we can contact her – you know, in case she wins). This is a real twofer: you help Big Guy WiN and Mom might win a special Mother’s Day greeting from Big Guy himself! So be sure not to miss your chance to “Pimp your Mom for Obama.”

Seriously though, people are overreacting to Big Guy’s evolving positions on all these issues where taking a position runs the risk of alienating some of our fans. Let’s face it; politicians by definition are constantly “evolving” - if by “evolving” you mean dodging, evading and lying.

It hasn’t always been this way. Oh sure, lying and politics go way back, butt Big Dawg Clinton can be credited with taking this concept to the level it enjoys today. Once you can say “It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’, is” with a straight face, you’ve evolved “evolving” to another whole dimension. Now, as long as you can say something with a straight face, you can say anything.

Take the case of Pochahontas Warren for example. This blonde haired, blue eyed princess so wanted to relate to the victims that she hoped to one day represent that she actually claimed to be “one of them.”

Elizabeth Warren, the undocumented Cherokee princess demonstrates how much Indian blood she actually has.

Victor Davis Hansen comments on the nature of this recent fraud scam identity “evolution:”

Anyone who has taught in a university has come across the “Cherokee” con, especially given the Oklahoma diaspora in California. By the time I retired from CSU, I was exhausted with “1/16th” Cherokee students, who claimed success with their gambits. This was a world of Provost Liz Smith-Lopezes, José Beckers, Simba Bavuals, and all the other attempts to traffic in victimized identities.

Still, Warren, as no other recent examples, reminds us of the bald fakery in America these days. “Van” Jones was not born Van Jones. Louis (note the Jehmu Greene bowtie) Farrakhan was not born Farrakhan (yet just try to be a cool black racist as the Caribbean Louie Wolcott, aka Calypso Gene). In his twenties, Barry Dunham Obama went from Barry (a not very useful preppie suburbanite-sounding name) to Barack Obama. In the La La lands of academia, high journalism, and big government (though not in the landscaping business, farming, or short-order cookery), we sometimes wear identities in America as we do clothes, a different outfit as the occasion demands, given that our present-day Jim Crow racialists are busy figuring out to what degree pigment, ethnic ancestry, nomenclature, or assumed identity “counts.”

Ever since that “first black president” shtick worked so well for Big Dawg everyone started to adopt a minority persona for political gain. And then, sure enough, along comes Big Guy to seal the deal on the value of “minority” heritage. Of course his is authentic.

And now the other half of the original two-for-one presidency has come out firmly on the side of authenticity too. Apparently no matter how, uh…authentic it gets.

Eeee-yikes! Are those Frankenstein stitches? Maybe we aren’t completely “authentic” after all.

Apparently there has been some “airbrushing” going on in the past. I know, hard to believe. Butt now I guess we’re, uh, evolving.

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.

Linked By: sb on Weasel Zippers, and anniej on PJ Media, Thanks!

GenVeg: WTF?

Four Words: Propaganda, dandy; tyranny, quicker.

Have you heard about the GenVeg campaign? No, it’s not a new youth-vote drive. It’s a collaboration between Birdseye and Lady M to promote their frozen vegetables and her No Child’s Fat Behind program.

The Partnership for a Healthier America (PHA), which works with the private sector and its honorary chair First Lady Michelle Obama to end the childhood obesity crisis, today announced that Birds Eye, America's leading vegetable company, is launching a three-year effort to encourage kids to look at vegetables in a whole new way.

Carrots are people too

It’s probably just me, butt I’m not sure “GenVeg” is exactly what I’d call a campaign aimed at making kids “healthier.”

Seriously: there are so many ways for kids to “veg out” these days that encouraging more of it doesn’t seem to be such a good idea. Look at all the ways there are for kids to waste time, just hanging out:

 

And now there’s an official YouTube Hangout and Google+ where you and your friends can simultaneously – in different locations - spend hours watching the baby panda-cam:

or just “hanging out” with the Preezy of the United Steezy:

Heck, you can even attend a Cinco de Mayo party

without ever having to leave your couch:

So like I said, it’s probably just me butt I don’t think GenVeg is the most inspired name for the effort intended to support Lady M’s Let’s Move! campaign.

