Now is my moment: I am the Won you’ve been waiting for!

Well, well well. Here I’ve been - just doing my job - reflecting and refracting our historic presidency; and now, it seems, I’m having a bit of a “moment.”

“TIME TO REFLECT: From luminous furniture to ethereal fashion, mirrors are having a moment”

Mirrored objects; WSJ, July 27, 2012

I suppose Disney will take all the credit for it:

Butt I’d like to think that my continuing efforts behind the scenes has made a small contribution to this somewhat reflective craze that appears to be sweeping the country:

click to play

“Ms. Kusama's transportive work is just one of many examples of the art, design and fashion worlds' current fascination with reflective surfaces.

“The beauty of the mirrored look? What you see can be entirely up to you.”

“For its home line, Successful Living from Diesel, the label collaborated with Italian furniture maker Moroso to create a giant looking glass printed with an early scientific image of the moon. "Wouldn't it be nice to stare into the great universe beyond your four walls?" mused Renzo Rosso, the founder of Diesel.”

Just remember not to stare into the sun

Or the abyss

 

"Mirrors can make a room or a piece of clothing feel dreamlike and more expensive, although they're made from very simple and inexpensive materials,"

“said fashion designer Thom Browne, who embroidered a floor-length tulle dress with tiny square mirrors:

Thom Browne’s dress with tiny square mirrors; Lady M’s mirrored butt length medieval tunic.

“Alexander Wang choreographed supermodels like Gisele Bündchen to gaze at themselves through mirrored pillars at his fall 2012 runway show.”

 

We can do that!

We’ve got a lot of experience with columns!

“Yves Saint Laurent is offering a pump with mirrored heels;”

Yves Saint Laurent Leather Pump ($1,095); MO’s sista’ silver heels (priceless)

“and jewelry designer Delfina Delettrez offers rings and necklaces inspired by Baroque mirrors in Roman palaces. "When you see yourself reflected in those antique mirrors, it transports you to another era," she said.”

Oh it would be good to be king!

Of course Lady M was way ahead of the curve on this shiny, mirrored trend. She’s been dressing in reflective garb ever since she got here:

And check out how MO’s been  rockin’ trendoid “reflecting” accessories since day one:

             

Lanvin Resort Collection 2013; last resort reflecting boob belt and mirrored mini-me

Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci Shiny Pale Gold Plate Earrings; hanging garden mirrored orbs

Dolce & Gabbana Gold Edition Sunglasses, $600; MO’s Tarjay reflectors, too cheap to mention

“It's true that mirrors are, in reality, just glass with a reflective coating, but right now, they feel like so much more.”

It even takes my breath away sometimes! Now if I could just do something about those “toned” guns, I would be magic.

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Wrestling with the transformation of our economy

It’s beginning to sound a lot like a bad country western song around here, “the economy is stallin’ and the debt keeps haulin’.”

h/t Doug Ross

And if you think that’s an ugly picture take a gander at this one!

Lady M was literally swept off her feet on Friday by U.S. Olympic wrestler Elena Pirozhkova. Wow! That is one schtrong woman! And brave, too! I don’t think I wish to say anything more about this incident which wasn’t included in our official photo-op file.

So let’s get back to something that’s not as disturbing: did you know that 223,000 businesses were “disappeared” just since Big Guy took over the economy that Bush ruined? I suppose that explains what happened to some of the gazillion workers who likewise “disappeared” from the workforce in order to keep our unemployment numbers down around 8%. Not that 8% is good, it’s just that it’s a lot better than the real number which is at least double that.

Don’t worry though because BO’s Treasury Department along with his Federal Reserve are still printing money so he can spend it like, well, a socialist dicktator. Now he wants to transform the rules on student loans to allow those whacky kids who can’t find jobs with their whacky degrees to file bankruptcy and just “disappear” some of those gazillion dollar loans that they accumulated while playing beer pong and picking up advanced degrees in social-gender-race-identity studies. That’s right: file bankruptcy and lose your student loan! Thank you Big Guy! And don’t forget to vote for him in November. Twice. Because without your vote(s) there won’t be any more free stuff for everyone as we finally achieve social justice.

And since we’ve now experienced the 12th straight quarter of economic growth (That’s right!1.5% is technically growth. Never mind that Reagan’s recovery in the 80’s created 8% growth for more than 16 quarters in a row. That’s so old school –  we’re America! We can afford to make do with less!) 1.5% is sort of the new, transformed “robust.” 

And speaking of transformed robust, did you see Lady M’s new Transformer jacket?