Anyway, I guess the operative term in this latest Government-Private Sector partnership is “America’s leading vegetable company” – and looking to stay that way. So I guess you could say that Birdseye knows which side of the plate it’s bread is buttered on.

    

Birds Eye will invest a minimum of $6 million over three years and is launching a campaign that celebrates and engages GenVeg —a generation of kids who want to eat and enjoy their vegetables. This marketing and advertising effort will encourage children to eat more vegetables by going straight to the source, kids, through a partnership with Nickelodeon's hit live-action series iCarly in 2012 and one of America's most well-known young stars who will serve as campaign ambassador, reaching kids where they are, on their level and in their own voice. [ed: their iPhones and iPods]

Birdseye credits the idea for their new campaign entirely to Lady M’s inspiration: it’s called propaganda! Big Guy’s reelection campaign is using it too. And it’s perfect for getting people to change their behavior. In other words, eat more frozen vegetables! Or in the case of Big Guy’s campaign, vote for four more years of eating your vegetables.

“Kids empowering other kids to eat more vegetables.”

With the proper toolkit of carrots and sticks, you too can get people to do things that are good for them, butt they may not necessarily want to do on their own. Like buy an electric car made by Big Guy’s General Motors in order to save the world.

"Birds Eye understands that talking to kids differently about eating their vegetables is an important part of helping to change their eating habits.

And so, apparently, does the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, who wants the Wonce and Only to stop chowing down on unhealthy food in public. So that’s that: more veggies...

and no more dogs. At least not in public.

(I’ll stop when they stop)

So, we march on: with the Partnership for a Healthier America that was founded in 2010 in conjunction with Lady M to eliminate childhood obesity in one generation – and/or eliminate childhood hunger by 2016. I always get confused.

I suppose we’re due for an update soon on how our Central Planning Committee is doing with the plan to open non-profitable food stores in decimated urban centers (aka: food deserts). So far I think it’s coming along about as well as could be expected. Apparently even with taxpayer funded government initiatives, “underserved” areas aren’t really clamoring for more fresh veggies. They want more McDonalds. Just as well. It appears that food deserts aren’t necessarily the cause of obesity in America after all.

Butt one of Lady M’s other partners, Wal-Mart, has figured out that the mandate to eliminate food deserts is a sweet way to get around the objections from city councils across urban America who have battled against opening those nasty non-union stores in their cities!

Wal-Mart is trying to rekindle growth in the U.S. and has made opening urban stores a central piece of its strategy. The world’s largest retailer has encountered resistance from unions and activists who say Wal-Mart’s move into U.S. cities won’t create jobs that pay well and offer benefits.

As part of its effort to persuade Chicago officials to let it open stores in the third-largest U.S. city, Wal-Mart in June, 2010, vowed to open “several dozen stores” to “help eradicate food deserts and stimulate local economic development.”

Plus, if you play extra nice, you get Obamacare waivers too!

So all I can say is “kudos Birdseye!” It looks like you too have learned how to play Obama-nopoly! Go past Go without stopping, get out of jail free – all while helping Lady M create the nanny state mindset required to abolish childhood obesity/hunger in one generation. You, Birdseye, are yet another in a long line of real American Heros!

        

          

Making children cry, one vegetable at a time. I hope you’re happy.

Now go to your room.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Patty on Gateway Pundit, and MYMYMY on Newsvine, Thanks!

Where Is All This Hostility Coming From?

Four words of the day:  Lies, lies, damned lies. (h/t Juno)

My, my my! Where is all this hostility coming from?

Exhibit 1, from Jack Cashill: What Does “Composite Girl” Tell Us About Obama in which we are told:

“the real problem with Dreams is the inexcusable dishonesty throughout the book.  The promiscuous use of composites is merely a symptom of the larger problem.”

Why doesn’t he just come right out and call Big Guy a liar?

Oh wait. I guess he just did.

Not lies, compressions, see the difference?

And then there’s this: General Jack Keane, the former Vice Chief of Staff of the Army claiming that Big Guy knew the specifics of OBL’s location for months before deciding to pull the trigger!!?!

Wow! Why doesn’t he just come right out and say Big Guy’s incompetent!

Oh. I guess he just did.

So I tell you what: let’s change the subject. How about we talk about that ever decreasing unemployment rate! Elizabeth MacDonald reports:

The Bureau of Labor Statistics says the unemployment rate is dropping, and fell from 10% in October 2009 to 8.2% now. That’s got the White House and media pundits saying an economic recovery has taken place, and that the President’s stimulus bill, which cost more than $750 billion to date, has driven unemployment down towards 8% as promised.

However, the unemployment rate is the number of people out of work but who are actively looking. The government doesn’t count in that rate the now 6.3 million who have given up and stopped looking for work, but want jobs. That number has grown from 5.7 million in January 2009.

So, this "improvement" in the unemployment rate is artificial -- it was due to workers giving up and dropping out of the labor force.

Well for goodness sake, what’s her point? Just because the actual number of jobs the economy is losing every month is greater than the number being “created”  doesn’t necessarily mean that our unemployment numbers are lies, does it?

Oh. I guess it does.

“What’s important is the broader trend. Since President Obama took office, America has lost a net 740,000 jobs. But during the first 30 months of President Ronald Reagan’s economic recovery, which started in December 1982, total U.S. employment increased by 8.9 million jobs.”

Anyway, back to the Democratic Caucuses in Michigan last Saturday: you may have seen bringsdogstowork’s comment that the link, which originally stated Please bring a photo id had been changed to read "Please bring an id (photo id is not required.)"

In the interest of complete transparency, and just so there’s no confusion as to who’s lying to whom, I thought I should publish Big Guy’s Big White Government Sanctioned (isn’t that illegal?) email that Raj received regarding Saturday’s event:

So I guess maybe they were just getting some flak from the social justice squad regarding the requirement to flash a photo ID, and decided to correct the errors of their way.

An aside: I really love the way Team Obama’s Technogeek Field Technology Unit is able to zero in on where all our loyal supporters are located and personally direct geographically specific information in real time to them. Don’t you? It’s sort of like Big Brother watching you, only better.

Anyway, enough about me. Did you see the news from across the pond this weekend? In a surprising move, socialist France elected a full socialist president. So Sarkozy and the previously lovely Carla are now going to have to find their own quarters, complete with a nursery and nanny’s quarters. Boy, that’s going to cost a pretty penny given the state of the French economy!

Incoming leftist Francois Mitterrand Hollande will be arriving with his baggage and live-in, uh, Grand Dame, shortly. Whereas they are not married it’s unclear at this point just what Ms. Trierweiler will be called. It could be worse though, Francois could have had a same sex partner in which case the traditional ‘Première Dame’ may or may not have been appropriate. I hope they straighten this out soon, it’s clear we can’t continue with the long standing traditional ways and titles.

After all, traditional marriage is so last century. And irrelevant. If you don’t believe me just ask Joey B: it means absolutely nothing anymore. Or anything. Whatever you want it to be, or not. Who do you love? That’s all.

Butt just because Mitterrand Hollande didn’t marry the woman he cohabitated with for 30 years and had 4 children by doesn’t mean he won’t marry his new mistress, Valarie Trierweiler:

Victorie! Francois and his Rottweiler

Although the fact that Ms. Trierweiler once slapped a male colleague for making a “sexist” remark probably augers against there being one of those old fashioned sexist rituals taking place in the Elysee Palace –  now known as the temple of Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité and European Socialism!

Big Guy’s totally cool with that. And it will be nice to have a fellow traveler along for the upcoming G-8 and NATO summit.

So I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what the official title for the little French Rottweiler will be.

All I know is there hadn’t better be any more doggie jokes at the upcoming G-8 meeting.

That includes you, Joey! And put that rotty pup down!

Anyhoo, I understand that the French Rotty had a major hand in the transformation of Hollande: turning the bland political wannabe from a quite ordinary little party functionary into the lightweight contender and title winner that his is today. Since Valarie has a media background she knows how important the right kind of media coverage is when dealing with mediocre talent.

             

One of these two mediocre talents should be able to take advantage of the other’s.

It’s just like H. L. Menken said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the French public."  No wait! That’s a lie! Well, a joke really - he was talking about the American public!

Butt don’t worry: we’re all in on the joke now.

Linked By: sb on Weasel Zippers, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and basil99 on Hillary Is 44, and Smartmouthwoman on Political Forum, and rocker124 on The Last Refuge, Thanks!