It was created by J. Mendel to Department of Defense specifications: "white viscose techno crepe tailored jacket with overlapped side panels and silver embroidery" combined with an ivory silk satin faced chiffon pleated skirt and shiny silver heels.

h/t Fausta

The DoD specs call for the side flaps to rotate outward to form bat-like delta wings, the shoulder cap turns into a cockpit atop Lady M’s fuselage and the belly and tail flaps become the tail and ailerons. I know it’s hard to envision if you haven’t ever seen a Transformer  movie,

Transformer in battle formation: artists rendition

 

but it’s all laid out in this DoD instruction sheet:

And here’s how the actual J. Mendel version works.

It’s really just another level of security implemented for the Olympic games. We needed extra security precautions because we are ostensibly a friend of Israel’s. And we all know how terrorists like to target and attack Israel and her allies – what? You don’t? I guess that’s because the Olympic Committee thought it might be, uh… indelicate,  to mentioned that 1972 massacre that happened precisely 40 years ago yesterday. 

Anyway, no need to worry. There were no incidents. Lady M didn’t even touch the Queen:

The Queen armed herself with a wine glass this time to prevent a frontal assault

Well, got to run now. Lady M & I are having lunch with some of our biggest O-Team sponsors. You know, people who have been successful because of Big Guy’s government and have therefore wisely chosen to give a little back.

Oh, you thought I meant to our “O”-lympic Team? Silly you...we’ve really got bigger fish than that to fry around here. You won’t find THIS schedule listed on the White House Dossier!

9:40 AM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.
10:15 AM	Obama attends a campaign event.
11:00 AM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event..
11:30 AM	Obama attends a campaign event.
1:10 PM	Obama attends a campaign event
1:15 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.
4:45 PM	Obama departs the White House en route McLean, Virginia.
4:55 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.
5:25 PM	Obama attends a campaign event.
7:35 PM	Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.
8:25 PM	Obama departs McLean, Virginia en route the White House.
8:35 PM	Obama arrives at the White House.

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That’s the Olympic Spirit: Winning!

Lady M’s in London today to make sure that our Olympians understand that winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. If they manage to win lots of gold medals for the first time in their lives, she and Big Guy can finally be proud of American superiority.

Blending in with the flag

First she met with some of our women basketball stars:

It’s not easy making MO look small, even if you’re a center

Although brother Craig makes everybody look small, I don’t care who you are:

Hey little bro!

Butt back to MO:

Butt first, let me tell you about me

As is her habit, MO personalized her remarks to the U.S. Olympic Team by sharing her own life experiences:

She told the group that some of her fondest memories in sports stemmed from watching the Olympics on television. She also shared the story of her father, who was athletic and contracted multiple sclerosis "in the prime of his life."

No mention this time of those “fond memories” including curling up in Daddy’s lap to watch the games, as she told the audience in Copenhagen when she was making a pitch for Chicago to host the 2016 games.

No –O-Lympics for Chicago

Some family-values voters found that a little creepy, as MO would’ve been in her 20’s at the time of the games she was referring to, so we dropped that up-close and personal detail from our life story.

Anyway, we’ve gotten most of our official duties here in London out of the way already:

Breakfast with athletes, check.

“Let’s Move” anti-obesity event: check.

University of Florida marching band at MO’s Let’s Move London event: Floridians, what have you to say for yourselves? 

The Let’s Move event featuring military children: check.

And as of this evening’s reception at Buckingham Palace prior to the Olympic opening ceremonies, Lady M will have fulfilled all of her official duties. Other A-listers attending the Palace event will include Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Muhammad Ali, James Bond star Daniel Craig and Sir Pall McCartney. Quick trivia question: what do they all have in common? That’s right! In addition to being friends of the Queen, they’re all FOB’s (friends of Barry’s) – and they’ve all been official visitors at the Big White. It really is a small world isn’t it?

Anyway following tonight’s events, MO and the Wee Wons will be free to enjoy the games for the next 2 days before they have to come back home to raise more money for our historic re-election so we can continue our sacrificing for four more years.

And just because Lady M’s in London for a long weekend doesn’t mean she isn’t getting some decent face time back in the USA just in time for re-election 2012.

H/T ConservativeMom

Nice. Butt  wait a minute! What’s this: “50 Shades of '’No Way’ Why you’re not getting ANY” !?!  “NO B.S. behavior guide”?  Who the heck is in charge of cover design and layout over there – some kind of underhanded right-wing saboteur? Why does everything have to be so political?  Oh - and just for the record – that ill-placed blurb is in no way a reflection on what may or may not be happening - or not happening – around here. Formal denials to follow.