A Hoarse of a Different Color

Today’s four words: One. Big. Ass. Moon.

Saturday was a killer: we campaigned to the point of hoarseness. That’s hoarse - with an “a.”

A horse is hoarse, of course, of course

I know - it was derby day, so it’s easy to get your horse’s asses confused: they all look the same from the rear. Butt let the record reflect: I’ll Have Another won, and My Adonis was scratched. I wouldn’t read anything into it though, because frankly, nobody really needs Another. And everyone knows these horse races are rigged.

Which reminds me, I see that, in addition to the War on Women, the R-words have now launched a War on our Lapdogs too. What next – a demand to show a photo ID to vote?

Little Bo, briefing our Lapdogs

Anyway, the R-words launched this war a long time ago:

It became more important and fashionable for a majority in the media to protect their lifestyles against the right-wing horde descending upon them, and to assuage their guilt, rather than comprehend what was happening around them or the controlling agenda they unwittingly supported.

Thus, the coverage of news stories concerning conservative issues or politicians became notable for vitriol and deliberate slanting or omission of facts. Polls, commissioned by the media and easily manipulated, were substituted for news and real reporting…(snip)

This 45-year evolution of the mainstream media culminated in the election of Barack Obama, who on the surface fulfilled all the requirements of an ideal presidential candidate for the chattering class. He was one of them --  Ivy League-educated, well-spoken, attractive, and capable of saying all the right things designed to appeal to the myopic worldview of the New York-Washington media axis. But above all, he was African-American, an opportunity to wash away the collective guilt so embedded in the psyche of the press.[ed. and, as it turned out, a good deal of the rest of the nation as well]

 

Butt since today is National Lemonade Day (really), let’s give the lapdogs the benefit of the doubt and just say they’re trying to make lemonade out of all the lemons they’ve been sucking on for a couple of years. Cripes! We haven’t had a really good jobs report in what – 39 months? So they have to do the best with what we give them:

 

 Like Weasel Zippers, I, too, will go out on a limb and say…uh, no.

 

So let’s talk about something a bit more upbeat: our big launch of the READY TO GO -FORWARD campaign in Columbus yesterday. Yay! Do I hear a “FIRE UP!”?

 

Here a policeman stands guard in case there’s an “overflow” crowd and they need to use the balconies. They didn’t.

The last time Lady M and Big Guy campaigned together in Ohio was in October of 2010, remember? Before the Tea Party swept a gazillion conservatives into office? So yesterday Lady M decided to get a little more dressed up for the rally. Although I don’t really think she can blame her sartorial choice for the drumming the Dems took in 2010. It may have been a bit, uh, unconventional, butt I’m unaware of any political contest that has ever been lost because the FLOTUS wore her blouse backwards.

     

Let’s just say it would have been a confusing choice for launching the campaign we’ve now decided to dub “FORWARD.”

Big Guy, on the other hand, chose to wear exactly the same thing he did last time.

Why size matters

2010 (l) 2012 (r): Say! That’s not a shift is it…to the right?

 

Butt say - that reminds me! Did you all see the “super moon” last night!? Awesome!

 

Butt I digress. As I was saying, BO wore his lucky casual-day outfit: navy blazer, light blue shirt, brown slacks, brown shoes. He did change his rhetoric up a little though. We’re still all about HOPE and CHANGE, butt he didn’t mention George W. Bush by name this time when he blamed everything on the previous administration. So that’s a step FORWARD.

Columbus, 2010 and 2012. Still in step! Still READY TO GO! FORWARD!

Oh, and just one other news item of note before I’m off: yesterday was Democratic Caucus day in Michigan. Don’t worry, the Preezy of the United Steezy won the delegation in a breezy. What was interesting though was this reminder to the delegates be to be sure to bring their photo I.D.!

Things will get started at 9 a.m. and the registration to vote at the caucus ends at 11 a.m. You must be 18-years old or older, registered to vote (or be eligible to vote in the November election and willing to pledge that you will register to vote by then) and in line by 11 a.m. to vote. You will be asked to sign a statement saying your are participating as a Democrat. Please bring a photo id.

Because winging it is good enough for general elections, butt we can’t have any interlopers sneaking into the Michigan Democratic Caucuses.

Only lapdogs need apply.

I understand there are butts here that need to be sniffed.

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!