Anyway, it’s a great article on parenting that you won’t want to miss. MO explains what’s important for raising your kids right:

She says sports are as important for her girls as homework and friends. "It's important to learn how to compete, to develop a skill…[how to lose]…and how to work as a team. I want them to learn how to sweat, how to win gracefully and lose with dignity."

File away under “Do as I say, not as I do:” as she, herself, never really played sports in high school or college. Brother Craig explains:

Although a great athlete, she shied away from competitive sports because, her big brother says, "she hated losing".

And while we know Lady M knows how to sweat - winning gracefully?

Losing with dignity?

Not so much. Although we have found something Lady M can excel at:

Winning! MO takes first place in the competitive eating competition, fruitcake division

See there: I guess we can all evolve:

“Winning” woo-hoo! I get it! It’s the only thing!

WTF: Are You In?

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Dismantling the one we’ve got in order to form a more perfect union

 

True revolutionaries do not flaunt their radicalism. They cut their hair, put on suits and infiltrate the system from within. – Saul Alinsky

Check

“And that is the belief that in America, change is always possible. That our union may not be perfect, but it is perfectible."

Seriously? Big Guy didn’t really say that did he?

He did!? It sounds like something one of our summer interns might have pulled out of the “Rhetoric of Progressive Idealism” handbook.

I guess I can’t lay this one on an intern; Big Guy has been telling us pretty much the same thing ever since his 2008 “More Perfect Union” speech. Of course back then everyone thought it was, well, you know…rhetorical. Who knew that “transforming America” meant –transforming our Constitution into his own image and likeness?

I have been sent to transform your union into something more perfect: me

With Czars and Executive Edicts and Administrative rules? I mean, whoever would’ve believed that was even possible – without so much as a peep out of anyone?

BO’s Little Peeps

"That we can strive over time, through effort and sweat and blood and tears until it is the place we imagine. It may come in fits and starts, at a pace that can be slow and frustrating, but if we are willing to push through all the doubt and the cynicism and the weariness, then yes, we can form that more perfect union.”

Standby: I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what Big Guy and the Big Brains consider “a more perfect union” to be.

Maybe it will include “Meatless Mondays.”  Because I see that the USDA just endorsed that campaign. Seriously?

The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) recent announcement that the agency embraces the “Meatless Monday” concept calls into question USDA’s commitment to U.S. farmers and ranchers. USDA stated “one simple way to reduce our environmental impact while dining at our cafeteria is to participate in the “Meatless Monday” initiative.”

Don’t worry, they’ve already walked it back: saying it was “unauthorized.”  (I’ll say! Monday is Kobe slider day around here.) Of course “unauthorized” is different from “not in support of” butt our official position is that the edict was issued by a “rogue animal rights activist.”

Maybe our “more perfect union” will include Big Guy’s new civilian police force, “just as strong just as powerful and just as well funded as the military.”

I just love having the opportunity to repost this picture of “the boyz to men” club

Butt Mayor Bloomberg didn’t really call for national anarchy in order to kick-start the program did he? He did!? Seriously?

"I would take it one step further. I don't understand why police officers across this country don't stand up, collectively, and say, 'We're going to go on strike. We're not going to protect you unless you, the public, through your legislature, do what's required to keep us safe."

Don’t worry, I guess he’s already walked that back. He didn’t really say what you thought he said, just because he said it.

Maybe our more perfect union will carve out more acceptance for non-traditional sexual orientations. No, not GLBTs: I’m talking Porn Stars. Because I see that Big Guy just gave a shout-out to Gay Porn King Terry Bean at his Portland fundraiser. Dude. Seriously?

“I want to thank somebody who put so much work into this event Terry Bean.  Give Terry a big round of applause.”  (Applause.)

Well, the guy is a “big bundler” and I think they may know each other from Man’s Country back in Chicago. Butt gosh, this does beg the question: is their anyone’s money we wouldn’t take? Aside from terrorists I mean? That is, assuming you can prove they’re terrorists. Well, unless you can prove they’re terrorists butt they’re not world leaders. In that case we’ll roll out the red carpet and fire up our hookah.

So lets just stick with pervs for now: Wow - Terry! Successful businessman and owner of the world famous gay porn movie production companies Falcon Studios, Jock Studios, and Mustang Studios! He’s like a gay porn tycoon! Butt hey Terry, did you know that you didn’t get there on your own? That you didn’t build that? That somebody else made that happen? That we succeed because we do things together? In regard to that last point, I suppose Mr. Gay Porn King Terry Bean would have to agree. Unclear on the other ones though.

Anyway, still awaiting the walk-back on this shout-out. Standby, I give it no more than 24 hours before old Terry is sent “packin.”

Barack Hussein Obama: Perfecting the Union since 2009

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